Well done to the winners! It was one of those months when I quickly resigned myself to a low placement, and just enjoyed what I was hearing. Here is my "field report" after going through all of the entries a couple of times each and then scoring:
Overall what a great set of songs - there were several times I was blown away by the songs on the first listen. By comparison my own song felt very weak, long and unfocused - well done everyone
The S - A Burden On Me
You have such an incredible voice, perfect for this genre and it already gives everything you do a great multiplying effect - I hope nobody else here takes offence but I think you could be Pro compared to most of us hobbyists. That said, this song didnt really wow me as much as some of your other songs. Looking at the lyrics I think it might be because the structure is a series of verses (no chorus or bridge) and maybe the song felt like it ran on one level
Donnie - When Daddy’s Drinking
I think there were some word choices which could be improved in this song (some lines felt a bit rushed) but I thought the song was from the heart. I have heard so many times that its hard for children of alcoholics to understand what is going on - why their parent will switch between extremes of freindliness and anger. I am not sure I have got to have that feeling since my parents were never drank, but this song connected me with those things I have read - so well done for touching on a truth.
Moso - Say You Wanna Be With Me
I am not sure if I am really hearig one guitar in the background or if there is a bass going on there too? If this is simple guitar playing it is very impressive.
I really enjoyed the stumbling mumbling, casual feel of the lyrical delivery. I think this song won a lot of points for "style".
Good song as is, but if I was collaborating with you I would be asking for a change - I wonder if you couldnt consider making the chorus a slightly different pacing - something which clearly distinguishes it from the verses rhythmically.
ScenesFromPalacio - Swimming
Your last 1+1 seemed like it was quickly put together - this one has a lot of crafstmanship in it compared to last time! I really enjoyed it- Very atmospheric. I think its power comes from the root chord that you return to between the sung sections. As soon as I heard it I thought "we have our winner" (but when I started going through the other songs I kept thinking "wow what a good song"!) - I like this one a lot. As always I have trouble with the lyrics and never really understand the song, I think if you are trying to improve your craft, that is the area - even if it means collaborating
Boy frevm - Runnin
A neat little piece of music, but not even quite a song for me because it was so short (nor could it be called a 1+1 because of the layered vocals). It represented a kind of modern sound. An interesting soundscape but not something I could get my teeth into
RoadDog - Bombs Away
You are going to hate me but my favorite bit was the intricate instrumental at the beginning - I thought it was a nice piece of musicianship and I was curious about how it would build - but it immediately went into strumming mode. Not bad but not as good as your electric songs for me
discatticus - The Price I Pay
The standout part for me was some of the lyrical ideas - It was a nicely delivered, pretty straightforward melody - but the use of "roosevelts", "bindle-stiff", the expansion of the theme in the 2nd verse - great stuff. The last verse wasnt quite so strong for me but lyrically this was my perhaps favorite of the competition- You obviously have this part of your craft down!
GocartMoz - The Dream
Thanks for beig the one entrant with a song longer than mine! It was also a better song than mine. I like the choice of a piano. Very nice vocal. I think this felt a bit long without the lyrics, but reading through the lyrics I think the song worked really well (if that mekes sense). I was a bit confused by the blast of air verse - it was like this guy is in a hospice and suddenly he his hoping for a nuclear blast to go off - it was a great image, but it didnt seem to fit anything. It did make me think and I enjoyed it!
Joan - Down from the Trees
I thought this had a hypnotic quality, not in a completely positive way - I felt like the music was a simple vehicle for the lyrics you were delivering, but because you had so much to say, I feel a bit more musical complexity might sweeten the pot for your listeners- a good example from this competition is Ironknee's song with many changes in a short length of time. Lyrically I thought it was interesting - there was room for interpretation, but I feel I got a good idea of the topic. I must admit my favorite, most vivid part was of the first couple of lines about the banishment from Eden but I enjoyed the lyrics.
lyD - Always You
Wow! I have been listening to your song craft develop for probably 10 years on this site, on and off - but this song is way above anything I have heard you write before - I loved it - the pacing, the delivery. The way you return to that "thinking about someone in the dark" in the first verse, and the second - Like the best songs, there is a naked truth in this track - not much more to say but "awesome job"!
PaulCanuck - Uber Love
As a song, this was brilliantly done. It had a campy / silly vibe to it, but the choice of chords is complex, interesting. The lyrics are catchy. The performance is tight.The chord choice is so good in the chorus that it felt like there was more than one voice singing. It is almost like I could imagine tom jones singing this in his prime - it has a 1960s whimsy to it. I feel like you could have sold this song to someone if the music industry hadnt changed dramatically in the last decade or two
Ironknee - His Eyes
Fantastic little riff with those harmonics. Nice jaunty intro. I thought the theatrical changes in how you sang the song made the very best of the 1+1 format - nothing was given any time to be predictable - it just kept switching up, and the whole song was really short just to compound the tightness of what you have done - really good, although I have to say the next song which played from your soundclick site was the beautiful "she's in love with someone else", reminding me of what a 10/10 song sounds like, and forcing me to recalibrate my scoring of this competition!