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HoboSage last won the day on April 1

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About HoboSage

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    Opinionated Hack

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  1. Song order on an album

    Write down each song title on a piece of paper, put them in a hat and mix them up, then draw them out one by one - that should be the song order. Why? Why the hell not. At least then you can check off "Decide on Song Order" from your list of things to do and move on to do something that actually matters. Quick. Efficient. Done!
  2. https://www.hobosage.com/furtherawaysingle
  3. Driving

    Like Jim, I enjoyed the ambient intro, but for me, the timing between the guitars, vocals and percussion becomes a mess as soon as the percussion and vocals come in, though it does get even worse later. On the positive side, you play acoustic well and do well recording it. FWIW, that's my take.
  4. All Fall Down

    The new bass - hands down. With the slides-n-shit it's much more interesting to listen to, and just "cooler." Not too busy at all. It's also less muddy than the original bass. I gotta say, I'm not hearing . . . piano?? Is it all mid-range so it's lost in the rest of the mix? If so, maybe pitch shift the piano track up and octave or two. Besides, a "toy" piano sound would fit the vibe. I also think the mix could use a bit more width. Either pan the guitars a little wider, or don't let them bleed as much towards the center. Just my opinions. Killer tunage, Bro.
  5. Writing Lyrics: Formula or Freefall?

    Alistair . . ouch? <heh-heh>
  6. Nothing Compares 2U

    I still remember the first time I heard Prince. I was driving home to Wisconsin from Minneapolis, and a Minneapolis radio station was playing the entire 1999 album. When I heard Little Red Corvette, I knew the guy was something very special indeed. I actually have love-hate feelings about Little Red Corvette though, because, for me, it has uber-cool-sounding synth chords and Simmons Drums pulses in the verses that I can't get enough of, but lame-sounding choruses that let me down. Not unlike my love-hate feelings towards Go All The Way by The Rasberries, and the sections in that song with the killer guitar riff compared to the rest of the song.
  7. Writing Lyrics: Formula or Freefall?

    Hey, Paul. I agree this isn't a song copying forum. But, I don't think this is just a songwriting forum either. In addition to being an audio recording forum, I think it's also a music composition independent of lyrics forum, and a lyric writing independent of music forum. It's that last aspect of the forum - that many lyric-only writers here tend to not write lyrics to music, and in fact, many never do - that I thought writing completely different lyrics to existing songs might be good exercises/challenges for those lyric writers as a way they could develop their lyrical chops to also be able to write a lyric to a given piece of music that's already in a song structure. I would think developing that lyric-writing ability could only make them better lyricists all-around, and open up additional collaboration opportunities for them. So, I don't understand why you see such exercises/challenges as not being creatively worthwhile for lyric writers having no experience writing to music, or why you view them through the lense of a some sort of competition. Though I acknowledge that it's rarely done here, the fact is a lot of lyricist-musician collaborative songwriting starts music first. And, I don't think this is just a competition forum either. Could your view perhaps be a bit myopic because, as a songwriter, you write lyrics first, and because you fairly consistently enter and even run song contests here? I dunno. But anyway, to each his own. P.S. As a general aside, there is a "market" of musician-singers with "lyric-ready" music looking for lyric writers who can write a good lyrics to that music, and I've seen posts here on the Muse for that very purpose. I'm talking about a finished musical arrangement of a song with a scratch vocal or lead line representing the vocal melody, not some snippet of a just a beat and a riff representing an initial "idea." Though they can do everything else well in making a song - music, singing and recording - they don't think they can write a good lyric for their song, or at least a good one in English. The responses from interested lyric writers to such posts I've seen tend to have been examples of completed lyrics the writer had written previously in a musical vacuum and which have no chance of working with the music and melody posted, and not a lyric they penned for that music and melody.
  8. Writing Lyrics: Formula or Freefall?

    Hmm. I'm thinking "cookie cutter and recycled" kind of fairly describes a lot of songs today. Maybe it's just me.
  9. Nothing Says Love Like Flowers

    Faith in "life after death" notwithstanding, just renting a coffin strikes me as overly optimistic.
  10. I Didn't Stay

    Good lyric. Kudos. In my opinion, if this is intended as pop or country or pop-country, chances are verse 3 isn't going to work very well musically as yet another verse in a verse+chorus x 3 song structure - at least not without a key change. Musically, it's likely the song will need a musical change after the first two verse+choruses. So, I think chances are that what you have designated as a lyric for a third verse would work better as a lyric for what is musically something new at that point - i.e., a bridge. Alternatively, if the pace of the song allows it, you could maybe double the verses before the first chorus and not have bridge in a typical verse, verse, chorus, verse, final chorus song structure. Especially since each verse section ends with the hook as a tag, that structure could work quite well Just my opinions.
  11. Writing Lyrics: Formula or Freefall?

    I think that's a good idea - an occasional Alternative Lyric Challenge for writing a completely different lyric to the vocal melody of an already recorded song.
  12. Nothing Says Love Like Flowers

    Good subtle, yet important tweak changing the door he knocks on to "our door." FWIW, since the flowers represent his expression of love for her and not her love for him, I interpret the twist at the end as expressing things didn't work out from his point of view - that the reality of the reunion didn't live up to his expectations, and within a week's time after getting what he thought he wanted he knew he needed a new start - men! So, he came to know what the murderer meant - though instead of killing her, he just left her to start over on his own - or, did he kill her? Well, that works too. I think it's done.
  13. Nothing Says Love Like Flowers

    Really well done. FWIW, some observations/suggestions. "It came from a guy who’d murdered his wife." Though either would be grammatically okay, I think that should be "who murdered." That sounds more natural to me, and would be easier to sing than "who'd murdered." Besides, "who'd" is most likely going to be heard as "who" anyway. Embrace it. "Now I'd get to hold her at last. He's already at her door. I think it should be "I'll" or better yet, just "I." "Found me a cheap place to rent." Nothing previously indicated he was living with the gal before. So, he would need a place to stay. I'm wondering if a line that better conveys his rekindled relationship with the gal is now over would serve the story better and be a better setup for the next lines - maybe highlighting the other aspect of the original bouquet - the ribbons and bows - being tossed away or something. "The flowers were dead in less than a week." I think that line might have a lot more impact when sung if it ended with "dead": "In less than a week the flowers were dead." I especially think that because I hear that last verse after the final chorus as having a "tag" vibe that winds the song down (perhaps even being literally performed slower), and bringing it full circle. I think ending that line with "dead" would be a more thought-provoking setup for the final line. I'm not sure of the structure. It's no biggie, but it seems the car-nations section is the chorus, and normally you go to a song's bridge after a chorus, not a verse. So, you might want another chorus before the bridge.
  14. Writing Lyrics: Formula or Freefall?

    FWIW: I won't pretend I'm an expert or even personally experienced on what's going on in the music biz today - I'm not. But, I'm not completely ignorant either, and it sure seems to me that if there is a market for third-party lyrics in the industry today, it is not so much a market for "music-ready lyrics" that so many lyrics-only folks seem to aim to write. The market seems to be one mostly looking for third-party lyrics paired with (or which a producer thinks could be paired with) a vocal melody as a "top line" for an already significantly produced and arranged music bed. In any event, I personally don't think a lyricist can be sufficiently truly honing their craft as a lyricist if they're never writing lyrics form scratch to music and a vocal melody, and music and vocal melodies one only imagines their lyric working with don't count, because what they only imagine is literally not real. So, if you're a lyrics-only type, don't just be a writer who writes to inspire a musician or producer. Also be a writer who can be inspired to write by the music of a musician/producer. Song collabs can also come music first. My collabs between me the musician/producer and me the lyricist/singer top line writer always do. Just my opinions.