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Showing content with the highest reputation since 11/08/18 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    Updated Again!!!! Aug. 17th I’m really close now! Thanks for all the help guys. Very much appreciated!! Thanks!! JOe Man Bun v1 You don’t like my man bun I hear you all complain Ya think it’s kinda girly Cause it’s not the same You don’t like my man bun It won’t go away Afraid of something different Hope it wrecks your day ch You’re afraid It makes you mad You don’t understand My man bun You look away Then you look back! Wanna run your hands n My man bun? v2 You don’t like my man bun I don’t like your brain Simple minded fools And you’re all so plain You don’t like my man bun So maybe look away? Ya tingle on the inside ‘Fraid you might be gay? (Pause) Or homophobic? ch br. I’m not a hipster, girly or feminine I’m confident, creative, masculine Different and smart, I’m my own man And if you want to fight (that’s right ha ha) I’d probably kick your ass Break A meme about a man bun? Really? It’s only hair Fade tops and buzz cuts I wouldn’t dare Ch
  2. 2 points
    V1 The lines across my face are growing deeper. The year ain't wearing very kind on me. The only love I knew...I couldn't keep her. Gone as far as gone could ever be. V2 I pour the last shot from a bottle. The one we opened up last New Year's Eve. We toasted us...and raised our glasses. I was a fool to ever leave. Chorus Now I haven't heard a word from you in ages. There's no reason you'd be calling me today. Tomorrow I'll be leaving here for Tennessee. Tonight I wish you were asking me to stay. V3 If I had paid closer attention, There's a chance I might have seen The grass in the field where I was standing Was already a lovely shade of green. Chorus I haven't heard a word from you in ages. There's no reason you'd be calling me today. Tomorrow I'll be leaving here for Tennessee. Tonight I wish you were asking me to stay. Bridge I never knew regret could break a heart. It pushes in, then it tears the thing apart. Chorus I haven't heard a word from you in ages. There's no reason you'd be calling me today. Tomorrow I'll be leaving here for Tennessee. Tonight I wish you were asking me to stay.
  3. 2 points
    https://www.dropbox.com/s/06s0kmb53n242pq/MusicReferenceGuide.pdf?dl=0 Created a songwritinng guide as a pdf file. Mostly about related chords chord progressions in their keys and chord variations and how to build them Section on scales and melodic intervals not perfect yet Feel free to use and pass on
  4. 1 point
    I don't write too many of these lyrics but this one is about remembering back to when my son was a tiny kid and all the fun we had. Buddy Boys Splashing through puddles (V) Feeding the squirrels Naming the birds In our own little world Playing with puppies Staring at skies Chirping like crickets Chasing butterflies Of all the good things in this world (CH) And all life's joys it's true: Nothing could be better 'n' Being buddy boys with you! Building a snowman Collecting toy cars Learning the planets Counting all the stars Kisses for your Mom Big boy hugs for Dad Your precious little laugh It always makes me glad Of all the good things in this world (CH) And all life's joys it's true: Nothing could be better 'n' Being buddy boys with you! Where will this world will take you? (BR) Oh we've still got some time Someday you'll be a grown up man But today you're Mom's and mine Of all the good things in this world (CH) And all life's joys it's true: Nothing else compares to Being buddy boys with you!
  5. 1 point
    Just came back from 5 days in Garrison New York, across the river from West Point Military Acadamy, attending "Writing a Song That Matters. It is hosted by Dar Williams, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dar_Williams https://www.darwilliams.com/ who I believe is one of the top singer songwriters going. Got to workshop and play several songs and collaborated with some awesome musicians and interacted with about 50 attendees and organizers and work shop leaders that included Suzze Roche ==one of the Roche Sisters https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzzy_Roche Heather Maloney http://www.heathermaloney.com/ Rick and Michelle Gedny I brought a song for vocal coaching and several lyrics from which I chose among workshops. The Garrison Institute was a christian monastery and is now a buddhist operated retreat conferance center on The Hudson River. Totally vegetarian which was challenging but easily adopted once I made up my mind to not mind Great experience. Here is the workshopped version of my July lyric entry Was workshopped with Raquel Vidal http://raquel-vidal-7vdb.squarespace.com/about/ Let the heavens rain on me ©2018 John Voorpostel My window panes are dark on this summer afternoon Cats and dogs are gathering into rivulets and pools I am tempted to lie down, feel my skin against the ground And face the rains, like all my flowers do Sometimes the heavens open up And rain all over me Nothing like a summer squall To set the heavens free So let the heavens set me free Let the heavens rain on me I guess I’m just addicted to the essence of growth Like water and sunlight and dark rich loam I celebrate each morning with the flowers in my garden, And feel the rains with all the seeds I’ve sown Sometimes the heavens open up And rain all over me Nothing like a summer squall To set the heavens free So let the heavens set me free Let the heavens rain on me Please don’t tell my garden that I love the sunflowers best They lord it over lavender, they’re taller than the rest And they’re first to catch the scattered drops of rain Sometimes the heavens open up And rain all over me Nothing like a summer squall To set the heavens free So let the heavens set me free Let the heavens rain on me
  6. 1 point
    Howdy. This is a nice lyric. It looks like you had a pretty clear melodic structure in mind for the chorus, so I'll leave that. I seem to trip up on this line a little; the "tides, of seas" part, specifically. As I read it, it seems not to flow as neatly as the other lines. I'd even say I'm not too sure what this line conveys, but you probably do. My first guess was, a previously dangerous situation was shown to be not so under the narrator's newer perspective? Beyond that, it seems you have a clear vision of the theme as the narrator finding comfort (or insight?), so as far as I'm concerned, I think it's fine overall beyond the line I mentioned.
  7. 1 point
    I'm getting U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" sound vibe in it. I love the chorus part most. 'Home' is always a strong word for me. In the song, it will resolve everything peacefully/perfectly.
  8. 1 point
    Song lyric by Rick Loder Sr How Do You Get The Blues Don’t drive a Cadillac Just an international truck Never had a heartache Don’t drink or do drugs How do you get the blues Tell me how do you get the blues Never been to prison My dog don’t bite Got my ass whipped in fifth grade But that’s my only fight My wife won’t leave She’s here to stay I’m not even tired Of seeing her every day How do you get the blues I got to know I got to know Tried to get a girlfriend See if she could make me blue Could not stand her What the hell do you do Tell me baby How do you get the blues this was written by my Hubby Rick Loder .. thought I would share here he would have liked that take care Theresa
  9. 1 point
    Hehe - good one JOe ! Just two minor suggs: I think a lot of the "You"s could be left out e.g. And I think you could get away with: Now I want to hear it Paul
  10. 1 point
    Hey Joe, Chorus part two suggestion you look away then you look back wanna run your hands n' my man bun V2 L8 'fraid you might be gay [the singer's not afraid-- the 'you' is] good topic idea. Fun catchy lines! I'd suggest singing it in an exagerated way that makes the guy you're singing to even more uncomfortable.
  11. 1 point
    I'm like tunesmith in that I notice what I think is clever language as a hook then write to the hook, or I will come up with some idea based on what I might come across. The idea is that it must spark something in me that motivates me to try and take it somewhere. Jonie mentioned something similar. They's sparks . I'm also with DonnaMarilyn in that's important Just got back from a sonwriter retreat and what struck me was the diversity in approach to writing a song. Proves the concept that there are at least a dozen ways to do something and no more than three of those don't work I think what's common is a creative spark that captures your attention and inspires you to write As to the title, it could be the hook. In any event it will come to you when it is done
  12. 1 point
    This is a song I released about a week and a half ago. It's called "Summertime Funk". It is the lead single to my upcoming second studio album titled Reminisce. The song is about the summertime and how great it is. There is also a verse in the song about my huge crush on Pam Beesly from The Office. Please check the song out and let me know what you think! Here is a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg5hX5beBJw
  13. 1 point
    Hi discatticus, Great song! Good lyrics, nice arrangement and harmonies. Like the lyric for example "Gone as far as gone could ever be". I find the electric guitar actually fits well. I like the unplugged nature of the song and lack of drums - but how about adding some percussion? Shaker maybe some bongos? The production can be better, but thats just polish - the raw song is great! Keep it up!
  14. 1 point
    Enjoyed this one. It's very clever but has the flavor of floccinaucinihilipilification as far as a song goes. Keep writing. Very creative.
  15. 1 point
    Hey! Really cool tune -- great story and a fun listen. Potential is HUGE. For me there are two things keep this from reaching it's full potential: 1. Production -- I hear sour notes once in a while and overall muddiness to the recording. A cleaner recording of the parts, and some high pass filtering etc... would REALLY bring this to life. 2. Vocals -- This is no slight on you -- you certainly sing well enough to get the feeling of the song across, but like me -- it's not your strong point. I'd get someone with a strong voice to do this -- of course make sure they can match the emotion --then there's no telling where this song can go. GREAT SONG!
  16. 1 point
    I like the style feels quite breezy but I agree SB the thing that was the sorries and love sections
  17. 1 point
    Images and wording are interesting. Lyrics don't need quotations and are seldom centered. The reader should know what this song is about in the first line or two. The reader has no clue until "And darling I'm so sorry..." There's too much apologizing and images. A chorus with the hook "Sorry Lover" and trimming would help focus this. Good start! Everyone reads lyrics differently. This is just my opinion. See what others have to offer,
  18. 1 point
    Övergår till engelska så dom inte flippar ut hehe. Nice to see more swedish guys here. Yeah it looks and sounds cool think I am gonna have to get one too. You got som really cool songs on your soundcloud.
  19. 1 point
    You have done a great job here.The lyrics are excellent,very good rendition and musical dynamic, the comp is well balanced, classic but with a personal harmonic touch that makes it different. I love the fragile singing. The only weak point to me is the solo part. It's messy, confused, not in time. not in the mix, in my view. The spot to work on to improve your great song.
  20. 1 point
    This was a very well done recording, and good song. Love the lyrics, vocals, and musicianship. I really have no criticisms, except to say that at times I wanted the chorus to be a bit longer: In other words just repeating, for example," Gimme a few more weeks with you I’ll be walking on the seedy side of heaven" before you sing "the way that I met you". But that's very minor. Good song! Bret
  21. 1 point
    No frets, it's painted that way, for guidance I guess. Action is high and played with a slide according to tradition. Imma bring the Delta to Stockholm. 😎😋 (No I won't but I'm very fond of pretending I've got some mojo, until I start playing that is.)
  22. 1 point
    She Moves Through the Mist ©2018 Robert George BMI She moves through the mist After dark along a lonely, quiet stretch of beach And she walks between the grains of sand where time can’t reach Does she wear a silver gown each night Or a thin cloak made of sheer moonlight She moves through the mist Once I thought I saw her lifted skyward in the dark Borne away upon a shooting star’s enchanted arc And it seemed like ev’ry cresting wave Was the cross above a sailor’s grave Legends say that shipwreck was a myst’ry Men and mounts were lost within that galleon And her lover galloped into hist’ry Riding bareback on a drowning stallion Now she moves through the mist And no man of flesh and bone can be her paramour She awaits the phantom kiss of her conquistador She believes he’ll meet her on the shore And they’ll ride the night forevermore Yes, she moves through the mist After dark along a lonely, quiet stretch of beach She moves through the mist She moves through the mist…
  23. 1 point
    Good comments, yes a very quick write/first draft. The title came to me first. 'Into Your Hole' definitely won't work as a title/hook.
  24. 1 point
    When you're alone When you're alone Doesn't it take an army To phone home Doesn't it feel The war is lost Just for a meal At such a simple cost Maybe Crazy Heard it once before Maybe just maybe We have won the war When you're alone Even still I think of you and the morning thrill Nothing to gain Nothing still When I try to Heard it once before Your not punk rock You retain the floor When you're alone
  25. 1 point
    Practice. More practice.
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