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melahide

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  • Content count

    70
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About melahide

  • Rank
    Contributing Muse
  • Birthday 23/04/79

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    www.songcycle.org

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Austria

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Composer
  • Musical Influences?
    Brian Wilson, Dennis Wilson, Beatles, Frames....
  1. Paul, you have to understand. Couple of teenagers nowadays are way too busy to stick to one thing and are forced by their parents to take every opportunity. They want to be musicians, singers, models, dancers, writers, sportspersons... my little nice is playing Keyboard in a band, is in a dance-group, is doing dressage, swimming, volleyball... oh and works in the library... because she is passioned about reading... When I was young, long ago, there were just two things I was interested in. Girls and music. And we started music only to impress the girls, didn't´t we? I bought my first six string when i already was a teenager and practiced hours a day. Me and two guys from school had a band and we tried so hard..well we played until our fingers bled... took every opportunity to play live.. were practicing until we could not get it wrong... but we didn't´t had parents telling us "you can do everything, so do it..." Even the music is changing.... there are not really much "role models" out there "playing in a band"... the young people like DJ´s, Superstars, Solo Artists... and so on... can anyone here name a famous guitar player? I mean, someone who was established in the last decade? I can´t... it´s not cool to have a guitar solo on a commercial track...
  2. Hi guys, thank you all for your help. Very nice. OK, I have to think over a couple of lines but I don´t want to chance too much... also don´t want to lose the imagery BUT for sure, those things which are not logical or wrong, so almost everything that BUDDAH pointed out... should be fixed somewhen :)... Ahm...just a quick question to the natives here. Yeah, buddha pointed out that "in the street where I grew up was... " might be wrong and "on" would fit better. Sorry for that mistake. I was thinking "on the street" would literally mean that you are really ON the street, like a homeless person living ON THE STREET... .. and was thinking the line refers to the place where I grow up, and I did not grew up ON the street, I grew up IN it... but I think I misjudged the situation... happens all the time to me. My english is not so brilliant. Austrian School System with a combination with a lack of talent for language... So thank you very much... I would soooooooooo much need a co-writer...
  3. I think it´s good to read. Well, am not really good at lyrics myself, can only offer the "musician point of view" so I can tell you, what I already did. Good to read. But... you are using the same chords all over the whole song... could be good to have something else ... Indie Rock is mostly done only with a couple of chords... but because of the reason that they are "indie" they do something you don't hear on the radio most of the times... so like G-B-C-D ... so more or less the same chord progression that you use, only replace the A-Minor into a B-Major... makes the melody more intressting as well
  4. Hi Emily, yeah.. i think it´s a good one. near rhymes are well done...it´s good to read and has a good flow... anyway.. .first time that i read a lyric about menstrual cramps and I am not sure, if therefore a niche market is already established... but we will see...
  5. @John: a nice little Tribute to Graz and Styria.... not the first one who tried it though... I just keep on singing: G-R-A.Z you´re the history G-R-A-Z you´re the mistery *sing* :)...just kidding @Layla: Hmm... if it were your song you would.... OK... then write something about peace and cooperation... and I´ll take my guitar and my Paul McCartney Höfner 500 Bass and do something with it
  6. Hi, I was trying to do it "the other way around"... I was looking for a Lyricist to write words ... well, I received about 120 Emails from people, everyone was telling me how brilliant and good they were... some actually send lyrics which were... well, let me try to say it in a polite way... no, there is no polite way, they were just BAD... ok, maybe they were not bad, they did not match what I define as a good lyric. So .. I think, it´s the same as always - composers and musician´s are outnumbered by lyricists a hundred of times...
  7. My 2 cents/my point of view: A poem speaks for itself and stands on it´s own. A Song lyric works best in combination with music. But even "Poetry" on itself can be music - when you sound it out loud, there might be a rhythm, a metre and the sound of words... Myself I think, a poem needs to have a "higher standard" in words. Lyrics on the other hand have to be singable. So the choice of words is the most important thing. Every word delivers an own melody... so I still think, that people with a background as singer write way better lyrics ...
  8. Well... generally this would give a lot of opportunities to make some fun-word plays... but first things first... Woooh, last time I ordered something while Driving Thru (haha, got that one?) they asked something like "you want it with coke and fries?". But that would mean you´ve ordered a burger and you are adding extra stuff as a menu. So that does not really work. Emily line, which is good, suggests that you´ve already ordered fries and they ask you to have an extra coke. So both things does not work. But even your line "coke or just fries" would suggest, that they already know you there... and they recognize you there already... so maybe you could start this one of with a line telling us, that you come here several times each day... that would make perfect sense. What else can you do? order a Chicken Burger but when it comes to ask him out on a date (it´s on, i´ve learned that today, thank you buddha) you chicken out... it would be lovely to have more fast food metaphors on that one. So, there is an easy way to prove if a lyric will work: Just imagine it is YOU standing on a stage. With hundred of people in the audience, drinking beer, talking to each other, some of them are eating. Imagine you have a sing the lyric in front of a crowd of people (best test would be to imagine, the crowd would a biker-gang or prisoners ... would you feel confident to sing these lines to them? ...Would you? ... to be honest... I would not... BUT the topic has a good potential to make a funny comedy-song out of it. ... so my suggestion would be: Make it more fun... gd martin
  9. Most of the Songs use Kind of a "simple language" and cover the same topics and "repeating" lines. Everyone is doin this. Because Songwriters are not doin poetry, they are writing music. And most of the times the music is more important then the words. The music captures the Feelings - the words are just there to give a deeper Impact. Have a listen to the Beatles "And I love her". The music is sooo beautiful. The way of the melody and the arrangement goes, the sound of the voice of Paul McCartney... leave the words out and let Paul just sing "Dada Dada da da"... would have the same beauty. The lyrics itself are "simple language"... if he would write a lyric like this nowadays and post it on a Songwriter forum, people would just tell him: "No, not good, you have already mentioned that, we´ve already heard that, give us other Information, write something more deeper, give us more emotions" and forget, that it´s the music bringing in the emotions. And that´s the thing: Some washed up singers were seeking for money couple of decades ago, started "songwriting courses" or/and wrote books about "How to write a hit song". They were analysing what has worked in the past ... just by focussing on the lyrics and paying no attention on the music. That´s the wrong way. Many - or let´s say - most of the amateur songwriters read this stuff ... and make the same mistakes. They use too many pictures, emotions, write too sweet, write too complicated and always expect somthing, that is not goin to happen from Songs. Good music was written in the 50th and 60th - they did not had "songwriting books" or anything like that. They just did it. OK, in the 50th they were all obsessed - musicly speaking - by the same chord progression. C-G-Am-F... they used it in almost every song. So, YES, they were looking at what other people were doin and were trying to duplicate their work... So
  10. @Buddah: Thank you for taking the time reading it. So - yes, I have music for it - the link to a rough demo is above - the soundcloud link. Thank you for your imput - I have to rethink a couple of lines ...
  11. Hi, I am kindly asking for help :(. Working on a new song. I think the lyrics could need a little tweaking… Am not so sure about the title as well. “Every time when I travel home again” is one option, the 2nd one would be “In the street where I grew up” Well I managed to record a rough demo to give you an idea for the music, melody and the metre. .. ... Feel free to listen to it on my SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-784261513/every-time-when-i-travel-home-again-rough-demo1 “Every time when I travel home again” In the street where I grew up was a grocery store the owner old, unfriendly and cruel but right opposite layed our football field We used to be there right after school All the people were comming from everywhere So everybody was known as a friend It was a time when we said we´ll never change But somehow it all comes to an end Somehow it all comes to an end Now the grocery store and the football field got replaced by a big shopping mall Every time when I travel home again I don´t recognize my street at all A young girl lived further down the street With long brown hair and wearing a smile We were about the same age but never talked too much Well sometimes a few things take quite a while It took me five years to show up at her door and ask her out for a date When the time came she moved away from here for some reason I was too late for some reason I was too late Now the football field and the grocery´s gone while the girl didn´t answered my call every time when I travel home again I don´t recognize it at all But when I listen closely I can still hear her laughter When I close my eyes I´m there with my old friends What´s in my memory it will always stay No matter what other people say Now the girl is gone and at her parent´s house A big parking space got installed Every time when I travel home again I don`recognize my street at all
  12. -

    sorry
  13. Yeah, Graz is actually the place where I live...
  14. @: Paul: Thank you for taking the time for reading and for the feedback. You are right, I use the phrase "Save the earth" a looooooooooot, but they will be spread over the stereo-parameter in the mix. I know, Europe and the US have different point of views regarding the use of energy (and some other things). I grew up in Austria. Austria is known for having the safest nuclear power plant on earth. Well they finished it, but after a referendum it never entered serivice. It was rebuild into a Solar power plant couple of years ago. So Austria remains nuclear-free. We get our power supplies out of Wind, Water, Solar, Thermal Power, Bio-Mass and so on. Austria is strictly against nuclear power.. the US is talking about, if nuclear power or coal are the best options... so the way of an Austrian to write a lyric over energy and so on might be different to someone located in the US... Well, I will arrange this tune as a waltz in 3/4 time - in a waltz a line like "save the earth" might not be heard as a command, more like a suggestion @Hobo: I like your suggestion with the "we only have one".. thank you. I´ll use it if I may ...
  15. @John: Thank you for your post. Yeah, maybe I should have said "life-friendly planet UNTIL NOW". I am aware of the fact that there aber billions ov galaxies with billions of stars and planets... the universe is big. Until now we just live on earth :)... @kuya: Yeah, bad grammar. To be honest I tried to do this "can do/plan to" to have a rhyme that´s not at the end of the line... hmm... hmm.. @layla: Thank you - yeah it might be "off topic" but only in a way. But ya know, one politician is there not to respect the Paris agreement ... you know who it is? That´s why I mentioned the line "make the earth great again". You got it? Over all, there are just 3 nations who did not sign the "Paris agreement"... Syria, well, there is a civil war going on, I guess they have other things to worry about. Nicaragua, because the agreement was not "strict enough" for them, they already have 50 % of their energy produced without having the need of fossil fuels, so 50 % is green energy, and they are trying to be the first country going up to 100 %... and there is the US... "because the other countries are trying to ruin our economy"... ... bullshit. So in my opinion this verse is good enough @ron: Dunno.. every second we lose the size of a football field in the rain forrest by people cutting down these trees or burning it down ... Rain forrest cannot be replaced and is pretty much important for our world-wide system... But you are right, the "grants" rhyme was forced... could not think of anything else that goes on "plants"... hmm... @buddah: Hmm... I have to think about that one ... @Dawk: A metaphor? Complexy... what? I am Austrian. I cannot use a metaphor in english. Sometimes it is hard enough to explain it in my first language... .:( @barneyboy: Thank for your taking the time to make suggestions. Hm... "nuclear power plants are the cleanest..." hm... yeah and it´s save. Tell the people in Fukushima. Power Plants are "clean" in the first couple of years. But then there is always the problem with the radioactive waste. Sure, we could put it right into the ocean. Would you be going for a swim there? No you wouldn't´t ... You are right about many things, but in particular on one: "Nature will always win"... still we have to treat her with respect, it´s not our earth, it´s the earth of our children...