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kuya last won the day on May 8

kuya had the most liked content!

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26 Excellent

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About kuya

  • Rank
    Inspirational Muse
  • Birthday

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    adirondack mountains of new york
  • Interests
    travel, politics, brewing, music, gardening, creating

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    lyracist mostly. i play many instruments, but none well.
  • Musical Influences?
    the old blues guys and the modern rockers who emulated them
  1. Thank you Joe. I corrected verse 3 per your suggestion. As to who if anyone out there would sing something like this, The only person who comes to mind is the late John Lennon. Not that i think my stuff is up to his standard- not at all. He would have written his own better stuff. But He had the courage to say things fearlessly. In my humble opinion, if john lennon had not been killed in 1980, i am convinced he would have been eventually assassinated by muslim terrorists because he certainly would have been outspoken about the world trade center attacks and these other attacks since then. He would not have been able to remain quiet. He would therefore have been targeted. We could use some more of his courage to speak the truth today. Hirsi ali is a remarkable woman. I hope she lives a long life. Thanks Joe.
  2. No Emily i don't know your POV. That was presumptuous of me. I'm certainly not going to dumb down a lyric. Requisites? Quite frankly if people are so in denial about one of the most pressing issues of our time that they can't be bothered to try to understand why it is happening then nothing written here will help them. Didactic? Noone has ever accused me of moralizing. Killing innocent kids is perfectly ok for some people. But as a father i can't quite bring myself to say to each his own. I once met a little boy who was 10 years old when he was later blown up in the repairshop in the front of his home. He was a neighbor of my then gf. They found parts of him in nearby trees and other parts on the roof. His sister died in the living room. He was the wrong religion. An acquaintence of mine escaped on 9/11 by climbing over dozens and dozens of trampled bodies of his coworkers on the stairs. There's some nasty business going on out there Emily. But others see it differently.
  3. Hi Emily, Thank you for commenting. If you are thinking it then I'm sure many others are also. There are many definitions of cult. Generally speaking though, a group that demands strict obedience, no dissent, and in which nobody can quit the group upon penalty of death is something i consider to be a cult. You are correct in that there is plenty of condemnation -- in the west. Not so much in other select areas. The politicians hoping to appease reference applies to those politicians who are afraid to even use accurate terminology to describe what is driving this surge in violence. Or to even acknowledge that unrestricted immigration is adding to the danger for those of us in the west. Merkel. Obama. HRC. I don't know if you have ever reviewed any of the Pew Research polls where muslims have been surveyed in muslim majority nations for their views on suicide bombers and terrorism in general and whether it is ever justified to commit the Manchester type of violence. Also these surveys are done in usa sometimes. A surprisingly large minority of the muslims in the world and even in the USA (upwards of 100 million people) feel that this type of atrocity is acceptable, if not always, then at least sometimes. If you're not familiar, you might find the information interesting if not absolutely alarming. I also don't know if you've ever read any of Hirsi's books. She was a friend and collaborator of Theo Van Gogh who was brutally murdered a few years back for attempting to open a dialogue. Her books are worth the read. Heretic and Infidel are 2 titles of hers. You are being very polite with me in discussing a POV that you don't share. Our POVs are different on this subject. A religion that demands death to anyone who disagrees or opposes its objectives ( a worldwide caliphate) is, to me, extremely dangerous. That is the eyes wide open POV expressed in this lyric.
  4. Thank you both for the feedback. Barney i tried but couldn't work a dog into this one. Capitalizing people is just poor editing on my part. I use a taped-together iPad and it shows sometimes. I started edits as you suggested Barney. The deep and down reference was my attempt to say he was very down financially and emotionally and self-image- wise. The shadows reference was to hide him from most people's notice and imply he was in a dark place emotionally. No one left to care meant to me that he had burned all of his bridges. No next of kin. No support group. (In his addled mind at least)
  5. Hi Jack, There's lots i like here. But don't mind me for asking... whats a shiny door all about? To me its a throwaway reference that doesn't advance anything. Is there anything better to use there? How is memory a hummingbird? Same reaction as above. The password line just dropped in there matter of factly--- i like. First chorus is Ok. I might tweak it to match the flow i hear in my head but you must hear something i don't. Last line of the chorus just dropped in there matter of factly-- i like. I'm seeing 2 different verses, 2 different choruses, and 2 different bridges, and the hook is (much to my disappointment) only used twice. I'll defer to the musicians here regarding 2 different bridges and 2 different choruses. But the only common thread is 5 words repeated twice. If you have a good hook why use it so sparingly? My 2 cents. Lift a hand to me implies violence. My first impression. Wave her hand? To me the ideas in the second bridge should preceed those in verse 2. Its out of sync chronologically. You're well on your way here to a very memorable lyric.
  6. I Will Not Submit Little girls enjoyed the show. They're little girls. They didn't know. That harmless fun is now forbidden. And female faces must be hidden. Our lives must change. Our freedoms cease. CH As we submit to the cult of peace. But i will not submit. Too many people fought too hard For the freedoms I'm left here to guard. So i will not submit. And if it comes to them or me I will live my life...... free Because I will not submit. The politicians on their knees Hoping to somehow appease This misogynistic cult of hate Planning worldwide caliphate. CH Don't talk too loud or they might hear Accommodate them out of fear It's blasphemy to criticize And those who do pay with their lives. CH
  7. RZ, Hello again. By far the toughest thing is posting your first lyric here, not knowing what to expect. But you got over that hurdle. I agree frown is not the word you want here. Something about grim display as used strikes me as off too. Its not an easy subject to wrap a lyric around. Why will you sing? The only reason i ask is to prod you into developing this idea just a little more. Or not! Wolfeman is right, you have a good lyric in progress expressing a defiant attitude. Maybe the call me verse could be more focused on a father just needing to know his kid is ok that day and not call me sometime before i die of old age. That would make sense and tighten the focus. When you're not sure if your kid is ok then there is absolutely nothing more important in the world than finding out. Keep at it. Keep writing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
  8. I posted this in the Artist Cafe in January and kind of forgot about it until i got some feedback lately. I revised some areas i wasn't happy with. I realize anything remotely religious here makes some people squeemish, but the good news for the agnostics/ atheists is that the POV is having his doubts. Down here in the shadows. Revised 5/26 Most People pass right by me, they don't even see my face. I prob'ly stink. my clothes are dirty. I've all but left the human race. Sometimes strangers offer money. they don't ever get too close. Some say they'll pray for my salvation; That's the line I hate the most. I'm down, down, down, down, down so low. Down here in the shadows, 'bout as deep as you can go. all alone. ain't a thing, makes life worth living for. Take me if you're up there. can't take it here no more. Take me now i'm ready. Don't you hear me lord? I've given up. I'm beaten down. I'm more animal than man. Before I used to be somebody, now I'm sleeping where I can. I go through my life unnoticed, Like a fly up on the wall . now I'm going through the dumpsters, But I used to have it all. I'm down, down, down, down, down so low. Down here in the shadows, 'bout as deep as you can go. all alone. Ain't a thing, makes life worth living for. Take me if you're up there. can't take it here no more. Take me now I'm ready. Won't you hear me lord? I am sick. I'm discouraged. There ain't nothin' more to lose. I Lost my friends. I'm written off. They just blame it on the booze. When they finally find my body When the rats have had their share. I'll be just another John Doe No one much is gonna care. I'm down, down, down, down, down so low. Way down here in the shadows, 'bout as deep as you can go. all alone, ain't a thing, makes life worth living for. Take me if you're up there. can't take it here no more. Take me home, i'm ready. Can't you hear me lord?
  9. Well Mr. Wolfe, If this was written before what happened last night, then you must be clairvoyant. I hope your countrymen know that the entire world mourns with you. Your lyric is an absolutely beautiful tribute. Your writing style is so much different than mine that often i cannot offer much in the way of constructive review, but i think this will be remembered as one of your finest.
  10. Very nice Axl. I had to reread this because at first i was caught off guard with the line: I was flying high on hope. You have an interesting way of writing. On a day like today, when it's easier to focus on the things that separate us as people, the themes of your lyric remind me of commonalities that are universal, such as Loneliness and hope. I hope you write more, and please consider putting your work in the feedback section because there are some talented people that can offer valuable insights and suggestions. Write more.
  11. Thank you both for your thoughts and comments. Tams i was unaware you had left a message. Apologies for the late response. I haven't looked at this since i posted it but i will now. Thanks. The chorus was the least thought-out part of this. I agree.
  12. Hey good lookin' what ya got cookin' how's about cookin somethin' up with me. I think that was Hank's. His songs are classic.
  13. Major Nit here. Fragile? Perhaps she's agile, but fragility is not the correct attribute i think you're grasping for-- pun intended. All in all not bad Paul. In the last week i've heard two different versions of autumn leaves, one of my favorites.
  14. Nice job Dino, The primary challenge was to match the new lyric with the music, and admitidly i (contestent 1) did the worst job on that aspect. Both 2 and 3 were a much closer fit, so congrats to both Musical Key and Spanish Buddha for pulling it off. I too was surprised how underutilized the words before yesterday were in the original lyric. I counted them afterwards thinking we had all underused those words only to realize bandmaid barely said them compared to us.
  15. Bravo! Well done! You found a way to do this without getting nasty, personal or hysterical, which I admire. Interestingly he hasn't probably been on a bus his entire life. Said the banjo player: Big fuss 'bout a bus what about rest of us?