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About BigHappyJack

  • Rank
    Inspirational Muse

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Illinois, USA
  • Interests
    Lyrics, sandwiches, coffee

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  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    American Roots

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  1. The Matador

    I had this up once before. I've been working on it but something just doesn't feel right and I can't put my finger on it. Suggestions please. The Matador v The sun bakes the street; the street bakes the air so we find a cantina with shade. The young singer lures me with words i don’t know but a tune that must be obeyed. The sweet, tender cactus; the salt on your lips the laughter of children below. We sweat in the darkness and drink what we have in the shadows of old Mexico. c And who’s that heroic Matador? Down in the dust, he stands as they roar, Flashing his cape and waving his hat, They can’t make them braver than that. b “O-yeah!” they cried from either side; “O-yeah, O-yeah, O-yeah!” There were chants of “Campeón!” you could hear from far away. The early stars in azure skies added their display. “Tequila para mis amigos! O-yeah, O-yeah, O-yeah!” v In the lengthening shadows of the Plaza del Toros in the city of Old Monterey. To retell the story of the one they have seen, the crowd slowly melted away. The sun is less close and the night is less far and I’m blistered in more ways than one. In a dusty sombrero I’m a brave Pistolero who left home without his gun. c And who’s that courageous Matador? Down in the dust, he stands as they roar, Both he and the bull as an armed acrobat They can’t make them braver than that.
  2. Pandora's Box Is Empty

    I have a sore spot for preachy songs; telling us how terrible the world is. Kinda turns me off. Also so many contrived rhymes took me out of an organic flow. Just my opinion.
  3. Hello Piano

    Hey Paul, Pretty nice piece. I got it right away. Fairly smooth and concise. A few little bumps, a few words that could go, but overall very nice. Always happy to read your stuff.
  4. Your Barking Up the Right Tree

    I've always heard it as barking up the WRONG tree. I get that you could come at it from a different angle, but I just never got over it. After all, is this person really barking at all (not literally) but are they really as locked onto the chase as you are? It's assuming that the object of your affection (stalking?) is as interested in a resolution as you are. I understood what you were trying to say, but it felt a little awkward to me. Too many lines seeded to come out of left field for my taste. Behind the curve? Murphy's law? I guess I would have liked it a little less specific and a little more general so others could get involved.
  5. High Water

    Thanks Paul. I like the suggestion on the hook. The third verse change was on purpose. I was worried about going to the well too often. You think I could get away with it?
  6. High Water

    Still has that new song smell. v If I was meant to be a movie star then I guess it all fell through. If I was meant to be a millionaire I’d have a dollar or two. If I was meant to be a PHD I wouldn’t have skipped that class If I was meant to be an astronaut I’d get up off my ass v If I was meant to live in Timbuktu then I could find it on a globe If I was meant to be a modest man then they’d make a bigger robe. If I was meant to be a daredevil; I’d live near Niagara Falls If I was meant to be a juggling star then I’d need to find some balls c They say the water’s never been this high. Take my hand and we’ll search dry land for a milkweed butterfly. We’ll ask her how the weather looks today, And she may know, but she won’t say. v If I’m supposed the give the answers, girl, then I promise it’s a guess. If I’m supposed to organize anything; I make three times the mess. Just leave me be in my good chair, I’m great just where I’m at. If you truly must do something; then bring me back a hat. c They say the water’s never been this high. I found a tree where you and me can stretch out and get high. You’ll wonder which old strategy I might play, And I may know, but I won’t say.
  7. The bees by the flowers on st Anne's square

    It sounds like you're getting plenty of praise from the others. Personally, I find this type of opportunistic preaching trite and tiring. Every time an event like this happens someone pops up with one of these offerings. Kind of a "click bait" tome that's always way over the top and full of sentimental buttons. Not my cup of tea.
  8. Hot Russian Women (rewrite)

    I think this is a good topic for a song. The possibilities are endless for poking fun at the ads. I think you just sort of listed them when you could have taken a different tack. I would have liked to see more surprises in the lyrics. I don't give examples because I don't want to write your song; but there are lots of places (to me) where instead of coming straight ahead at the target, you could have come around from the side and I would have enjoyed the trip a lot more. Also, just saying these things are worthless to you is a little specific. What do you need? What kind of ads would get you to click? What ridiculous ad would be perfect for you? That might be funny.
  9. Empty Can

    Been rubbing the polishing cloth all over this one. Where did I miss?? Empty Can v She was a young beauty with wavy black hair And I watched her from afar. I never told her just how much I cared. “I loved you” - wherever you are. v I was watching this bee the other day, A plump, yellow bumbler in flight. I asked him his name but he flew away And I dreamed of him all through that night. c Pumping my gas when it’s fifteen below You could fill up a bucket with things I don’t know But time is money and I’ve got to go It’s like shaking an empty can. v I sat on an old stoop the other day; The concrete was cold and flat. I thought about when I get to that age. Will I be as solid as that? v I hope at the end that they don’t give a test Unless I can get by on charm. And I will not promise that I did my best, But little intentional harm. c Sorry, young lady, for making a mess And I’m just in this bar out of habit, I guess, I sit on the stool with my chin in my chest And spin an empty can.
  10. It's Always the Same

    Look, don't listen to these Bozo's. This rocked. The verses rap. The chorus could soar. I can really hear this in my head and it sounds like a great song. Sure a word here or there could evolve, but I got this right away and I liked it. Very modern. Very POP. I can see the video and the dancers. Nice.
  11. The sorrow echo / I wish it was not so

    I think it makes a nice poem. I had a hard time finding music in my head. It is quite a downer. Personally, I don't find pleasure in this genre. A bit preachy. Just my opinion.
  12. To Mary, All My Love .. revised

    I've taken full advantage of the forum. Great suggestions, many incorporated. Much polish applied. What do you think? To Mary, All My Love V You already know my story We’ve all been there before A beating young heart makes an insecure start And opens a shiny door But a memory is a hummingbird That too often volunteers Her name has been my password For the past fifteen years C I daydream of her when starlings fly And when I see pink in the late evening skies We were young, too young for such harsh goodbyes To Mary, all my love B We imagined forever and ever and ever like children We cursed the two-faced world that was keeping us down We counted the stars but finally stopped at ten million We drove every car and owned every big house in town V I have no idea where she is Or how she’s getting on But I swear that I can feel her hair When that certain song comes on I can see her walking in my house She might lift a hand to me I put on some music when I’m alone And dance with a memory B Lost in the middle of little illusions we wandered Touching our lips in the way that the movie stars do Looking around, we noticed the world was unconquered If we had a plan we could make all our wishes come true C I dream of her when I drive down that street Or find myself in a small back seat When I can plainly make out my own heartbeat To Mary, all my love
  13. To Mary, All My Love ...

    Thank you all for the good feedback. I think I will rewrite the first verse and split the chorus in two. I can always count on you guys. Thanks.
  14. Basketful of Memories

    I feel this is more poem than lyric. It's nice as a poem but rather sparse as a lyric. But hey, it's your art, not mine.