Jump to content

Leakyplusme

Members
  • Content Count

    41
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

1 Neutral

About Leakyplusme

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Both
  • Musical Influences?
    Bob Dylan

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Leakyplusme

    Best Mates

    True blue it's been done mate.
  2. Leakyplusme

    I Feel It Because I Don't

    I would not start a bridge with the same lines as a verse in fact a good bridge can be something totally different and "would" sounds better then "wouldn't" and verse 3 could be better. Leaky BRIDGE 1 Time has made both of our hearts tough Feeling sorry is not enough Love would never stand for all that Loving you out of pity, brat BRIDGE 2 I feel it because I don't Feeling sorry coz i won't Love would never stand for that Out of pity you stupid brat V3 I feel it because I don't So let us leave it at that Sometimes it can't be explained Because love can turn and wane Sometimes love just turns and wanes Sometimes love just turns insane
  3. Leakyplusme

    Best Mates

    Hi Kuya Thank you for your crit True and true no it's not anything that i have heard it's what came out as i wrote it and i think it could be better but it's kind of original so i like that and it's expressed more when i sing the second true. If you heard it you would hear the emotion and sometimes words can't express that do you know what i mean? Leaky
  4. Leakyplusme

    Tempt

    I kind of cringed at the word Chore and i think you can do better then "my journey's a chore" your writing is good but that line could be stronger spit it out man don't hold back this song is about healing tell the truth. What about "Been a long road" the word There's, doesn't fit as well it's like you are talking about the future where as Been is talking about experience i.e the past and the last line in V1 It might have been by you. Bullshit you know it was so say so. The chorus is pleading for her not to go and that is cool. V2 What did I do? I'm not even sure. Again bullshit be honest you know what you did. I know this is hard to write about and i can understand you not wanting to say but the listener won't believe it. On you is my eye, don't make a fucking move. That's a brilliant line coz you are being honest. Ok don't take offence to my crit it's only my point of view if you don't agree then that's cool. Leaky
  5. Leakyplusme

    Born To Burn

    This is a parody of Bad To The Bone don't take it too seriously i think you can guess who it is about if not here's a hint. He has a bright orange wig lol. Leaky Born To Burn 14-4-2018 Verse 1 On the day I was born I had no hair at all I looked at the nurse Made her skin crawl Verse 2 She looked at me With quit concern Honey let me be I was born to burn Chorus Born to burn, born to burn B, b, b, b, born Born to burn, Yeah born to burn Verse 3 When I grow up I want to be a slut That turned out true You can’t shut me up Verse 4 Hang with me baby What did you learn Welcome to hell I was born to burn Chorus Born to burn, born to burn B, b, b, b, born Born to burn, Yeah born to burn Verse 5 They tally my number Adds to 666 Coz you know babe I’m a little prick Verse 6 I back flip all the time Don’t know which way to turn? But you can count on something I was born to burn Chorus Born to burn, born to burn B, b, b, b, born Born to burn, Yeah born to burn Verse 7 There’s no one else to fire I sit here all alone Another thought comes Was I bad to the bone? Verse 8 No honey you weren’t Don’t be concerned And be rest assured You were born to burn Chorus Born to burn, born to burn B, b, b, b, born Born to burn, Yeah born to burn Verse 9 They will be coming at you So thick and so fast What time is it baby? I don’t want to contrast Verse 10 Now you all listen up Come twitter come churn Coz you all fucking know I was born to burn Chorus Born to burn, born to burn B, b, b, b, born Born to burn, Yeah born to burn
  6. Leakyplusme

    President's lullaby

    Still too short but nice.
  7. Leakyplusme

    Out on my feet

    Hi Songwolf This is good can i make a few suggestions? V1 i would change "Push Straight On" what about "Push ahead defeat"? or something like that. and V2 could be better some of it is the same as V1 mind you i don't mind the repeat of. Out on my feet and out of my mind In each verse it's kind of interesting but i wouldn't put it in the first line of V2 but think of something else that has the same meaning and rhymes with complete try this site https://www.rhymezone.com/ i sometimes use it when i get stuck. Chorus is pretty good all the lines have 8 syllables but not the 3rd so i would cut out the word AND this is important if it has to be sung here is another site that can be helpful https://www.howmanysyllables.com/syllable_counter/ Leaky PS I would cut out one line in the bridge have a look. Ok that's all i have time for at the moment i will come back later and hopefully somebody else will have ideas to help you also 5 verses and the repeat of V1 would be a long song to sing maybe 3 verses and then repeat the first or 4 good verses with no repeat anyway just my thoughts hope this helps. (Bridge) Then, unexpected, the wind dies down I take a moment in the eye of the storm Peace is hard won so breathe it in Who knows when it'll come again
  8. Leakyplusme

    Best Mates

    Best Mates V1 I was very emotional on the drive down I did not know what to expect I kept thinking of us in our old town Well as best as i could recollect V2 It’s been forty years since we last spoke Give or take a month or two And it’s about time i paid a visit old bloke To my best mate namely you Ch Best mates are supposed to be forever Best mates are true and true Best mates are so lucky and clever Coz they stick together like glue Break V3 The seasons of sorrow were so dark Years have eaten us alive I lean forward to kiss your plaque You’ve been dead since 75 V4 Driving away now down this empty road Jacaranda trees purple in bloom You know my heart carries a heavy load I take it with me to my tomb Ch Best mates are supposed to be forever Best mates are true and true Best mates are so lucky and clever Coz they stick together like glue
  9. I do play some instruments and have written songs myself but i just want a change and do lyrics only to YOUR MUSIC if anybody is interested send me an email but no country songs or rap other then that go for it. email mst74476@bigpond.net.au
  10. Leakyplusme

    Wanted Me Then

    Kinh I think it is very good mate I'd buy it. Leakyplusme
  11. Leakyplusme

    No Such Thing

    Not bad John I enjoyed the read but what does (a pound of cure) mean i have never heard that phrase before. Leakyplusme
  12. Leakyplusme

    Missing

    Deleted
  13. Sticking knives in my knees don’t understand that line it does not make sense to me. The music is good obviously you have put a lot of work into it. Good working song do you have an acoustic version i think it would sound good stripped down. Leakyplusme
  14. Yes it needs more instruments guitar would fill it out more even acoustic would work well bass also but the guts of the tune is there and i like it well done. Leakyplusme
×