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mick70

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mick70 last won the day on January 31

mick70 had the most liked content!

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About mick70

  • Rank
    Inspirational Muse
  • Birthday

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Australia
  • Interests
    Cartooning, writing, nerdy stuff

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    lyricist
  • Musical Influences?
    bob dylan, billy bragg,

Recent Profile Visitors

7,156 profile views
  1. Very epic Paul I loved reading this one never was a toy soldier kind of kid but laughed out loud at the end of this
  2. Made slight changes above
  3. Thank you all for the feedback I will keep going at it
  4. My big problem with these lyrics is there is no connection of what you are I guess your the moon by the song title but you don't see that from the lyrics. I liked reading the lyrics but they just seemed too random to connect to me. you seem to be a moon then a satellite then a comet then a falling comet.
  5. Can you drop the second halves of the pre-chorus and lose the second chorus in preference of a short rift
  6. I liked this but I just thought it was too long you would start losing people I'd say tighten up the verses
  7. Rev 2 is below original not many changes but I thought maybe they work KEEP ME IN DENIAL John was an old school kind of guy Workin' man till the day he'll die John's son was on the softer side Who said he was going on dates It was always with other men John believed they were only mates Don't tell me what I need to know Tell me what I want to hear Keep me in denial Don't tell me what I need to know Tell me what I want to hear Wanna stay in denial Sue was a typical house wife Her husband and kids were her life He'd come home drunk every night And in a rage he would beat her Later he'd say he was sorry She believed that he still loved her (rift) Matt was a devout catholic Taught to obey and genuflect When he was ten there was a priest Who would sometimes touch and caress The priest said it was fatherly Matt believed that priests were righteous Don't tell me what I need to know Tell me what I want to hear Keep me in denial Don't tell me what I need to know Tell me what I want to hear Wanna stay in denial Rev 2 KEEP ME IN DENIAL Don't tell us what we need to know Tell us what we want to hear Keep us in denial We don't want our conscience dealt a blow It's understanding that we fear Wanna stay in denial John was an old school kind of guy Workin' man till the day he'll die His son was on the softer side Who said he was going on dates It was always with other men John believed they're only mates believes he'll see girls if he waits Don't tell him what he needs to know Tell him what he wants to hear Keep him in denial He don't want his conscience dealt a blow It's understanding that he fears Wanna stay in denial Sue was a typical house wife Her husband and kids were her life He'd come home drunk every night And in a rage he would beat her Later he'd say he was sorry She believed that he still loved her believes that their love can endure (rift) Matt was a devout catholic Taught to obey and genuflect When he was ten there was a priest Who would sometimes touch and caress The priest said it was fatherly Matt believed that priests were righteous believes that they are all pious Don't tell them what they need to know Tell them what they want to hear Keep them in denial They don't want they're conscience dealt a blow It's understanding that they fear Wanna stay in denial
  8. Mike There are female comedic singers who would sing about dutch ovens Bob I've never heard that phrase maybe it's a bit of a local phrase I'm an aussie
  9. I like this except in my head I heard a slow jazz number that speeds up a notch in the chorus
  10. Agreed Barney so I had another go at it
  11. I really enjoyed how the song flowed should be go to music
  12. Really like the imagery
  13. Started with the first lines then went from there IT'S OVER Being mooned when you drop your pants Sorry babe but that isn't romance It's great that you drink with the guys But mooning your wife just isn't wise Might've been cute when we were kids But older me says that we are quits Yes it's over It's over It's over I used think about what went wrong And wondered why we don't get along We started as peaches and cream But Now all I do is hold back screams I don't think that one thing blew it Thing is I grew up and you didn't Yes it's over It's over It's over But it's not so bad we're ending It's not a bad message we're sending It might not be consensual But our divorce would be sensible You can have a baby sitter And I'll go look for something deeper Yes it's over It's over It's over If you didn't hear me I'll tell you again Yes it's over It's over It's over It's over version 2 IT'S OVER Being mooned when you drop your pants Sorry babe but that isn't romance It's great that you drink with the guys But mooning your wife just isn't wise Might've been cute when we were kids But older me says that we are quits Yes it's over It's over It's over That dutch oven you did last night Well it didn't set my heart a light You think it was companionship But what it was is you let one rip But not just your bed fart blew it Thing is I grew up and you didn't Yes it's over It's over It's over But it's not so bad we're ending Cause it's 'bout time we stopped pretending It might not be consensual But a divorce would be sensible You can go buy a game console And I will go find a kindred soul Yes it's over It's over It's over If you didn't hear me I'll tell you again Yes it's over It's over It's over It's over
  14. sounds like a great idea if I was clever enough
  15. verse 4 has now been re-worked