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Robus

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About Robus

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    Muse In Training

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  1. They sound very nice. I'm not knowledgeable enough about the genre to offer any critique. I did notice in the second song that the deep gong sound is setting off quite a rumble and buzz in my speakers. I don't know how much low frequency energy is standard in the genre, but I think you would need a subwoofer to do justice. Personally, I would be thinking about hi-passing that low pad or whatever at maybe 50 Hz just to clean things up.
  2. Hi, this is my second original song posting on this forum. The previous was called Bored in San Antone that I posted in early June. Here is another new song, just finished. The vocals are by JohnnyAmato and the drums by ibleedburgundy, both from the Homerecording(dot)com site where we post and hang out. I wrote the song and tracked the bass, keys and guitars. All comments welcome. Thanks! https://www.dropbox.com/s/4le16asp7do2jly/Seedy Side of Heaven_Ray Taylor_Mix 16.mp3?dl=0 Seedy Side of Heaven Words and music by Ray Taylor, 2017 The morning kicked off early Cop lights blinking on the lawn The details of last night are blurry Though the salient points are known Hitched up to the station To pick up your car and keys Seems the tighter wire I’m walking The shorter is my leash Ever since I’ve been with you So we’re parking in your trailer Connoisseurs of hand-me-outs Last year’s outlook was bullish Till the bank towed the T Bird out Sweet dreams of Shangri La Guess we learned what they’re about And while the lottery may yet deliver The forecast otherwise is drought Gimme a few more weeks with you I’ll be walking on the seedy side of heaven The way that I met you Tonight come wrapped in velvet Whiff of voodoo in the air And the evening hot and surly Breath of bayou in your hair The things we do on a summer night Better done than mentioned Let me say in brief and I repeat You sure got my attention Well ever since I’ve been with you I’ve been walking on the seedy side of heaven And every day I spend with you That’s time enough to break my heart in two Leave me crying adieu Ever since I’ve been with you I’ve been walking on the seedy side of heaven It’s where I found you
  3. Robus

    Guilty Fingers

    BTW, just reading your previous comment about difficulty shortening the song. How are you recording? If you are using a DAW on your computer, just build the song up by sections and edit manually. I suggest you track the guitars first, then overdub vocals.
  4. Robus

    Guilty Fingers

    Keep working on the playing. Focus on fretting the notes cleanly, and muting the ones you don't want to hear. You don't need to be a stellar guitarist you record song. You just need to play cleanly and in time. Check your tuning. Songwriting critique: First and foremost, make it snappier. You need to move the song along briskly. Shorten your intro. A single acoustic guitar strumming chords will not hold the listener's attention for very long. Get to your vocal more quickly. The song is too long by 1:30. There are sections where nothing much is happening (for example, about 30 seconds of vocal-less strumming that starts about 2:30). The chorus itself slows down the momentum of the song instead of bumping up the energy level. Notice how the Oh, oh, ohs and what follows disrupt your momentum. Go for quicker turnarounds that lead promptly back into the next verse and move the listener along. Lyrically, I'm not really following you. It strikes me religious perhaps, with it's themes of guilt and blood sacrifice, it's black bird and white dove, etc. What has the singer done to feel such guilt and remorse? What has his neighbor done? Did he kill his neighbor? Is all this somehow metaphorical of Original Sin, itself a metaphor? Hope this helps.
  5. Robus

    When You're Alone

    It's an attractive melody and chord progression (something put me in mind of the theme song from one of those spagetti westerns with Clint Eastwood--really, listen for it). That's neither here nor there. I realize this is a songwriting forum, but I would strongly suggest that you upgrade your production values. Get the playing solid. For an example of what I mean, listen to the keyboard in the first chorus. All that stuff detracts from your demo and needs to be fixed. You are recording a MIDI performance I hope, right? Just go in and edit the notes by hand. Everybody does it, from pro producers to schmucks like me. You should too. Also, listen carefully to the interaction between the vocal and keyboard. The latter is stepping on your vocal in many places. That's a mixing problem that could be fixed easilty. Oh, and please get rid of that noise at the end. It's loud, and nobody is going to want to hear it come blaring through their speakers or earbuds unexpectedly. In terms of composition, two issues stand out for me. First, there is not much change in the energy level between verse and chorus, or throughout the song. It's a basic vocal and keys arrangement, but even so--especially so--you need to create the feeling that the song is building, moving, changing. Second, the lyrics don't say much. Maybe I'm being thick, but the ideas you put forward don't really cohere with each other. What is the connection between having an army and phoning home? Is there a war going on? What sort? Over what? Is it won, or is it lost? How did having a meal influence the outcome? Did the general of one army perhaps spend to long at the dinner table, and forget to make plans for the battle? How does all this connect with the last verse? This is an interesting idea but needs further development.
  6. Robus

    Baltimore by Spy Convention

    Very much an 80s vibe to this song. The mix was muddy and dark. I was not able to understand your lyrics. I suggest a you high-pass your tracks if you are not doing so already: Kick drum at 25Hz, bass at 50Hz, guitars (if any at 100-150), synths as needed, and vocal at about 100Hz. I would also recommend you look at making a small cut in the lead vocal in the 400-500 range. These cuts should clean up the mix dramatically and let your lyric be intelligible. In terms of song structure, the lack of variation became off-putting after a minute or two.
  7. Reaper is worth a look too. You can try out the full version. Non-pro licence is about $60.
  8. Well done. The one thing I would suggest is to let the song build more quickly. There's a step up in the energy level with your third verse. i was ready for it when the second verse rolled around. It's a little too like a dirge in the opening and first two verses. You could boost the energy level still more. I could see boosting the tempo by 5 BPM.
  9. You could pitch shift a guitar down an octave i suppose, but thr simpler thing is to get a bass. if you can play guitar you have the foundations. You could buy a perfectly serviceable bass for $200. you can record it direct, no need for a bass amp.
  10. Hi all. First song posting here. I'm looking forward to listening, commenting, and posting more. This is a collaboration between myself and a couple of other posters over at the Homerecording.com site, which is my usual hangout. Johnny sang lead and harmony vox and played the outro guitar solo. Dave played the drums. I'm Ray. I wrote the song and recorded bass, keys, and all the guitars except Johnny's solo. Dave and I previously released an album's worth of my original songs with a different singer, but this is our first song with Johnny on vocals. All comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks! Latest mix: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eSqz2fFRae1h5fzOX1xUbZ3b9CSw4KkO/view?usp=sharing Bored in San Antone Words and music by Ray Taylor, 2017 We’re bored in San Antone That’s the most we need to know We’ll see it all and more When we’re together And I think I really dig you So what if it were true? We’d work it out somehow Or break it all in two And the Alamo looks smaller Than the tall tales and hollers We got a tale or two And mine’s got eyes for you Well it’s high ho Old Silver and away we go Excuse us if we don’t stand on formalities It’s lie low Storm coming and a wicked blow All the wicked know Is they ain’t bored tonight in San Antone Yeah, ooh, etc. Off a whirlwind tour of a cloverleaf On the south side of downtown Past the buff shops and the taco stands Where the highway spit us out I think I really love you Though who am I to say? There’s the right way And the wanton way And the games we’re wont to play Well the Alamo looks smaller Than the tall tales and the hollars I got no plans that don’t involve Your number Well it’s high ho Old Silver and away we go Excuse us if we don’t stand on formality It’s lie low Storm coming and a wicked blow All the wicked know Is they ain’t bored tonight in San Antone
  11. Robus

    In My Memory

    I agree that the song is too long. I had got the point by the end of that first section that starts "on that cold April morning." The verses that follow don't add new information apart from general ideas of despondency and loss. You could cull some of them, or consolidate the best bits into fewer, stronger stanzas. There are some phrases that are cliched and should be purged: "we passed just like two ships in the night." Personally, I didn't feel that your "from my memory x3" chorus ending was hooky enough. I'd work to make it just a little bit more memorable. Also, if it's FROM my memory, then that should be your song title. Well done. This is looking good so far.
  12. Robus

    Do You Know Me

    It's in need of a change-up. Come up with some chord changes, work from there. There's not much of a melody yet.
  13. Well, if you are interested in recording full arrangements it is very doable. There's a learning curve and some gear investments to make. But basically, if you can play you can do it. You need a DAW and audio interface and a drum VST like Addictive Drums, EZdrummer, etc. Those run as a plugin inside your DAW. You just build the arrangement piece by piece. Get a bass--an inexpensive one is fine. You don't need a bass amp. You can record bass direct right into your audio interface. If you are recording electric guitar, you can mic the amp with a mic like an SM57 or plug direct into your interface and run an amp sim as plugin inside your DAW. Amplitude and Guitar Rig are popular, though I wouldn't know as I always use a mic.
  14. Robus

    Adorable

    I like the song. The chord progressions and melodies were attractive. I liked that minimalist lead guitar work. Nice tone too. I would suggest: 1. Improve your mix. I know this is a songwriting forum, but the muddy quality of this demo doesn't show your song off in the best light. Turn down your bass. Try high passing your bass at 50Hz, your guitars at 100-150Hz, your kick drum at 25Hz, and your your toms at 100Hz. That should clean things up and let your arrangement be heard. 2. Vary your energy level. This goes both for the lead vocal performance and the arrangement. Maybe try to bring a little more passion to the vocal during the chorus? As for the arrangement, it doesn't really build. Perhaps simplify the opening part of the song, then add elements as you go. This is promising and could be made very much better. Hope this helps.
  15. Also promising. The lyrics work for me in a kind of minimalist way. More suggestive than specific, but they communicate. The melody is also minimalist, and better suited to your vocal range than the other song I critiqued. I'm not hearing much of a break or change in the energy level moving from the verse to the chorus. The melody and chord progressions are different, but the verse and chorus still sound too similar. The chorus isn't really shouting "I'm a chorus!" If I were arranging this, I'd bring in the keys and the second guitar, or something. Do you record full arrangements of your songs? I'd be interested to hear.
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