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SongWolfe last won the day on May 26

SongWolfe had the most liked content!

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About SongWolfe

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    Inspirational Muse
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  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
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    Varied rock - Alice Cooper, Axl Rose, Nick Cave, David Bowie, Bruce Springsteen

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  1. Ha - just a bit of a backstory. I originally wrote the lyrics without the bits in red (and without the bridge) for a piece of music that a musician had posted. He then asked if I could add in more verses, so the bits in red were to show him the new bits. What I decided to do with the extra verses was bring in the home life story of the protagonist rather than it just being about the fight that he and his crew mates were having with the sea. That collab didn't end up progressing but I have another musician who has written some music specifically for my lyrics. He then asked if I'd add a bridge so that section is brand new. Should probably have made everything the same colour for this site - bit of laziness on my part - but hope that clarification helps!
  2. I enjoyed this. Good amusing lyrics and very cleverly put together. Think Spinal Tap would kill for some of those innuendos. Like Liam says, in the UK scooters are not powerful motorbikes. Scooters make me think of little Vespa scooters being driven all around Italian cities, their riders doing their best to get run over by cars. However, I think most people will probably look past that and enjoy the song. It may even add an extra comic edge if people have that type of scooter in mind! Lyrics-wise, the one bit I wasn't sure about was the bridge. The rest of it was really easy to sing along to but I stumbled over the bridge. Wonder if the 3rd line has too many words?
  3. Here's a lyric that I wrote towards the start of this year. It's influenced by a true life tragedy that happened in a small village in Ireland where a fishing boat sank with the loss of all on board apart from one. My uncle was one of a number of local men who went out in their boats to help with the search mission and he actually discovered the body of one of the victims. Very sad and each life lost has a story behind it. Appreciate that it's quite long but have a musician who has said he'll work on it and hope it will hold the listener's attention. Any feedback welcome We follow the old ways (Verse 1) We set sail from a little village pier Heading to the great big sea, Going with the flow We follow the old ways. I said goodbye without a tear Laughing, you just waved at me, Going with the flow We follow the old ways. (Chorus) Bring the nets in Set sail for a safe port Ride the waves home. Loved ones Wait for us there, we know. (Verse 2) Days at sea to catch our haul Dredging luckies from the deep, Lighthouse flicker glow We follow the old ways. Days away from your side Feel like years to me, Lighthouse flicker glow We follow the old ways. (Verse 3) Holding course against the storm Batten everything down, Seconds seem so slow But we follow the old ways. Holding hands upon the sand Heartbeats the only sound, Seconds seem so slow We follow the old ways. (Chorus) Bring the nets in Set sail for a safe port Ride the waves home. Loved ones Wait for us there, we know. (Bridge) The storm called to take our lives Breaking bones on the rocks, I tasted its bitterness But clung to the sweetness of us (Verse 4) All hands lost apart from me I swam to the shore, Wild did the wind blow But we follow the old ways. Your scan pinned close to my heart Our baby on the way, Wild did the wind blow We follow the old ways. (Verse 5) All hands lost apart from me They sank under the waves, Wild did the wind blow But we follow the old ways. Your scan pinned close to my heart No words can truly say, Wild did the wind blow We follow the old ways. (Chorus) Bring the nets in Set sail for a safe port Ride the waves home. Loved ones Wait for us there, we know.
  4. Sounds like you've been busy writing new stuff! Of the new ones you've posted this is the one that's most stood out on first reading. I think the lyric was resonate with a lot of people, and hopefully not only with those brought up in Britain and Ireland. There's a nice sense of nostalgia to it, remembering back to childhood days. In terms of the music to accompany it, I'd be tempted to quintessentially English. Roy Harper's 'When an old cricketer leaves the crease'* somehow came to mind which may explain my next comments ... In my head I'm hearing a brass band and the sound of a cricket ball being hit, of a lawnmower, etc and maybe some rain sound effects. Feel free to disregard * If anyone's not heard this song, they should look it up ... even if baseball's more your thing
  5. This got my highest vote in the contest. It's excellent. I found it easy to imagine how it would be sung and the lyrics are sophisticated with a hint of mystery to them. And I liked the repetition of 'Promises are nothing more than whispers on the wind'. My only suggestion is that I'd be tempted to change the title to 'Promises' or 'Whispers on the wind'.
  6. I think there were probably a few factors that counted against this lyric in the contest. Firstly, if a significant proportion of people have to look up what a Ted talk is then you've got a problem. So I'd consider changing that part to find something that conveys the same point but in a more universally understandable way? I also felt there was some inconsistency in the description of the girl. In verse 1 it starts by suggesting that she's the type of person whose into spirituality and meditation so I got a sense of someone whose superstitious rather than rational. But then it mentions that she studies science and it just didn't stack up to me. So whilst there's some good lines I just didn't sense that it was an observation of a real event, of real people. Or feel emotionally drawn to either of the characters.
  7. Thanks and good question! Because of the war theme, I think the drum track is important. I can hear a sort of military drumming sound that could act as the heartbeat to the song. For the chorus, maybe there could be a prominent 'de-dum' drum sound after each repetition of 'Portraits of war' Then guitars over the drums, maybe a mix of acoustic and electric so that the pace changes at certain parts? Possibly some strings as well, cello? Need to find a musician or musicians who will play about with it and hopefully fill it out into a song
  8. Thanks. The original comedy sketch, I think was on that tightrope. Indeed, a few years later, I staged a comedy show with a writing buddy and he vetoed that sketch because the Iraq war was going on and he was worried in case anyone took offence at a script that had soldiers talking flippantly about a friend who'd lost an arm. However, I think that when you're in that hopeless position the natural tendency is to act like lads in a pub because the alternative of facing reality isn't good for one's sanity.
  9. Yes, in the 3rd verse the narrator has been injured, either by shrapnel or a bullet, and he's sketched his own image as the last in his notebook
  10. My entry from the June lyric contest. Thanks to everyone who rated it so highly. A very nice surprise that it did so well. The genesis of this lyric actually kind of goes back to 1999. Back in those days, the writing that I did was mainly comedy sketches to be performed in theatres and I wrote a war-related sketch called 'What did you want to do?' It was based around a group of soldiers stuck in the trenches waiting for death to come but taking their mind off that prospect by having irreverent banter about what they'd wanted to do before the war intervened. Recently, when I came up with the idea for this lyric, it reminded me of that sketch and I decided to try to weave in bits of the story. In the end, it's only really the reference to Eddie losing an arm that exactly matches up but the influence is still there. (However, at the end of the lyric I've included some extra intro lines that were in the 1st draft but which I then cut ... and they hark back more to the sketch) **I've made one minor tweak since posting in the contest, changing 'darkened' to 'darkening' in the Bridge.** Portraits of war (Verse 1) I sketch a calloused face Eyes still glint despite the pain, Mud runs like mascara Tear drop tracks made by the rain. The bombs explode like fireworks As we shoot the jolly breeze, And young Johnston's in the corner Looking like he's just asleep. (Chorus) Portraits of war Portraits of war Life's a bloody canvass Tell me what we're dying for? (Bridge) As the fires burn And the dying cry, I sketch out well worn faces Under a darkening sky. As my pages run out And my pencil stub blunts, I look back at all the names It feels like years, been just months. (Chorus) Portraits of war Portraits of war Life's a bloody canvass Tell me what we're dying for? (Verse 2) I don't see any hate Hearts still beat despite the pain, We trust to each other I'd carry you, you'd do the same. The guns chatter like old friends As we wear holes in our knees, I hear Eddie’s lost an arm The fare to get home isn't cheap. (Chorus) Portraits of war Portraits of war Life's a bloody canvass Tell me what we're dying for? (Verse 3) I put down my notepad Lest I bleed upon the page, Sarge asks me if I'm all right But he's just an actor on a stage, Portraits of war Portraits of war I stare down at my dark countenance Like I've never seen myself before. --- And here's the lines of dialogue I'd originally included, as an intro, but ended up cutting. Might work if voice actors were available? F/x: (sounds of bombs, etc) "What did you do before the war, Sarge?" "Me? I was a Baker. All kinds of buns and tarts. Sold with a smile, lad".
  11. Wow - very nice surprise that my lyric did so well. :) I never quite know what people are looking for when they score in these contests but glad that Portraits of War went down so well. Congrats to Kuya and John as well and thanks to Iggy for running it and to Liam and BlueLewie for your additional participation! For my part, the two lyrics that most stood out were 'Talk is cheap' and 'Summer swallows'.
  12. Great lyric. I think you've made a couple of tweaks based on feedback (impatienc' and we needed savin') that were good calls. I wouldn't change anything else - it's perfect the way it is now
  13. Something that can be worth doing is finding a musician who you rate on the site but who needs lyrics. Have a go at writing some lyrics for their music. Then, if that works out, see if they'll return the favour by working on one of your lyrics that needs music. A bit of work needs to go into cultivating useful working relationships, I think, to make the most of the site. Good luck
  14. Hi, Thanks for your comments. I'm actually quite glad that you initially thought battle scene as I wanted people to have that thought and then have the twist of finding out that the blood and the gore is actually related to child birth. I guess whether it works or just leaves people confused may partly be influenced by the musical arrangement if I can get some musicians to work on it. May try that approach of creating a lyric from some randomly generated words again, as it feels like it's a good way to cover a theme that the writer might not otherwise consider
  15. Another good write, Emily. Nothing to quibble with but just 3 thoughts that occurred to me. The song launches straight into the singer having the conversation with what I presume is her husband/partner and it sounds like the song is starting after some major argument? That's the impression that I get, that they've had an argument and she's trying to tell him how she's feeling and that she knows what he feels towards those human feelings. I wonder is it worth hinting at that context before launching into the 'I always try to get my meds right' line? Secondly, the 'When I’m scattered and splintered / Please keep me whole / From the smoke and the sparks / That burn through my soul' part is really excellent. Presume it would be a bridge with a bit of a change in tone and I think it would sound great when set to music. And, finally, I know that you've said that the genre is alternative but on reading it I keep getting a tinge of country creeping in. Can't claim to be a big listener of country music but, for good or bad, that's what I'm 'hearing' on reading the lyrics!