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kuya

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Everything posted by kuya

  1. kuya

    Tornadoes

    Hey Murph, I think this is very nice. I like the piano riff. Vocals are solid. The real test is the song is still in my head ten minutes later. That's a good sign.
  2. kuya

    Wrote a piano piece.

    Your virtuosity on the piano is humbling to any of us who struggle to bang out the simplest of tunes. The piece you've created holds up well against the classical masters you've obviously studied your entire life. This seven minute piece is played from memory, which astounds me. The music itself is passionate and filled with emotion. Thank you for sharing.
  3. kuya

    pure purple paradise

    Excellent groove! Like the lyric says: Stick with it. You definately got something. Is it too simple? How complicated does it have to be to be good? Nice job!
  4. kuya

    A Toad in b flat

    A Toad in b flat As I was walking down the sidewalk I chanced to glance out in the road All at once my eyes they spied him Ya there he was a fat green toad I said hello how do you do sir And are you traveling very far He winked at me and he just sat there He didn't see the big fast car I saw it all I heard the sound My fat green friend No longer round And as for me I was a mite saddened Because my friend He was quite flattened A car will slow for you and me They yield to us for safety's sake So you and me we are quite lucky A toad can never get a brake A lesson learned so pay attention Be well aware of where you're at You think that you are sitting pretty And then you're gone two seconds flat
  5. kuya

    My Biggest Fan

    Hi Paul, A while back there was a song with the line 'And I'll be the greatest fan of your life' by Edwin McCain. It's still on the radio. However luckily it's not about an appliance.
  6. kuya

    Broken Man

    If Mike's suggestion is right, and I agree with it, then you have to think about what more you want to say. The pov is in pain. Not happy with the progress in his life toward achieving his dreams. Thought he'd be in a different place by now. Looks at the transcience of life and wonders if anyone will have reason to remember him when he's gone. What is his legacy? Is a legacy even important? When did it fall apart? What's the backstory you have in your head? I shouldn't have quit the band. Had it all right in my hand. You blinked and you got old. It would be easy to expound in the verses. Another way of looking at it is the verse length is fine as is but you have two back to back variations of a chorus and you could use one of each. And then repeat one of the two after the bridge. So 4 line alternating choruses, in other words. In that way you could keep the two verses as is.
  7. I also thnk this sounds very nice. After listening to this version of your song I am very curious what your original sounds like. The vocals here sound fine and the music supports the vocals. No negative vibes from me. Life of Pi was a fantastic movie to see up on the big screen. Unforgettable movie. Not knowing at the time how they filmed it made it all the more intense. Your comments about how production can rob a song of its essence are interesting. Production is a learnable skill, or learnable skills. I remember the Beatles were so upset over the (over) production Phil Spector did to what became the Let It Be album. He added orchestra and other things. Most of the Beatles hated it so much that decades later the surviving Beatles re-released it as they would have wanted it done. So it happens to the best of them.
  8. Partridge Family? You have to be kidding yourself.
  9. Micky Shiloah. I knew him back before he was all over the radio. Your vocals weaving in and out so smoothly is really quite impressive. The lyrics are quirky / catchy and with enough naïveté to appeal to teens and twenties but clever enough to make us dinosaurs say damn this guy is good! The beat is hard to resist. I don't know if a comparison to Bruno Mars is the right comparison but I think your talent would be hard for any producer to deny. Micky you have to get this heard. If you were a gofundme project I'd invest. This would be absolutely great as the closing tune on a movie soundtrack. People would stay through the credits just to see who it is. Get yourself heard.
  10. kuya

    There’s No Comparison

    Hello TRS, Rap isn't my forte but you could always throw in some rap historical references, in the chorus, since you already used some other historical references ( clinton's impeachment and the oklahoma city massacre) in the verses. no comparison between you and me when I started (out/ rapping) they were Walk DMC more possible references you could name drop Tupaq and Biggie When biggie was small when Hammer was just a nail when the Medina wasn't cold some reference to (Vanilla) Ice since ICE now is a whole different thing 'when people loved Ice' So far what you got seems pretty good. Sometime if you're interested, there's a great recording of what were then called toasts that are some of the earliest recordings of what would evolve into rap. One of my favorite recordings, and funny as hell. It's called 'Get your ass in the water and swim like me' and it's compiled by Bruce Jackson. Google it. This is rap before there was rap, and these rhymes go back close to a hundred years ago. My favorite track on the recording is called 'to get in outta the rain'. I said it once before and I'll say it once again. If I ever stop by that house again it'll be for one reason only. To get in outta the rain. Ya see, it was raining. I laugh just thinking about it.
  11. kuya

    Man Bun

    Or Your old lady digs it!
  12. kuya

    Rhetorical Questions

    I like this! TBH I can only understand bits and pieces of the vocals, but it doesn't matter, because it all seems to work. Minimalist guitar played for maximum effect! Your accent is pretty cool too. nice job.
  13. kuya

    August Lyrics Contest

    Hello A Musical Key I also suffer from submit-itus. I think just knowing there's a contest coming up again in about ten days creates for me a sense of urgency to be in the mix by participating. I generally have at least a dozen lyrics that are in various stages of development and maybe another dozen or so that might be no more than a line or a title or idea. I think of these all as the boneyard. I wander around in the boneyard -not every day- but as often as I'm in the mood and I try to look at as many as I can to see if I have anything to add. I might make a couple changes or additions to one and then move on to the next. This one here -you got the wheel- i made no changes to for a month or more, so i figured it was done. Knowing there's a contest coming up makes me try to focus on one or two to get them presentable. The contest imposes that little bit of discipline to have at least one good to go. So in that sense the contests help. Others seem to agree. Yours wasn't bad. A fifteen point spread is actually fairly tight. It's tough getting all 4 lines of a verse to share the same rhyme without it looking forced. The simple idea or theme you used is relatable and made the pov sympathetic.
  14. Ok Dan, I suspected it mght be agent orange related, but the tenses threw me a little in your lyric. Vietnam exports a lot of rice too, so many unsuspecting people may be exposed. It's bad enough those poor kids in VietNam.
  15. kuya

    Home is You

    Speakng of Burl Ives, they're already playing Christmas music where I live.
  16. kuya

    August Lyrics Contest

    I thought it was pretty clever, Fab. Right on target.
  17. I like this. It sounds interesting. Maybe I'm too tired but the rainbows idea is a little over my head tonight.
  18. kuya

    Underwater

    Hi SW, I think the word DIVE should be used as the transition word each time before underwater. As in so I dive (or a variation.) So i dive underwater. Thats the key to your piece of mind. And thats the transition word in the lyric. Thats the transition phrase from above the waterline where there is turmoil to below the waterline where there is peace. The music would also change there from fast paced to serene. That's all I got.
  19. kuya

    Home is You

    It sounds very nice! Might I say, homey even! Don't forget though. We are in lyrics feedback so my previous comments were lyrics feedback
  20. kuya

    Home is You

    Hi Patty I purposely haven't listened yet. This was one of my top picks in the contest. I thought it might have been just a tad stronger if the final idea (home is where your loved ones are) was a more constant theme throughout as opposed to a variable definition of home. Recently, my wife and son were living on the opposite side of the world from me for more than a year, while I sold our 'home' and finished up work. very quickly I thought of home as where they were and not so much as a particular building or city or town or even country. Home is where the heart is has already been done, I know, but that is still the basic idea that I felt personally and the basic idea you are saying here too, very well, I might add. Home is really a feeling more so than a dwelling. So I definitely got the message here. It resonated with me, and I had planned to do a home song with the same basic idas you have here eventually. A few home songs have done very well on the airwaves lately too. It is a subject with universal appeal. I noticed that with the exception of verse 1 every last line of each section V, Pc and Ch all contain a variable definition of home. Is that a good thing? Or too much of a good thing? I don't know.
  21. kuya

    Favorite Things

    I reversed the last two lines of each section and made a couple other minor changes. Favorite Things Short skirts Tight blouse High heels Thats what im talking about Make up Lip stick Long legs That makes my heart beat quick Great sex No strings These are a few of MY favorite things Don't give a damn what Julie Andrews sings Nail polish Manicured Soft skin then she whispers the word Layin' back Sharin' a smoke Swallows her gum And then she takes a toke Great sex No strings These are a few of MY favorite things Don't give a damn what Julie Andrews sings Fishnets Firm thighs An ass So nice it makes you wanna cry Pierced navel Wide hips Cleared to taxi On her Landing strip Great sex No strings These are a few of MY favorite things Don't give a damn what Julie Andrews sings Original Post below with advance apologies to everyone for the sexist attitude and vulgar language. my take on a zz topp song lyric edits Sep 5 Favorite Things Short skirts Tight blouse High heels Thats what im talking about Make up Lip stick Long legs That makes my heart beat quick Great sex No strings Who gives a fuck damn what Julie Andrews sings These are a few of MY favorite things Nail polish Manicured Soft skin then she whispers the word Layin' back Sharin' a smoke Swallows gum And then she takes a toke Great sex No strings Who gives a fuck damn what Julie Andrews sings These are a few of MY favorite things Fishnets Firm thighs An ass So nice it makes you wanna cry Pierced navel Wide hips Cleared to taxi On her Landing strip Great sex No strings Don't give a fuck damn what Julie Andrews sings These are a few of MY favorite things
  22. kuya

    Favorite Things

    Pillar of virtue? I was thinking of Lazz as more of a telamon, but with the added distinction of carrying a torch for that caryatid of virtue Julie Andrews
  23. Hello I think this is both interesting and nice. I also agree the ooh hoos seem a little too prominent in the mix. To answer your question, I think you're makng good music.
  24. kuya

    Last train outta here

    Hi Will, I'm looking at three 3 line verses. If you look at them closely they say miss you, see you soon, and can't wait. The verses are not telling much of a story. You're relying an awful lot on the bridges and chorus to tell the story when that's the verses job. but even with 2 bridges that are the exact same thing and 3 choruses there's still not much story. The bridges seem to weaken and confuse the story. The verses and chorus are about how much you can't wait to see her and you gotta see her and then your bridges are about " ah maybe i shouldn't" ??? Look at it this way. What reasons does a reader/listener have to care about this guy and whether he ever catches that train if even he doesn't seem too sure he wants to catch it? What do we know about the guy? Zip. The girl? Zip. Why they are apart ? Zip. For that matter why he's so afraid to go after a girl he has the hots for? Zip. I'm not suggesting you write some boigraphical lyric with every little detail filled in (I hate those) but your job is to make us care enough to emotionally invest in the story. Right now Will there is a collaboration contest underway. The theme is all about emotional impact. I suggest you (and everyone) follow the contest and notice the finer points of the contest rules and observe how others succeed or not succeed so much in evoking identifiable emotions in the rest of us. It's going to be quite interesting. These writers have a task. I wrote a train song a while back. [Train Whistle Blues] People absolutely love train songs. It's always a good choice. One guy here a while back claimed a train song called the 'City of New Orleans' by Arlo Guthrie was the greatest song ever written--better than everything ever written on this site COMBINED! That's how much people like train songs. you know your POV (point of view--the eyes that we see the story through) inside and out. You probably have some back story in your head. Why did she leave? Did she leave? Or did he? Who screwed up? Was there a big fight? Argument? Police involvement? Any kids involved? Any cheating parties in the relationship. What has kept the guy from her? Jail? Job? Another woman? Off in a war? Give us some more hint of a story to grab our interest more. Most of a great song lyric is in the edits. Looking forward to more edits, and when you do post the edits keep the original up too so we can see the changes. Keep at it Will. It's worth the effort. Hope this helps.
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