Joey M

Hey Paul. Looking over some of the comments so far, I see some good points made. But I'd keep this simple for the music I'm expecting as I read (classic country?), and your delivery I'm familiar with. But you might punch it up here and there. As far as too preachy goes...I don't think it is. Here are just some more ideas to kick around. Don't know if I can be of much help to someone so accomplished who has been my mentor since I joined the forum. But I'll stick my neck out anyway. {intro} I get a little braver every time I put my reputation on the line...Nice, using the hook as an intro. Very effective. {vs} It was a rainy day in my youth Makin' my way home from school When the bully of my class..............you know what I mean, the proverbial class bully Jumped right out into my path.........just another phrasing possibility He said "Before you go this way" "There's a toll you have to pay!"..........I think this is simpler and stronger I was shakin' from head to toe...........another way to say it....maybe this is the usual way it is said And prayin' that it wouldn't show I gathered all the strength I could find And looked that coward straight in the eye..........IMO bullies are really a breed of coward. Anyway, maybe thinking of him as a coward would help build your courage. Drew back my fist, got ready to fight But he ran away - much to my delight!............... {pre} It was a lesson I'd carry thru life...............or something along these lines.....since you have already learned the lesson by this point in the song {ch} I get a little braver every time I put my reputation on the line Think I'm gonna waver but I do just fine And get a little braver every time............eliminating some the I's might make it flow better I was climbin' up the corporate rungs Had a boss who was a virtual thug Fond of using racial slurs Called him on it and he showed me the door........think I like this wording better, for what it's worth But I'd do it again just like before.. ...............another way to say it, dunno which is better until I hear it sung Because.. Ch So if you've got a mountain to scale................I prefer "if". Don't ask me why. And you're thinkin' you're just too frail.............."."fragile" and "frail" are awfully close in meaning. This seems cleaner and stronger to me. Put your worries and fears aside....................I prefer "aside" And recite this little rhyme in your mind............."this" seems more forceful than "my"...it's not just you're rhyme. It's a song, so it's everyone's rhyme at this point. (I'll sing it to you one more time..) You get a little braver every time You put your reputation on the line You'll think you're gonna waver but you'll do just fine And you'll get a little braver every time...................small correction, cus you've got it this way (you'll) in the last line of the song You'll think you're gonna waver But YOU'LL DO JUST FINE!! And you'll get a little braver every time Paul, I hope you find something here helpful. I think this is a solid theme with a moral to it.....good for country. Nice write as usual. Joey PS: Just a thought. Maybe a five word title would be even more fetching: A Little Braver Every Time

Perfect! You've got everything working together....lyrics, dynamics, composition, arrangement and your super fine vocal delivery. Great theme with allot of nice imagery....love the way it all fits together to paint a picture. Interesting that you named it the first line in the song instead of Never Be The One You Love......nothing wrong with that IMHO. Above all, I think it's a wonderful composition. Joey

Hi Margaret.....and welcome aboard. I really appreciate your reviewing my song, and glad you like it. I had allot of fun doing one with such a simple chord pattern. I wondered about writing a lyric that portrays the singer as such a cad, but thought it would be interesting to create an opportunity to have his gal give him a piece of her mind. Joey

Yea, that change to V1 makes it sooo much better......"his girl". Amazing what a slight change can do......especially when it clarifies and also adds even more attitude as this does. Good call!

Thanks David. I made changes to the recording along the lines of your suggestions. I've also done a new, and hopefully better, V2 and PC2. I really appreciate your reviewing and the advice you gave me. Joey

Looking for feedback on this tune. There are only three chords in this one....all of them major (I, IV & V). I know the recording needs some work......just want to know if the melody/lyrics/grove work OK before I proceed. Any input will be greatly appreciated. Stringin’ Her Along She doesn’t think that her heart can take it Doesn’t know if our love will make it She said you’ll never be faithful you’re not that kind of man And I don’t believe a thing you told me Everything’s the same ol’ story Used to trust you, my lover and my best friend Ch I told her sorry, I regret the lies that I told when we were lying in bed She said, I can’t forgive you all the things you’ve done Because I used to think the world spun around us Now I can see thru your lies, you’re not a love I can trust Thought I knew you, you said I was the only one She’s realized I’m jus’ stringin’ her along I told her lets just forget about her Thought our love was the thing that mattered She said, yeah, but my heart says you’re gonna cheat again Now you’re telling me you won’t romance her But I can read between your answers So I’m leavin’ before you fool around again Ch No she won’t believe a thing I tell her Now she reads between my answers So she’s leavin’ before I fool around again Cus she’s realized I’m jus’ stringin’ her along Now she’s realized I’m jus’ stringin’ And I’ve realized I’m jus’ stringin’ So we’ve realized I’m jus’ stringin’ her along Copyright 2017 ~ J. W. McMichael

Hi Mike. My songs always start out way more ragged than yours. And you also tackle much harder subjects.......message/protest songs. I haven't pulled one off yet....so I can't offer much help. But I can say that I see the makings of a fine song in this. Ya gotta get your thoughts out first then pull them into focus. And no one does that any better than you. I'm banking on you to find the words that hit hard....like you do so well. I'm glad you put them out there in rough form so I can watch your process.....and learn from you. Good luck with this one.

Thanks Paul. I usually have to rewrite my second verses. Just seem to run out of steam after the chorus. But once I'm prodded enough by someone who is also positive about the overall song, I buckle down and come up with a better verse. I'm gonna do just that. You're an inspiration!

Wow Clint. This coming from someone so talented as you is really encouraging. Sometimes I think I'm dead ending when I listen to more modern singers/writers. One thing for sure, though......I can't stay away from the music very long before I go into withdrawals. So I'll keep writing, singing, playing and trying to learn how to record. I'm truly in awe of the spirit in your songs and the way you render them. I'm soooo flattered. Joey

I love it too! I can't find one flaw....just found myself on the highway and never thought of a problem with the lyric or music. That's cus there isn't any problem. Really fine work. Great recording too. A+ Joey

Yes, the piano and strings are great. I love the lyric.....wish the vocal was a little more on top of the music. Maybe just a slight tweak in the mix. Maybe not real important....but you have a wonderful voice that I would love to hear better. I would have a little trouble with the enunciation if I weren't reading the lyric as I listen. That's probably just be the mix. I do think the B section needs a little work for differentiation. Although there's a simplicity and continuity that I find restful, contrast may be a better idea. Heartfelt and different. Very nice.

You've already got some good sugs that I wouldn't have thought of. I like the theme and the way you've handled it. There's something refreshing about the perspective.....looking into the past, a remembrance, albeit an ugly one. The title caught my eye. I thought, what on Earth is this one about. It didn't disappoint. Love the word "ramshackle". It's just loaded with imagery all by itself. Might need a little tweaking rhyme-wise.....or maybe not? It looks singable to me. And it has an interesting flavor for musical interpretation. Really enjoyed the read. Nice job as usual.

Hi Bob.....had to check this out. I love a fun song, who doesn't. I agree...it's all singable. There's lots of young stuff in this I'm not real familiar with....but this is fine writing. I knda like that some of the vernacular is out of my time. It still makes for a good read. Well crafted as usual. I'd like to hear it and will watch for it in the songs section.

Yes I agree....you have a way with words, that's for sure. It's allot harder when you're assigned a theme like nursery rhyme. I can't even begin to face those kinds of challenges. I have to hang loose or just get all frustrated in doing something I'm not feeling. But real writers can rise above. Paul gave you some good advice. I'm going to give you a little more advice.....take the advice of the fine writers on the forum very seriously. They're not always right....but their suggestions are always insightful building blocks to becoming skilled at the craft. I'm going to enjoy watching you hone your skills to match your obvious talent. This is far better than I would have done given the theme. Just keep writing....you're well on the road to success! Joey

You have all the sugs you probably need. So I'll digress a little. I was just waxing introspective, pondering what I'm trying to do writing songs. They're often more personal than universal.....something I'm trying to overcome. Maybe I could say something important sometime. Not so much important to me as to others. We'll, I'll keep striving. But your lyric caught me in just the right state of mind. Here you have it......wonderfully personal and universal at the same time. Simple too......which is really not so simple to do. You just make it look easy. This one feels like it wrote itself.....no ego and no striving. Just a soulful flow thru of sentiment in the process of rising above grief. It's fascinating watching each other strive and grow at the craft. For me it's two steps forward and one to three steps backwards.....unless some real inspiration kicks in......something that is in short supply when so much is wrong with the world....not all of it caused by man. And I'm always battling my ego. It can really get in the way. But you're showing that once the craft starts to come more easily, as it seems to have in your writing, the more easily you turn the corner and do something that touches us.....something where ego has evaporated. I love it when the words start to take on added power thru the feeling that drives them rather than complexity. I love the variety of your songs lately....never know what to expect next. You had me when you said (sang) "Hello piano"....I knew I was in for a good lyric....especially considering its source. Just what I needed to see at a confusing crossroads in my own writing. Hello piano.......the perfect answer to: why am I writing songs? Very nice Paul!!!