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Showing most liked content since 14/08/17 in all areas

  1. 1 point
    Hello; Here s new music. i wanted to do sth with a lot of dynamics and stuff...so... Let me know what you think always trying to keep the words simple - i m from Germany and most of my vocalbulary comes from other music...boom! thank you your Butcher porcelain all the porcelain that your grandma ever bought broken pieces on the kitchen floor and all the flowers in your garden dried out summer lighting empty highways lavender skies pale colours milky windows everywhere and all our kids toys colours faded in my hands love me when i say so only when i say so i ll never be the one you love i ll never be the one you love c’mon, c’mon, c’mon give me some c’mon i want some i ll never be the one you love cold mountain low on air but don t you think you ll feel love again and don t you think i m running back again into your arms love me the i say so only when i say so i ll never be the one you love i ll never be the one you love c’mon, c’mon, c’mon give me some c’mon i want some i ll never be the one you love
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  3. 1 point
    Looking for feedback on this tune. There are only three chords in this one....all of them major (I, IV & V). I know the recording needs some work......just want to know if the melody/lyrics/grove work OK before I proceed. Any input will be greatly appreciated. Stringin’ Her Along She doesn’t think that her heart can take it Doesn’t know if our love will make it She said you’ll never be faithful you’re not that kind of man And I don’t believe a thing you told me Everything’s the same ol’ story Used to trust you, my lover and my best friend Ch I told her sorry, I regret the lies that I told when we were lying in bed She said, I can’t forgive you all the things you’ve done Because I used to think the world spun around us Now I can see thru your lies, you’re not a love I can trust Thought I knew you, you said I was the only one She’s realized I’m jus’ stringin’ her along I told her lets just forget about her Thought our love was the thing that mattered She said, yeah, but my heart says you’re gonna cheat again Now you’re telling me you won’t romance her But I can read between your answers So I’m leavin’ before you fool around again Ch No she won’t believe a thing I tell her Now she reads between my answers So she’s leavin’ before I fool around again Cus she’s realized I’m jus’ stringin’ her along Now she’s realized I’m jus’ stringin’ And I’ve realized I’m jus’ stringin’ So we’ve realized I’m jus’ stringin’ her along Copyright 2017 ~ J. W. McMichael
  4. 1 point
    Ill Begotten Booty Unpublished Work, Copyright © R. Dobbins Verse 1: She was a smokin’ work of art Her boy kept breakin’ her young heart Gets off on makin’ her his bitch here every night Then he goes grabbin’ back door shorty Diggin’ on that hot and horny But she his girl would never put up any fight Pre-Chorus: So I swung in like a pirate and I took her by the waist Dipped her to the dance floor then we made a mad escape! Chorus: And now she’s ill begotten booty (ill begotten booty) Swept her off those pretty feet in high seas crime Snatched me up some sweet patootie Such a treasure of a beauty She’s ill begotten booty and she’s mine! Verse 2: The dancin’ crowd was hangin’ loose That dude was scarin’ up some troops All ‘bout that swearin’ up and down and turnin’ blue Came at me gruntin’ full of fury Swingin’ cutlass sharp and curvy But I was way too fast and ran him through (well that ain’t true!) Pre-Chorus: Then I held on like an anchor while I kissed her on the run Hoisted up the main sails and we sailed into the sun [To Chorus] Bridge: When you steal another’s prize They say you earn an evil curse But falling deep into those eyes I hollered, “Screw the universe!” And I don’t give a shit if everything gets worse! [To Chorus] Tag: Oh yeah, She’s ill begotten booty This pirate’s only cutie A treasure of a beauty and she’s mine, all mine She’s ill begotten booty and she’s mine! =Bob=
  5. 1 point
    Woah I love this, certainly could groove to it. Honestly not much to critique, sounds very professional and lyrics flow well.
  6. 1 point
    When you guys get home - you gotta write a song or two about it so the rest of us can hear about it
  7. 1 point
    This one came out fairly quickly, not sure about the bridge, I had some other ideas for a bridge, and these lines were originally part of the chorus. Suggestions welcome. Things Change V1 There was a statue in the park I walked by every day The said he’d been a great man In so many ways All of a sudden he wasn’t great anymore – things change V2 There was a man we laughed at His records and tv They said his work was always Classic comedy All of a sudden he wasn’t funny anymore – things change Ch Things change, not always for the best Things change, it’s just life’s test Some changes are good, put up with the rest Things change, things change V3 There was a man in an office Respected by all Then an imposter took over Started the fall All of a sudden there was no respect anymore – things change Ch Br You can bend like a willow, change with the times Or break like an oak in a storm, lose your life Ch
  8. 1 point
    My guy and I are headed down Saturday for four days in Walland, Tennessee, where an old high school friend has a farm in the totality path. We’ll see the total eclipse for, I think, a minute and eight seconds. Through eclipse glasses scored from a gift shop at the Smithsonian’s Air and Space museum. I had only just reconnected with my friend Susan a couple of weeks earlier, and had no idea she was in the path. Our place in Virginia will have something like 98 percent coverage, and that was going to be awesome enough. One upside of crossing the country every year by car is figuring out what friend I might take a detour to visit on the way. My parents moved away from the city where I’d gone to high school before I’d been in college for a year. So after Freshman year, I no longer had a home base to keep returning to and keep renewing those old friendships. And Susan’s not on FaceBook. If you have the chance to reconnect with someone from your deep past, I can only say this was profoundly moving and a billion times more than worth it. We were up late into the night talking about stuff, after four decades of very little contact.
  9. 1 point
    Thanks Joey, I think I fixed the last line of V1 now. Thanks Zach! I agree, Aerosmith style would work, although maybe the words are too cute. I was thinking more like Cherry Poppin' Daddies =Bob=
  10. 1 point
    Hi guys - this was my contest entry last month - looking to tweak. True story BTW Hello Piano Hello Piano May I sit with you a spell? My mind's been through a lot today But my heart has been though hell Your keys feel so familiar in my hands It's so nice to find you waiting here To comfort an old friend Oh, my Piano That funeral was tough The more I tried to hold my tears The more they wouldn't stop And people searching for a caring word Just echoed "Sorry for your loss" Their eyes fixed on the floor {pre} But you know what I came here for.. {ch} Let's play a song that lifts us far from here That frolics in fond memories, and lives in joyful years We'll leave this sad and senseless day behind For at least a little time At least a little time... {instr} So now, Piano Guess I'll close you now and go Though I'd love to spend forever here There are those I must console You've helped me keep this darkened cloud at bay Consumed me with your magic Just like every time we play So I'll be back here soon, to say.. Hello Piano Let's play a song that lifts us far from here That frolics in fond memories, and lives in joyful years We'll leave this sad and senseless world behind For at least a little time At least a little time
  11. 1 point
    finally! i couldn't comment on this yesterday for some reason - i agree with several of the other comments. very spooky and tons of great imagery!
  12. 1 point
    You have all the sugs you probably need. So I'll digress a little. I was just waxing introspective, pondering what I'm trying to do writing songs. They're often more personal than universal.....something I'm trying to overcome. Maybe I could say something important sometime. Not so much important to me as to others. We'll, I'll keep striving. But your lyric caught me in just the right state of mind. Here you have it......wonderfully personal and universal at the same time. Simple too......which is really not so simple to do. You just make it look easy. This one feels like it wrote itself.....no ego and no striving. Just a soulful flow thru of sentiment in the process of rising above grief. It's fascinating watching each other strive and grow at the craft. For me it's two steps forward and one to three steps backwards.....unless some real inspiration kicks in......something that is in short supply when so much is wrong with the world....not all of it caused by man. And I'm always battling my ego. It can really get in the way. But you're showing that once the craft starts to come more easily, as it seems to have in your writing, the more easily you turn the corner and do something that touches us.....something where ego has evaporated. I love it when the words start to take on added power thru the feeling that drives them rather than complexity. I love the variety of your songs lately....never know what to expect next. You had me when you said (sang) "Hello piano"....I knew I was in for a good lyric....especially considering its source. Just what I needed to see at a confusing crossroads in my own writing. Hello piano.......the perfect answer to: why am I writing songs? Very nice Paul!!!
  13. 1 point
    Thanks for the quick comments, I'll be off the grid for a few days and will let this simmer. SB - verse 2: Bill Cosby The problem I have with becoming too specific (naming names) is that lyrics can become old fast
  14. 1 point
    Hi Simon - I think you've got potential here, but need to put some strength into the story, and work on the lyric structure at the same time. "Little did they know" "The legend did grow" - we, the listeners, don't know, and what legend? The parents died, but there's really nothing about 'Evie Jean' - did she kill the parents? You've got to put that notion in, otherwise all we know is her birth and the lines in the chorus. Some verses have rhymes, others don't, and verse 3 has extra lines.
  15. 1 point
    Hi all. Been a while. Suffered from the tortue of starting many songs but not being able to finish any for close to 3 months! Anyway finally got one done ...let me know what you think! Stay Verse 1 As kids we're full of wonder They say youth is always wasted on the young But when this world grabbed ahold and tried to steal my thunder It gave me the strength to carry on Verse 2 This journey that we're takin' The water wears the stone Life is what you make it Come with me, and we'll be free Bridge For You For You Take My Hand and I'll scoot over Lay your face on my shoulder and Chorus Stay Stay When we're together, we are home Staaaay One day the lines on our faces Will map all the places that we've gone Stay I'll give you all I can Stay I'll give you all I am Verse 3 These scars that I've collected Mark each and every battle that I've fought Some say that they mark/count Each time I've been knocked over I know they mark the times that I've got up Bridge 2 For You For You Take My Hand and walk me over All the places where you grew up Chorus Stay Stay When we're together, we are home Staaaay One day the lines on our faces Will map all the places that we've gone Stay I'll give you all I can Stay I'll give you all I am Outro This journey that we're takin' The water wears the stone When you're stabbin' in the dark look up from where you are The stars will guide you home This journey that we're takin' The water wears the stone When you're stabbin' in the dark look up from where you are The stars will guide you home Stay Stay Stay
  16. 1 point
    Hi I think this is nice writing. Just one thing. I thought the use of the word "funeral" sounded a bit harsh to me. I wonder if it could be softened a little. Maybe something on the lines of "that service in the church, that walk from church" etc. The "sorry for your loss" line later in the verse makes the situation very clear. Just a thought.
  17. 1 point
    Hey Joey!! Always enjoy your tunes and voice! Man I'd love to get out on the dance floor and two-step with my lady to this one....highest praise I can give!!! Just a VERY GOOD old fashioned honky-tonk country tune -- OUTSTANDING!
  18. 1 point
    Hello and welcome! Great opening ditty...great vocal -- unique and infectious voice!!! The song overall doesn't have a hook -- I was expecting something big after this line: Mabe your heart has to die, before it can grow The build was great -- then we went back to the verse. Production is excellent -- well done fellas!
  19. 1 point
    Thank Zach, glad it's working for you. This one is put to music now. Managed to play a little piano this weekend. We'll see if I'm up to making a recording of it. Thanks everyone for the great feedback! =Bob=
  20. 1 point
    Thanks Snarky. I appreciate your reviewing the lyric. I made a few more tweaks to V2 and PC2 if you get a chance to look at them.
  21. 1 point
    It's our magical air. We'll sell you some if you want Paul
  22. 1 point
    Let me see if I can offer a valuable response since no one else has replied. I can’t say if your experience has anything to do with Canada itself, but I took the time out to ask a friend who is a vocal coach, because I found your post intriguing. This was her response, more or less: What happened is that relaxing and refraining from using your vocal chords did wonders for your voice each time you visited. She would recommend that you try relaxing more often, whether in Canada or elsewhere to keep your voice in optimum shape. Good luck and it would be interesting to hear about your experiences elsewhere or whenever you revisit Canada.
  23. 1 point
    The piano sounds so organic, I love it. The pauses are just right, and the strings work very well. Really really nice.
  24. 1 point
    I could not find any particular prominent instrument's melody lines. Obvious it has, guitar. But i think you have to put it up front any how. Overall sound great.
  25. 1 point
    Sorry guys - I thought I had responded earlier I'm not a shapist! I'm a well rounded guy and some of my best friends are square Cheers for commenting! Thanks! Yeah playing in the shallow water can be a splash Hi CJ - some really good points here - I'm still tweaking the bridge wording to fit the melody I have. Think I'll go with "I hope this won't sound too perverse". Thanks for putting in the time to review so thoroughly - all taken on board I can assure you Thanks Bob - paranoid would be a good rhyme - haven't figured out how to fit it in yet though without losing the "triangle" shape on that line. Thanks Mike - the chorus melody is upbeat and hooky, the verses are slow. At least that's how it is playing in my head. Thanks Joey. My wife makes delicious squares and I am fond of them .. but I digress. Cheers for the kind remarks Hi Ron - haha maybe a hairy chest I have no idea how to write from a female perspective so I'm not even going to try Good point! Hi kuya - interesting suggs - I'll have a think. Thanks for commenting. She liked the nape of his neck and the cut of his jib But he lost her affection when he started to fib Thanks JOe - looking 4 ward to hearing your version.. Yeah parallelograms might be tough - but kaya wants us to sing Pythagarean Thanks for that comment! Don't follow Ed Sheeran but like most people, I've heard of him
  26. 1 point
    I love it. It was one of my top voted lyric.
  27. 1 point
    Sounds like a country Elliot Smith! Really cool. I liked the idea of instruments coming in gradually, but it's such good playing I felt that they could be all there all the way through.
  28. 1 point
    Wow lovely everything, Jon Brion changes great. if were to change anything I would cut the last two syllables from the third line of the verses, "To Feed" "Carefree" feels like that can go melodically and lyrically. Also I think it deserves a better b section because the verses are downright incredible.
  29. 1 point
    It's really good. You have a nice voice, it reminds me a little bit of john newman. It's extremely professional sounding. I don't really have any specific feedback. You should be very proud of it.
  30. 1 point
    Nice one Joey. great laid-back vibe and the hook is really good. The only sugg I have is the 18-wheeler in the ditch verse seems a bit of a detour The singer doesn't seem to care if anyone is hurt, and then he says he'll be glad to be with someone who cares, even though he hasn't shown a care for the unfortunate trucker in the ditch Musically it's solid - great vocals, nice guitar and drum work nicely judged mix. And true to the genre. Well done Paul
  31. 1 point
    Super smooth delivery - reminiscent of the eagles - really nice and enjoyable to listen to! I am listening a second time and trying to break this down a little more. A minor nit is the vibe of the song has a kind of gentle, reflective tone - but as I read the lyrics is sounds like the guy is driving in an old truck - there isnt a sense of urgency or tension in the music itself, making the lyric and music an imperfect match. Its more like he could be in a motel in the evening after not quite being able to make it all the way back to his gal - that might better reflect the weariness of the musical tone Anyway - not much more to say - I think it sounded really good