Jump to content


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


kuya last won the day on June 20

kuya had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

66 Excellent


About kuya

  • Rank
    Inspirational Muse

Contact Methods

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Skype

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    adirondack mountains of new york
  • Interests
    travel, politics, brewing, music, gardening, creating

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    lyracist mostly. i play many instruments, but none well.
  • Musical Influences?
    the old blues guys and the modern rockers who emulated them
  1. By the Time the Rumour Got to Me

    Hello Paul, I had to look up pernickety to see if it was the same as persnickety--just a variation in spelling/ pronunciation. I like this and get what you're going for. I noticed that you're going from a date to love awful fast in the lyric. She'd be great to date but suddenly you hear she doesn't love you. That struck me. It could be she didn't want you, and it was already love (at first sight?) on your part. something to look at, and possibly tweak. I particularly like the chorus. I, like, the, pauses. I can hear you one-noting it with each pause on the piano. Well done. It's classic styling--for my ears anyway.
  2. She go to the show

    Hi, With the right music this might be considered perfect as is, but all we have to go on is what's in front of us. On paper it seems long, but you've already heard it set to music once, so it's probably not too long. The poor grammar didn't bother me, but this was up against some tough competition in the contest. The image I wanted to see was her burning the guy's shirt as her way of letting go. You already have the fire imagery. If that happened (she burns his shirt) it could be done in a quick line or two as a climax to the long build-up. As always, refer to the caveat below regarding taking any advice from me.
  3. Angler Merkel

    Sorry, I wasn't trying to open up a can of worms; and here- this coming from the guy who wrote "I tell them I love fishing".
  4. Angler Merkel

    Thanks. So what does the reference to not swallowing the bait on open borders mean then? That's what confused me.
  5. Angler Merkel

    Very clever, but isn't she in favor of EU open borders? I'm on the othe side of the pond but I thought she was all for all the refugees overrunning Europe. Easy fix if I'm correct.
  6. Judging Lyrics

    Hello, Barney thank you for the kind review of "Getting Old Blues". I didn't think it was bad but it gave me trouble right up to the very last minute. As for your observations on voting: In the relatively brief time I've been here I have been able to see some obvious trends that make perfect sense to me. In any given month participants (voters) are scattered from many parts of the world and across a varied age demographic too. The voters' tastes in music probably has some overlap and this is of course the sweet spot to aim for. It stands to reason that the more accessible lyrics do better, in general, than niche lyrics, such as metal, blues or rap. (To my way of thinking anyway) Neal has a much better perspective on this than my own brief observations. I also think that positive lyrics ( positive outlook / happy) such as my own 'here on vacation' do better (in general) than what I would describe as negative nasty or even raunchy ones such as 3 of mine: Ballad of my exwife, it sucks to be you, and getting old blues-- 3 of mine that placed toward the middle of voting. I tried to soften them up with a sense of humor but they're still not something to sing along with your ten year old. However some sad ( as opposed to negative) themes such as war or man's inhumanity to man do well if they evoke the right chord of empathy for the injured. The true wordsmiths here do better consistently than the meat and potatoes guys like me, but the real wordsmiths are generally careful to choose topics that attract a wide audience, which is one of the criteria we voters use in judging the potential of a lyric. I noticed one last thing about voting. We all stand a much better chance when Iggy has no entry. His level of consistency is up there. Hehe
  7. Girl, Don't Do It

    Ok, how about V1, L4, add the word too? "I, too, had an affair"
  8. Girl, Don't Do It

    Hello again. Hmmm, I understand now the cause of Barney's confusion as to the beginning 2 verses. What if Verse 2, Line 1 started with "I'm telling you this secret" then there would be no confusion, or at least less? I sort of had a mental picture of two long time friends and confidents talking over lunch. The one girl is unhappy and bored and shares her intentions to cheat to her friend who has been there before. The lyric is the answer from the woman who has already been there. It's all one person trying to convince her friend not to make the same mistake she had. You know, Peko, maybe this sort of lyric is out of fashion by some, using today's standards. You'd be more likely to hear someone cheating and bragging about it or at least justifying it nowadays than to ever hear someone warning "don't do it". Or even more likely, the scorned spouse/gf reacting to a cheating lover by shooting him dead or destroying his car, ala Miranda Lambert or Carrie Underwood. For me it's timeless.
  9. Girl, Don't Do It

    Hi Peko, This lyric was tied for my top pick. I thought it was well written and focused and straight forward. No ambiguity. By the way, I think you're a very good lyric writer. I'll be curious to hear others' feedback because I liked what I saw. You're a contender every month now.
  10. The War revised 9-10

    Plato once said something absolutely profound on this subject in only 8 words: "only the dead have seen their last war." Your chorus needs to grab our attention and cause us to ponder. What you have so far isn't quite there yet, Mike. By the way, Plato's copyright has probably expired.
  11. August Lyrics Competition

    Congratulations to Greybeard Eric and Paul! My personal Top Two were Girl, Don't Do It, and After All These Years, with Paul and Greybeard's close behind. Wonderful to see 5 non participants voting. Thanks for the time and attention to our efforts. And thanks as always to Iggy. I have nothing close to completion now, with so many other distractions, but these deadlines motivate me to get something done, regardless. I enjoy the good natured competition. The quality of the overall writing here further motivates me to keep tweaking and editing. So thanks for the collective push, all.
  12. The Matador

    Hi Jack, I tend to agree with Bob in general here. I think the obeyed line could be rewritten using 'persuade.' As far as the heroic matador, clearly he is seen in that light by legions of fans or else they wouldn't need to build such huge arenas to hold the spectators. And just as lots of NASCAR fans watch, hoping to see huge crashes, so too do some bullfighting fans hope to see some gore. I myself enjoy cock fights. No apologies. They even make a dish that translates into 'defeated rooster stew'. My brother in law gets kidded that he takes better care of his cocks than his kids. His answer is that at least his cocks are earning money. You paint a nice picture here Jack. ( actually 2 nice pictures) But your focus wanders and from my POV you really have 2 lyrics here. You start out with the guy drinking tequila in the cantina with the sounds of old mexico. But then the matador hijacks the song and we only hear a little more about the guy in the bar. Or is it the matador lyric starts out with a first verse that doesn't belong to it. The matador doesn't know or care about the guy in the bar. So i would split the lyric up. Lets start with the matador. Hmmm. Humanize him maybe. What's he thinking? He's old and he wonders how long can he keep doing it but bull fighting is his entire persona, so he decides he wants to go out in a blaze of glory in the ring fighting ' el diablo' the meanest bull he's ever seen. It would make a hell of a story and half the audience would be rooting for him to have a gory death, as evidenced here. But let him show supreme respect for the bull too. Read a little hemingway's bull fighting stories maybe for insight. A matador deserves an interesting story that you can paint about him. Sights sounds smells. Now for the cantina guy. Hmmm. Reminds me a little of last night by the traveling wilburys. What will his story be? Something that plays against cliche. Maybe some old ugly waitress can flash her tits for tips and he leaves a big tip anyway because there's so many kids that must be hers. Or some locals walk in and see him drooling over the singer and he barely escapes with his life. Who knows? Or he falls in love with the singer but it's all a dream and he's still in peoria. I'd say split this up to tighten the focus one direction or other. As always, please see the caveat below about taking any of my advice.
  13. Pandora's Box Is Empty

    Hi John, When Pandora's box is opened, lots of unforeseen consequences can happen. Bad stuff happens when it's opened, not empty. That's what I think of with Pandora's box. So your repeated line that it's 'empty' seems to contradict all the bad stuff your lyric is about. There's a lot to like here. You cover a lot of territory here, perhaps more than necessary? My 2 cents.
  14. I Heart my Psycho Girlfriend

    When it's sung it will be mistaken for "I hurt my psycho girlfriend"
  15. I'm Just A Poor Boy

    Hi silver beat. I listened to this and i liked it. The lyrics on paper didn't grab me that much but when i heard it sung they worked. Good job