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Mike B

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Mike B last won the day on November 20

Mike B had the most liked content!

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About Mike B

  • Rank
    Acousticus Bostonicus
  • Birthday May 1

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://www.reverbnation.com/mikebirchmusic

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Methuen, MA
  • Interests
    mikebirchmusic.bandcamp.com
    youtube.com/mikebirchmusic

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Both
  • Musical Influences?
    Todd Rundgren, Neil Young, Beatles, anyone and everyone!
  1. Carry Me back To Columbus

    I too was drawn in by the hook, but I didn't like that the chorus changed each time - you've got 4 possible versions included. Chorus changes work (to me) when they are minor - one line, typically like a past/present/future type of change. You want people to remember the whole chorus so they can sing along, when it changes each time, they'll only remember the hook.
  2. Figuring out Meter

    I'm with David (Hobo) on this, the lyrical rhythm of the whole line is important to me, not dividing it up with somewhat arbitrary slashes.
  3. F***IN' AROUND (language warning)

    Hi SFX, after the first line of the chorus, I couldn't get past the messed-up grammar. Could you just change that to 'I may have the jewels...'?
  4. No Super Powers

    Hi Rerry - you've found one of the big issues with using the word 'love' at the end of a line - rhyming it! There's not a lot of choices, so its usually better to rewrite the line(s) with a different rhyming word. In the chorus I believe you mean 'sheer will', not 'sure will'.
  5. It ain’t my song written from Dani

    Hi Dani, just a few comments on structure/lyrical rhythm - do you play an instrument, or only compose lyrics? I ask because some lines are short or long compared to others in other verses, which can make it hard to put music to, for example: In my mind I’m good and well but have to say bye as I hear the ring of my bell. This is 7 syllables in the first half (to 'well') and 13 syllables in the 2nd half. Compare this to My fight is over no more pain, I’m happy to be on my last train which is 11 syllables in the first half (to 'pain') and 9 in the 2nd half. The first verse has an extra line (line 2) with no internal rhyme in it.
  6. Connie

    Hi John - 5 choruses seems a bit much in this, maybe cutting out the one after the bridge, and not having the first one until after the 2nd verse would work better. I had to go back to he beginning and re-read to grasp the difference between the verses and choruses. Lines 3 & 4 in each are really one line with an internal rhyme (despite how you wrote it out) - because of this format, I feel the verses and choruses are too similar in structure, resulting in the choruses not standing out. The other thing that does that is both choruses and verses start with the '...Connie...'
  7. Solid Evidence

    HI Paul, the only thing that didn't work for me was the final bit: And where's the world in all of this? Still waiting solid evidence. I don't think the world is waiting any more. The accusations are enough.
  8. Variation in song

    I don't think you find this in too many of the old 'classic hits' - 'Can't You See' is one, though. Bores me when playing it (yeah, we do it in my current band). The 'same 4 chords' (sometimes 3) is heard a lot in some recent 'hits' - thinking songs like 'Radioactive' and the older 'Kryptonite' as examples, both songs I dug out last night to 'relearn'. Sure makes it easy to play them, but it takes some skill to keep them interesting IMO. I think non-players/songwriters may not even realize the music is monotonously repetitive a lot of the time.
  9. A Better Class of Dog

    I like it, but have to caution you that with the current #metoo thing going, it would be better to let this rest, even with your best intentions.
  10. Star-Crossed

    HI James, the 'edge of a knife' line is quite well-used. I've got it in a song on my 2nd album, too! I prefer how the original 'coal' line was, but it was much too long to sing, I may try some variations. Paul - I tried that line both ways, and neither flows really well when sung. Thanks, all for the comments.
  11. Star-Crossed

    Great comments so far, I've done a few changes below. Started putting music to this last night, so have trimmed a few words as well. Kerry - Bonnie & Clyde and Romeo & Juliet are arguably the most well-known star-crossed lovers in current knowledge. But the real reason for including them was that 'Trouble" (now the guy in the revised lyrics below) wrote a song about their relationship called "Bonnie & Clyde Meet Romeo & Juliet", and its what gave me the idea for this lyric. I'd like to think that 'luck and trouble' can be interpreted as the couple and/or as things in this lyric, depending on how the listener takes it. Star-crossed 11-9-17 V1 Trouble arrived on a warm autumn night Flashing his wicked smile Took his place under the spotlight Sang songs of lust for a while Luck was there that night, waiting For something to change her life The simple existence she’d been hating All balanced on the edge of a knife Ch Luck and trouble Made for each other Fateful couple Star-crossed lovers V2 Luck can be good, or she can be bad Ask a couple like Bonnie and Clyde The chance Romeo and Juliet never had Cause luck decided they’d be denied Trouble’s no better than luck, it’s true Beware those fiery eyes A heart of coal ready to burn you As his smile fills the air with lies Ch Br Star-crossed, and all was lost Destined to never be Star-crossed, at such a cost Two lives that never will be free Ch
  12. It's All A Mistake

    Hi James, it helps when you edit a lyric to keep the original in the first post, and add the revised lyrics above it (suitably revised), otherwise the track of people's comments - and your changes - gets lost.
  13. Star-Crossed

    Great comments so far, I've done a few changes below. Started putting music to this last night, so have trimmed a few words as well. Star-crossed 11-9-17 V1 Trouble arrived on a warm autumn night Flashing his wicked smile Took his place under the spotlight Sang songs of lust for a while Luck was there that night, waiting For something to change her life The simple existence she’d been hating All balanced on the edge of a knife Ch Luck and trouble Made for each other Fateful couple Star-crossed lovers V2 Luck can be good, or she can be bad Ask a couple like Bonnie and Clyde The chance Romeo and Juliet never had Cause luck decided they’d be denied Trouble’s no better than luck, it’s true Beware those fiery eyes A heart of coal ready to burn you As his smile fills the air with lies Ch Br Star-crossed, and all was lost Destined to never be Star-crossed, at such a cost Two lives that never will be free Ch ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I had a better last line for the bridge last night - as I fell asleep - and I don't remember it today! That was actually going to be the chorus (and could still be), but I'm afraid it doesn't mesh well with the verses and how they developed. Oh - this is kind of a true story, and the B&C and R&J references have meaning to that (former) couple, but maybe they don't work so well in the lyric? V1 Luck arrived on a warm autumn night Flashing his wicked smile Took his place under the spotlight And sang songs of lust for a while Trouble was there that night, waiting For something to change her life The mundane existence she’d been hating All balanced on the edge of a knife Ch Luck and trouble Made for each other Have another double Star-crossed lovers V2 Luck can be good, or he can be bad Ask a couple like Bonnie and Clyde The chance Romeo and Juliet never had Cause luck decided they’d be denied Trouble’s no better than luck, it’s true Beware those fiery eyes A heart of coal behind them ready to burn you As her smile fills the air with lies Ch Br Star-crossed, and all was lost Destined to never be Star-crossed, at such a cost Two lives that will never agree Ch
  14. Annoying lyrics

    The 2nd half of verse 2 of Ten Years After's "I'd Love to Change World" always annoyed me: Life is funny, skies are sunny Bees make honey, who needs money, Monopoly After Alvin Lee's death, I read that the record company had made him change the lyrics from whatever they had been - and that's why he never played the song live.
  15. Such a Heavy Price

    The verb tenses in this threw me, seems like it should all be in past tense - while its happening, you don't really know its a 'one night stand', right? With just two short verses, the chorus seems very long, specially having it 3 times.
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