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A Musical Key

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A Musical Key last won the day on July 16 2017

A Musical Key had the most liked content!

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About A Musical Key

  • Rank
    Active Muse

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Wisconsin

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    both
  • Musical Influences?
    soft rock and roll, singer/songwriter

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  1. War song

    Not bad for a first draft. An idea or two... Man has always been effective at war Our enemies can't get any deader With efficiency (tech) we just get better (faster) Christmas is that one time a year We could put down our fears (spears) Maybe if we were interested in redemption We could destroy the ammunition This song means War song? Enjoyed the read.
  2. Young love - lyric critique

    Your introduction of the song is more engaging than the lyric. Get some of that into your song and you'll like it much better. Thanks for sharing.
  3. Touch the Sky (rewrite 4-11-18)

    Nicely done, I liked the broad strokes of this lyric. We need to trust ourselves, raise our voices to have our mountain top world not some hole in the ground. Touch the sky is their anthem. Cool,
  4. In Times Like These

    Damn fine! A few thoughts: To me, the bridge is too much of a digression from the main lyric. I prefer the verse " Some came for freedom " as the bridge. The first verse feels like it needs another couplet in introducing our character. Maybe something like " A horse to ride on / Children that grow up strong. " I prefer the line " A man needs no one to please " over " A man needs someone / to please. I'm not sure who the master but he could be Old Scratch. Kinda cool. Again, fine work!
  5. The Politician

    I enjoyed the read. Are you sure about the crème de la crème? Seems a bit dated to me. This lyric could use a bridge to break up the sameness of the chorus and verses. Also, try adding a little spice. I think this needs a little sass and word play to take it global. Think of the descriptions used in The Grinch and it might just be oily enough for a song about politicians.
  6. I Don't Want Em Anymore

    Not sure where you're going with the 14 line verses and 1 line phrases here. The lyric would really shine with shorter verses and a chorus. Let me know what you're thinking. I'm curious.
  7. Call to war

    SW - - Looks pretty good to me. I agree with @Mike B though, oil and pollution don't quite fit this lyric. It's more of a salt the earth, plunder our riches, ravish our women setting.
  8. Never Gonna Lose (the Blues) REV 2

    Much better. Cleaned up nicely. I've been thinking on the revised version and have a few soft spots to mention. Grown man cry tends to be used in situations which reek of sexual frustration. Nice to see it used as a lament. Dodgy to me means crafty in a mischievous way. That doesn't seem to fit the situation. Beside I haven't heard it used in conversation. Ever. I know what you mean by the piper line but it might be worthier as The devil will take what he chooses. And here's the show stopper (as in I'm finally going to stop). How about a prechorus? Ooo ooo something special You ooo something special Suggestions are intrusive. Do with them what you will with them. It's your lyric. I like it as is.
  9. Never Gonna Lose (the Blues) REV 2

    I dig the blues. Def has a bluesy feel to it. I suggest roughing up the chorus. It's predictable which makes for a great sing-along but if you're looking for something special maybe a tweak here and there might make it more interesting. Probably not telling you anything new. Sometimes it helps to have someone say "yup you're on the right track."
  10. I Cannot Remember

    Kuya maker a tad mor eyrish, eh boyo? (insert humorous chuckle here) This has the makings of a great pub song complete with sing a long chorus. But you need a twist at the end. "It's best when it's St Paddy's Day every day of the year" or something like it. Frothy brown - I guess it works. Check out "Lost Weekend" by The Beat Farmers circa 1985 if you have the chance. It's not Irish.
  11. Touch the Sky (rewrite 4-11-18)

    Mike, For some reason, this lyric stuck in my mind. Have you considered the possibility of this as an indirect comment on the world rather than the open protest it is now? I mean a lyric about a man who lives in a cesspool at the bottom of your hole and longs to touch that circle of blue he can see.
  12. Touch the Sky (rewrite 4-11-18)

    Touch the sky can sound like Touch this guy Remember Jimi's Kiss the sky ?
  13. Your Counterfeit Heart

    Hey Peko, One suggestion: Look at the title. Plastic Heart might give this the cheap feel I thought you were going for.
  14. Home in the Stars - LOCKED

    A few alternate word choices for you. Just in case you don't have enough. You have a plethora of responses to a lyric you wrote in response to a plethora of lyrics with space themed songs. That'll teach you to stay away from trends! "gone quiet" might be better as "gone silent" No one says "They've gone quiet" "frozen satellites" might be better if you can work in something to do with "interstellar flight" or "decaying orbit" or "gravity fights" "put the pedal down" reeks to me of gasoline. Surely, a better phrase can be constructed "Home In The Stars." Hmm, Home? Maybe" A Place In The Stars" or "A Star Of Our Own" or "Our Space In The Stars" Oh shut up already!
  15. My Valentine

    Good to see you back with a clever lyric. Clever as i it is, the lyric is based on the awkward rhyme valentine / concubine. Amber doesn't work until the end.
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