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lyriCAL last won the day on October 13 2017

lyriCAL had the most liked content!

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49 Excellent

About lyriCAL

  • Rank
    A Muse's Muse

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Interests
    Traveling, walking, hiking, reading, photography

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
  • Musical Influences?
    Songwriters I love include Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Bruce Springstreen, Elvis Costello, and The Eagles
  1. Collaboration Contest

    BTW, who is that Jonie person?
  2. Collaboration Contest

    I hope a bunch more music writers climb on board. I can sit this out if there aren't enough, since I've been doing a number of collaborations on FAWM this month. But if enough musicians sign up, then count me in. Thanks for doing this Alistair. I love these collaboration contests -- it's really cool to see what everyone comes up with. --Doug
  3. Walkin' Money--Final, I think!

    Wow, Patty, great lyric. I haven't read any of the thread, just the revised lyric, but it's a super fun read and one of the most instantly singable lyrics I've ever seen. Whatever you went through to get to this point was worth it. Hope the song does the lyric justice! Doug
  4. Wishful Drinking

    However you wind up finishing this, it's great, kuya! You've gotten lots of great suggestions and I want to hear this one for sure!
  5. You're right, Mike. And a guy tried to steal some of them and ended up in Sing Sing.
  6. White Valentine

    I'm not an expert on dream pop but I love some of Mazzy Star's songs and I bet everyone on the Muse has heard Fade into You even if they didn't know it was dream pop. And Mazzy Star was pretty big in the '90s, at least for a little while, and their lyrics aren't always so easy to figure out (i.e., Fade into You) and what made them big, I think, was the dreaminess of their melodies, the talented guitar playing, and Hope Sandoval's singing. Frankee, if you can turn this into a dream pop song that catches our ears thanks to a great melody, high-level musicianship, and alluring singing, then the lyrics probably won't matter that much. We'll listen even if we don't understand. If you want listeners to understand the lyric more, it has to be clearer or more universal, IMHO. The concept of a white valentine, as you've explained it, is pretty cool but no one but you will understand it while listening to your lyric because it's not clear from the lyric itself. And you can't just expect people to "get" it. Andy has given you some great suggestions. If you can prepare the listener better to understand that the valentine's lack of color represents the idea that their relationship has been drained of its blood that would go a long way to resolving the issues people are seeing with this lyric. I hope you do post a song version of this soon so that we can all hear it! Cheers, Doug
  7. Awkward lyrics by the greats...

    In Green Day's Basket Case, listen to how he sings "melodramatic."
  8. Playing Dead

    Your explanation for the meaning of the poem definitely helps me to understand it. I might've given you a 1.0 if I'd understood it completely. But, I didn't care that I didn't understand it all. Really, it's so beautifully written and the prosody is so stellar and -- for me this matters a lot -- I haven't seen anything like it before, that it was immediately my favorite of the bunch. Obviously, I'm in the minority this time. But I wouldn't feel bad about your placement in the contest and if you change a word... Donna, for me at least, you are a constant source of inspiration and this is just one more example of how. You set such a great example of the careful use of words and rhythm and phrasing and imagery and all of the stuff that goes into a good lyric. It drives me nuts when I see people say the lyrics don't matter to them because no matter how good the music is, a song will be so much better if it has lyrics like the ones you write. Keep it up! Doug
  9. January Lyrics Contest

    Congratulations to Patty, Gary and graybeard! My favorite this month was Donna's with Patty's lyric next. I agree with everyone who says this was a strong bunch of lyrics. It makes me happy to see all the talent on display here month after month. And it's especially good to see some names I haven't seen before. Thanks to everyone who had a kind word about Goodbye, Saigon. And a huge thanks, once again, to iggy for running the show! Cheers! --Doug
  10. Speach parts

    Clever, Clemo! Could be used in schools all over the world that have instruction in English.
  11. Winner of the 2017 Lyric of the Year Contest

    And the 2017 Lyric of the Year is .... Hello Piano by Paul Canuck Second Place: If I Never Find That Heaven by Donna Marilyn Many thanks to our non-contestant voters: Moptop, Barney, A Musical Key, Frankee, James K., Randy, and JOEINJAX. Congratulations to Paul! Every lyric in this competition had already won a monthly contest. We had 19 voters and one of the non-contestant voters only wanted to cast one vote instead of three. Here is the breakdown of the points: Hello Piano – Paul Canuck 7 If I Never Find That Heaven – Donna Marilyn 6 those that could stood – JWallace 5 Portraits of war – SongWolfe 5 Bullets and Lovers – Eric Borgos 5 Friendship Hurts If You Do It Right – Peko 5 Here on Vacation – kuya 4 Life Insurance Blues – kuya 4 It’s All in the Stars – iggy 4 I Remember Little River – graybeard 4 Mustard Fields of Southwold – fabkebab 3 Bar Room Rodeo -- GaryHale and teeporter 3 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
  12. Dark Cloud - updated 01/31/2018

    Paul, If I could play and sing AND write like you, I'd be playing at some piano bar somewhere every weekend -- they wouldn't even have to pay me. I think this is a great idea and I agree with others that it needs to be a bit grittier to work as the blues. You Canadians are too darn nice and polite. Andy and kuya have given you some good suggestions. I read this as being about depression and the singer defiantly saying he's not going through it again, that one time was more than enough. But I think he has to be tougher on the dark clouds that are threatening him again for the lyric to really resonate as fully as it can. --Doug
  13. Lady of the Lake (slight re-write)

    Actually, I agree with Clemo. Invoking need in me could also use some help.
  14. Lady of the Lake (slight re-write)

    I dig this. The only line that strikes me as needing improvement is the goosebumps line -- it's that awkward-sounding Yodaspeak. I'm betting you can come up with a better line. I look forward to hearing this! --Doug
  15. ack-ack boo-boo chichi dumdum frou-frou gaga haha muumuu nana pooh-pooh so-so tutu yaya