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melahide

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melahide last won the day on June 26

melahide had the most liked content!

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About melahide

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse
  • Birthday 23/04/79

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  • Website URL
    www.songcycle.org

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Austria

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Composer
  • Musical Influences?
    Brian Wilson, Dennis Wilson, Beatles, Frames....
  1. "The Lady"

    Hi, thank you for your feedback. I am greatful that Gavin offered his help. I am ok with lyrical concepts and "flow" - but it´s better when a native speaker is around to help I´ve already composed music and the song might be up to 5 minutes long. I am not worried about "radio quality" and what could "fit in the demands" or so. Songwriting is a hobby for me. Altough I already had a couple of songs published, I am not looking for a "career" in Songwriting. I am Indie. I am free to do what ever I please, regarding to music... .)
  2. "The Lady"

    THE LADY revised version with help by Mr. Gavin Sinclair Verse See the old lady, her hair turned to silver All of her life she has prayed to the lord A life of hard work, raising three sons But she gave the church all that she could afford Verse Not one of her sons has survived to outlive her They all died for their country in some foreign land And her closest friend passed away last winter Rescuing them was not in God’s plan Bridge She goes to mass on her own every Sunday As she chants a prayer, she thinks back to the day When the two men in uniform took off their hats And she knew that her husband was not coming back Pre-Chorus Still she prays to the lord and Mother Mary Thy will be done, what will be will be Chorus Lord, I’m not one to complain But do you need glasses to see my pain? And a hearing aid, before it is too late? You might hear my cries of what happened to me Thy will be done, what will be will be I will let it be Verse Only once in her life did she find fortune’s favor She won the lottery, but still she needed proof. Her priest reminded her, generosity would save her And the chapel got a brand new roof Bridge Her brother’s never seen a church from the inside Smokes a hundred a day and drinks too much beer He’s fit as a fiddle, while our dear lady Has liver cancer and her lungs are not too clear Pre-Chorus But when they pass round the plate, she drops in her share The priest hears her mumbling, but doesn’t care Chorus Lord, I’m not one to complain But do you need glasses to see my pain? And a hearing aid, before it is too late? You might hear my cries of what happened to me Thy will be done, what will be will be I will let it be Verse On TV she stares at the flickering horror Of hunger, terror, pain and misery And feels a little sorry for the good lord above her Because in heaven they have no color TV Bridge She sees the Pope standing in some strange land With a smiling dictator, shaking his hand In a country where bombs fall and children die Our old lady watches, and she starts to cry Pre-Chorus (but used as kind of coda) She recites the lord´s prayer through her tears, shout’s “Enough!” To hell with the good lord´s ground staff!
  3. "The Lady"

    Hi guys, a quick thank you all for taking the time to review, respond, feedback and making suggestions. Well, @Barneyboy is right, I wrote most of the words in my native language and tried to translate them and rewriting them. But I was not aware of the problem that some rhymes did not fit... huh, I was thinking I got them all, at least "Imperfect" rhymes. Thank you very much for your suggestions, always welcome and appreciated. I am not suggesting that the lord needs glasses or a hearing aid. I am telling a story about an old lady, working hard her whole life, struggeling, experimenting pain ... getting the feeling that he does not see or hear her because she lost almost everything in her life. I was not trying to offend anyone or anything. The lady was not trying either. @A Musical Key: Well, actually it does have a chorus. It´s this "Lord, I will not complain" thing. It´s the chorus. I understand that the structure itself is not so clear, it´s like Verse-Verse-Bridge-Pre-Chorus-Chorus-Verse-Bridge-Pre Chorus-Chorus-Verse-Bridge-Pre Chorus -(Chorus) @Malice95: Yeah, it´s 14 lines until I get to the chorus, but one line is about 4 seconds long - I already have composed music for the piece ... and this is not one of those songs when it´s like "don´t bore us, get us to the chorus". Well, my friend Gavin had a look at the piece and offered some rewriting. Maybe it does make more sence now, because he is a native. And I am offering some more details on the structure. Hope this works out now. Anyway, a big thank you for all of you responding and careing.
  4. "The Lady"

    Hello, any thoughts on that one? There´s a song in my native language with a similar topic, so some lines are just translated and some of them are new... "The Lady" An elderly lady her hair had turned silver All her life she was praying to the lord She raised her sons and spend a life of hard work But she gave the church all that she could afford Not one of her three sons could outlive her They all died overseas in wars for their homeland Even her closest friend passed away last winter Because rescuing them was not in the lady´s hand She´s still attending the mess on every Sunday Then her thought drifts back to that one day When the lord called up her husband way too soon He died in Vietnam, on a rainy day in June Still she´s praying to the lord and Mother Mary If that was the lord´s will, then it shall be Lord, I will not complain But new glasses might help you to see my pain And if you get a hearing aid, before it is too late You might hear the cries of what happened to me If that was the lord´s will, then it shall be And I will let it be Only for once in her life she was really lucky She won the lottery but still she needed proof. Her priest reminded her to share her luck with others And since that day her chaple had a golden roof Her brother never saw a church from the inside Has 100 cigarettes per day and too much wine He enjoys the best health and our dear lady has liver cancer and her lungs are not that fine But when the priest calls for collection she contributes her share He hears her mumbeling, but does not care Lord, I will not complain But new glasses might help you to see my pain And if you get a hearing aid, before it is too late You might hear the cries of what happened to me If that was the lord´s will, then it shall be And I will let it be On TV she sees the horrifying pictures Of hunger, terror, pain and misery Then she feels a little sorry for the good lord Because in heaven he´s got no colored TV She sees the pope travelling to some strange land Meeting up with a dictator shaking his hand In a country where bombs fall and children die Our old lady can´t do anything but cry She says a lord´s prayer, shouting out “it is enough” I can´t bear the good lord´s ground staff.
  5. Collaborator

    Hello Mylene. Thank you for using my request for self-marketing
  6. TED Talk

    By first reading this it was like "hmm.... "... I was like... not so good. Then I started "singing" it (in my head) to a Janson Mraz tune and came to the conclusion... Jason Mraz does write a similar Kind of conversational lyrics... which I don´t really like, but in a style like this, it might work. Altough the chorous would really Need some work - it is too technical/documentary...
  7. "Todays music vs. "classics"

    Yeah, I do listen to indie rock/indie pop. And you are right, they will not be played on the mainstream radio stations in Austria, therefore the country is too small. And "Fm4" - the only radio station in Austria to play only "Indie" and "Alternative" cannot cover it all ... so Apples own "Indie Radio Station" is good
  8. "Todays music vs. "classics"

    Yeah, you are right. There was a lot of crap in the 1960s ... even Dylan had an Album with no brilliant tunes.... But I´m not referring to "classics" only... I am well familiar with the albums of many artists of the 60 by owing their whole cataloge on vinyl and even some of the "not so familiar" songs strike my heart more then some songs that are played on the radio these days... and it´s not because I grew up in the 60th, I grew up in the 90th but somehow got "lost", musically. But when I think about the last ... two decades of music (gosh... I got old) there was not much that became a "hit" that got stuck in my head. I never got close to acts like "Rhianna" or Beyonce or anything like this. I cannot get close with this music. Coldplay was/is good. Green day is still doin fine, but I grew up with them in the 90th so ... it does not count. Katey Perry sold many records and became a big star... but will their songs be "classics" someone will listen to in 20 years? OK ... the "hughest" star in the last couple of years was Adele... she has a brilliant voice, her songs are personal and good. Many people like their music, that´s obviouse... so maybe she can become "classic"... (still, her music is not really my cup of tea) ... For me the "good music" played today are only some Indie-Groups.... but... for example...finding a folk singer or a Singer/Songwriter with something to say is difficult. Maybe there is someone out there and I havn´t found him or her yet
  9. The Sum of Smaller Stories

    Hi - well people mentioned... some lines are too long to get a rythem by only readig it, but IF you already have a melody for it - stick to the melody and it will be fine! What I like about this lyric is, that you are trying to paint pictures, tell a story and how you kept it simple. I like it when lyrics are told like you were talking to someone. OK, you might use other words when you write it down... but you should get the picture what I mean. So I really have to say: Not bad John :).
  10. friend zone

    Hi Dina, just a warm welcome - we know each other from the Songwriter-Facebook Group
  11. Hi, was just wondering if anyone can relate to my "experience". Well.. my Apple Music account is always trying to suggest musicians/groups to me I might like. The last couple of days I listened to a couple of suggestions - mostly were Singer/Songwriters... I have to admit... I don´t listen to the radio, am more or less stuck with music of the 50th, 60th, Folk, Irish Music, Irish Singer/Songwriters, Austrian Singer/Songwriters, Austrian Indie Rock, Beatles, Beach Boys - you name it.... Now, I gave "Apple" a fair chance... No, I´m not gonna say I was "shocked" but I was...devastated... :)... for one hour I listened to a couple of songs, released in the last couple of years... and they all sounded the same. All started off with just a guitar or piano, then they were "builded up" (some more instruments were added) ... most of the singers did not had any character or emotions in their voice... had nothing to say. Most of them used a Voxcoder and stuff like this... the only suggestion from Apple I was happy with was "Mumford & Sons" ... already knew then, attened a concert couple of years ago... AFter this experience I asked Apple to suggest me some "Folk music" upon my likes and dislikes.. huh.. Bob Dylan, Journeymen, Doc Watson.. .Simon & Garfunkel... so... Apple can do it If they want to... Even finding a "setlist" for a concert get´s more and more complicated. My Band is playing gigs every now and then, most of the times we do original songs... but we always include some cover songs as well. I´m always the guy saying... "hey, let´s play two unknown songs of the Beach Boys and the Beatles, a Chuck Berry tune, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Gershwin, one song by the Hollies... Neil Young.. ... " the "more" modern stuff I find worth playing is Damian Rice and Glen Hansard (Irish Singer/Songwriters)... and the closest stuff that could be heard on the radio or so was something like "I wish I was a punkrocker" by Sandi Thorm and "Read all about it" by Emeli Sande... at our last concert I was asked about 10 times "can you play something by Adele??"... I don´t really like her music... but she made a cover of a Dylan Song, so we played the Dylan-tune and told the audience, it´s by Adele... HA... audience was happy. I always think... there are soooo many great songs out there... I mean... "The weight" by "the Band", Dylan, Cash and so on... that´s something people recognice ... and I always ask myself... why should I waste my time on something that´s not good. I mean... if the folk asks for something mind-blowing: Play Good Vibrations. If they ask for something heart-melting... play "She´s leaving home"... if they ask for something to Dance.. play Twist and Shout, Roll over Beethoven... still most of the people know this tunes... well, they would not listen to it voluntarily, but they listen to it in concerts... no wait... there are always some people shouting "play adele "or "play Nothing else matters".... and so on... So - in my opinion music created today does not stand a chance against the "classics" ... what do you think about it?
  12. QUESTIONS ABOUT KOMPOZ

    Music has always been a business of networking and relationships. Some musicians have the same problem that Emily mentioned above. "Wasting time with the wrong person..."... for a musician it´s even more painful. It´s not like pressing two buttons and the music is there. Working on the melody and chord progression can take several days/weeks... recording every instrument, doin the vocals (always need couple of takes and then it´s like a puzzle, cutting out the best parts - if it should sound at least semi-professional) ...the editing, the mixing takes hours of work... I used to write Lyrics for a couple of projects in my native language... I always "think" the lyric through when I´m in the shower, driving in my car, at work... write it down...edit it... if it is fast, it´s one hour of work (could be days though) ... but when the lyric is already finnished, the other part takes over... and then you simply have to decide, if you like it or not... at least, that´s my experience... On the other hand: I´m sharing a similar experience (Emily: "I don´t make music for my parents and their friends..."). Sometimes when a lyricist comes along, I always have the feeling that the words he or she writes are way too...nice... and too sweet. Something like: "I am married to my wife for 30 years now ... so I write something about her, to make her happy... what my parents would like. What my priest and my church-community would like... I mean, I know I should be happy with anyone who is willing to do something with me. My english is aweful and my lyrics can only get better... if someone else writes them... and I am not a great musician, neither producer nor singer.... still I am a liiiiiittttlllee bit picky :)...
  13. I Wanna Grow old with You

    my 2 cent, and it´s only a personal opinion based on my likes and dislikes. In the first line above you mentioned you hear it as a Pop Punk. So I assume you already have music for it. Ok, you said Pop Punk but even there the word "punk" is included. and with anything with "punk" included the lines seem to be a little...too nice. I assume you´d like to sing this for your wife for your 20th anniversery.. so therefore a Guitar and your voice should be enough ... and therefore the lyrics are sweet enough to do the trick...
  14. Hi guys, thank you all for your help. Very nice. OK, I have to think over a couple of lines but I don´t want to chance too much... also don´t want to lose the imagery BUT for sure, those things which are not logical or wrong, so almost everything that BUDDAH pointed out... should be fixed somewhen :)... Ahm...just a quick question to the natives here. Yeah, buddha pointed out that "in the street where I grew up was... " might be wrong and "on" would fit better. Sorry for that mistake. I was thinking "on the street" would literally mean that you are really ON the street, like a homeless person living ON THE STREET... .. and was thinking the line refers to the place where I grow up, and I did not grew up ON the street, I grew up IN it... but I think I misjudged the situation... happens all the time to me. My english is not so brilliant. Austrian School System with a combination with a lack of talent for language... So thank you very much... I would soooooooooo much need a co-writer...
  15. Outer Space Girl

    I think it´s good to read. Well, am not really good at lyrics myself, can only offer the "musician point of view" so I can tell you, what I already did. Good to read. But... you are using the same chords all over the whole song... could be good to have something else ... Indie Rock is mostly done only with a couple of chords... but because of the reason that they are "indie" they do something you don't hear on the radio most of the times... so like G-B-C-D ... so more or less the same chord progression that you use, only replace the A-Minor into a B-Major... makes the melody more intressting as well
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