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PaulCanuck

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PaulCanuck last won the day on February 10

PaulCanuck had the most liked content!

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About PaulCanuck

  • Rank
    A Muse's Muse

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    http://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/

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    Male

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  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Both
  • Musical Influences?
    Life, Love

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21,663 profile views
  1. Collaboration Contest

    I'm in as a ... (whatever you're short of )
  2. Time to Sink In

    Some songwriters advise us to give a song room to breathe, give it space, and make it less busy. While I agree this good advice, I also like to think - give things a chance to "sink in". Often listening to lyrics is like drinking from a fire hose. You can't do it, so plenty of water doesn't make it down your throat To avoid this, we need to meter out the lyric so it gets absorbed by the listener's brain, not discarded because the listener isn't ready for more information. A repeating chorus, a musical interlude or even a stop or breakdown in the song can give the listener a break. Is there a poignant line in the lyric of your song? Is there a climax in the storyline? Is new information flowing too fast for a typical listener to keep up? If so, add some room to allow things to sink in. You'll make a better connection to your listeners if you do
  3. be on your way

    Nice one Dan - reminded me of Dylan's "It ain't Me Babe". +1 on Patty's comments - esp the heart/apart rhyme. Otherwise good to go in my books Paul
  4. Smile For Everyone

    Hi Joey Great country-rock tune IMHO. Love the hook - and how you stay true to it. My only suggs are on the production side of things. +1 on scaling back the backing music in the verses - this will make the chorus stand out more and feel more intimate in story telling. Also, just a touch less reverb on the main vocal (leave it heavy on the bg vox), again will make it more intimate. The lead vox is excellent BTW. Lastly it needs a haircut - trimmed to 3:30 max. I would even be tempted to give it a key change lift for the last chorus to keep it fresh/interesting. All in all a solid song and recording - enjoyed it Paul
  5. Bring It to the River

    The only one I know is by the Talking Heads
  6. The Trouble Is.. 02/16/2018 (final?!)

    Made a few more tweaks in green. As Buck Owens used to say to guitar players: "You keep pickin that thing and it won't heal" Hopefully that isn't the case here. Thanks again everyone - I think it's a better lyric because of your esteemed inputs Paul
  7. Bring It to the River

    Hi Donna Knowing nothing about the genre - looks good to me. Only thought was "Bring it to His/God's River" to get it further from "Take Me To the River" which is sort of "taken". Quality work Paul
  8. "Watching You Fly"

    Good stuff Andy - you put us in that arena watching her fly. The verses build nicely and the chorus explodes magnificently A few suggs - use or lose at will: "Ice" is redundant IMO: Think this line has one adjective too many: This is a great "meta song" line: Hope this is of some use. Paul
  9. Wishful Drinking

    Haha - love it - would make a great country song! I think the first line is a bit too potty-mouth and the first two lines could be clearer (with one less "pretty") Assuming the idea is that the more he drinks the prettier the girls get: Not sure "stinking bad" works - seems redundant - maybe: Good write! Paul
  10. January 2018 Song Contest

    Hi everyone - just wanted to point out that the highlighted (in yellow) scores of "5" were put in by myself - these were either not scored, or were the scorer's own lyric/music. I'm not sure if they skew the results - maybe they should be an "average" instead of "5". Would be interested if the lyric/music scoring is helpful or not - it's a bit more work for everyone so we needn't bother if it is not useful. This thread is weird in my browser - I keep getting a pop-up saying there are 22 new replies but there aren't Does this happen to anyone else? Paul
  11. January 2018 Song Contest

    The scores have been tabulated (by an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of typewriters) and we have the following results. FIRST PLACE: Gone Away - Triffid SECOND PLACE: Because You Are - HoboSage THIRD PLACE: Fade - Jambrains Congratulations to our winners and all who participated. Special thanks to our non-contestant scorers: peko, murphster, GaryHale, and Ironknee Total Gone Away Triffid 7.0 7.0 9.0 7.0 3.0 8.0 7.0 8.0 5.0 7.0 5.0 7.0 8.5 6.5 8.5 103.5 Because You Are HoboSage 8.0 8.0 8.0 8.0 3.0 8.0 5.0 7.9 8.0 7.0 6.0 6.5 7.5 5.5 7.0 103.4 Fade Jambrains 9.0 6.0 7.0 7.5 6.0 5.0 6.5 8.8 7.0 5.0 7.0 7.5 7.5 6.5 6.5 102.8 Velvet Dream ScenesFromPalacio 6.0 5.0 7.0 7.0 6.0 6.0 4.0 8.6 7.0 6.5 6.5 8.5 7.0 7.0 8.0 100.1 Tables Turn DanJames 9.0 6.5 8.0 8.0 6.0 7.0 4.0 5.8 5.0 8.0 6.0 5.5 7.5 5.5 6.0 97.8 I Am Broken Eric Borgos 8.0 7.5 5.0 6.0 6.0 4.0 5.5 5.2 4.0 6.0 6.5 6.0 6.5 8.0 8.0 92.2 4exo27 (Forever as you are) ClintLeonard 7.0 6.5 6.0 7.0 3.0 5.0 7.5 4.0 5.0 8.0 7.0 8.5 7.0 5.5 5.0 92.0 Ashes of Her Bridges moptop 5.0 8.0 5.0 5.0 8.5 5.0 3.5 8.5 7.0 5.5 5.5 6.0 5.5 5.0 7.0 90.0 The Usual Suspects tunesmithth 5.0 7.0 6.0 6.5 5.0 5.0 4.5 6.1 5.0 5.0 4.0 5.0 5.5 5.5 6.0 81.1 4our 5ive Boy frevm 4.0 8.0 6.0 6.0 2.0 4.0 3.0 4.9 4.0 6.5 4.0 5.5 8.0 5.5 8.0 79.4 Good RoadDog 4.0 8.0 1.0 5.0 6.0 4.0 5.0 5.0 5.0 6.0 3.5 6.0 5.0 6.0 5.5 75.0 Mountain SOD 3.0 7.0 6.0 7.0 1.0 4.0 3.0 5.0 5.0 4.0 6.0 5.0 7.5 5.5 5.0 74.0 Lyrics Scores Total Tables Turn DanJames 7 8 8 8 8 4 8 6 57 Fade Jambrains 6 7 7 7 6 6 6 7 52 I Am Broken Eric Borgos 7 5 6 6 7 6.5 6 7.5 51 4exo27 (Forever as you are) ClintLeonard 7 6 6 4 7 6 6 5 47 Gone Away Triffid 4 6 8 3 7 5 7 7 47 Velvet Dream ScenesFromPalacio 5 4 5 4 8 6 6 7.5 46 The Usual Suspects tunesmithth 6 7 5 6 7 4 4 6 45 Ashes of Her Bridges moptop 8 5 5 6 4 5 4 7 44 Mountain SOD 7 7 5 4 4 5.5 6 5 44 Because You Are HoboSage 7 4 6 2 6 5 7 5.5 43 Good RoadDog 8 5 4 4 6 2 5 6 40 4our 5ive Boy frevm 7 4 5 1 4 1 8 7.5 38 Music Scores Total Because You Are HoboSage 8 9 8 3 8 7.5 8.5 8.5 61 Tables Turn DanJames 6 8 8 5 8 7.5 5 7.5 55 Gone Away Triffid 7 9 7 3 7 5 8 9 55 Fade Jambrains 6 7 8 5 4 7.5 9 7.5 54 Ashes of Her Bridges moptop 8 5 5 9 7 5.5 6 8 54 4our 5ive Boy frevm 8 7 5 2 9 6.5 8 7 53 4exo27 (Forever as you are) ClintLeonard 6 6 8 3 8 8 8 5 52 Velvet Dream ScenesFromPalacio 5 6 6 5 5 7 8 8 50 I Am Broken Eric Borgos 8 5 6 3 5 6.5 7 8.5 49 Mountain SOD 7 6 6 4 4 6 9 7 49 The Usual Suspects tunesmithth 7 5 6.5 3 4 4 6 6.5 42 Good RoadDog 8 4 4 3 6 5 5 6 41
  12. You Light A Fire

    Good stuff Gary - I can see this working great as a duet. A few comments.. The second line seems a bit over-complicated to me. It requires the listeners to think too much IMO, and because it is sandwiched inside the verse they don't have time to digest it. Plus I don't think it needs explaining - they could just say they're hurting others and we can fill in the blanks. I don't think it needs the bridge - and the "naked skin" bit, to me at least, seemed a tad creepy having said that, it's a great lyric with a stellar chorus - it's going to make a good song I predict. Paul
  13. The Trouble Is.. 02/16/2018 (final?!)

    OK - now in the recording phase so I hope this is nearly final I got rid of the "science" bit - it's a hard word to sing and as ppl have mentioned doesn't entirely apply. Many thanks to barneyboy, kuya and Andy for hanging in there and critiquing the new version. Anything that stands out as an issue ple let me know Thanks again everyone Paul
  14. Shake That Thing

  15. A Promise Made

    I liked the hook in this and the first half was interesting and kept my attention. I wanted the second half to be bittersweet - like maybe he gets back to fulfill his promise but she's in the cemetery (and not just visiting ) In other words I'd like to see more drama - not just some guy saying as much as "I'm a gonna go back and win that girl so I am" Paul
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