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  2. RocknPop

    A Beautiful Lie.

    I really liked this one. There is indeed a ton of potential to keep polishing it ('polishing' because it's really good as is). I would think of how to play a bit with the instrument arrangement to emphasize these lines: "And now she wants to make me... a stranger to my song" "and I fell for it.... every single time" They have the potential of being slightly more impactful based on the story. Last thing is - perhaps take out an instrument from the first verse and leave it in the second verse to add more dynamics to the song. Hope this is helpful!
  3. iggy

    AUGUST LYRIC CONTEST

    August Lyrics Contest The timeline is........... • Entries will be accepted now through Midnight Tuesday August 28 • Voting (scorecards) will take place Wednesday August 29 through Tuesday September 4 Midnight • Don't start voting until I officially post the scoring instructions. • I'll post the results on Wednesday September 5 Here are the rules: 1) It has to be an original lyric that has not been posted on this site previously 2) Send your submission to me (iggy) via private message and I will post it anonymously on your behalf. The names of each lyric writer will be revealed at the end of the contest. 3) Once you enter your lyric, you cannot change or revise it, or submit another in its place. 4) I will submit it as is, so watch your format and your spelling. I will not change any of your errors after the lyric has been posted. 5) If you enter, you must submit scores for the other lyrics when the submission portion of the contest ends. All Musers are welcome to submit songs as contestants or score the songs as non-contestants. I may enter a lyric of my own, just for scoring purposes - It cannot win, will not have scores posted, and will immediately be disqualified once voting has completed Any questions or problems should be sent to me (iggy) via private message (PM). *******ENJOY*******
  4. Johnnyuk

    Truth Tea.

    Hi, This is a song i wrote about a good friend of mine. He likes to tell the truth on forums hence the title Truth Tea cos he drops it on people all the time. lol See what you make of it. Johnny
  5. Hi, The pitch comments or out of tune comments etc are honest and fair enough BUT they can easily be fixed if you just watch a few youtube videos on diction. So that will help you to fix those issues out 100% It's also new so a vocalist needs time to learn where to breath or when to just use diction and when to modulate your voice. Again that will come with time. It's a good song with a lot of potential so you are doing just great at this early stage so keep working on it. Johnny
  6. Today
  7. Johnnyuk

    Dumber

    Hi, I loved this! For me you should stick to the subject of getting dumber everyday. Lyrically you wandered off with the omelet lines. They were ok but the songs message is about people getting dumber everyday. You could talk about trashy tv shows like jeremy kyle etc or tv shows made for the masses like the kardashians or those trashy housewives of new york or atlanta tv shows. There is a plethora of information online on youtube about dumb people so i would check those out for lyric inspiration ideas. I loved the opening lines and the simple melody and the vocal horn was not only funny but inspiring. So to me you have a great song idea here that i would develop more and more. Great work! Johnny
  8. NuclearWinter

    Song lyrics but no music! Can you help?

    Look. I could help cowrite and play guitar for ya, but I live out in Florida. Not sure if that's close to you or not, so...
  9. Johnnyuk

    The Meanest Man of All

    Hi, This is a solid tune with a great mood to it imo. Your vocal sounds great to me! Diction is pretty good throughout but i did feel that in parts that you were a little nervous. That's perfectly normal because a new song takes around 6 weeks to work out the diction, to get comfortable with it and where to take a breath and modulate your vocal tones etc. So i would practice it more, just have fun vocally with it trying out different ways you approach the melody and vocal delivery and pick out the ones that are the strongest. You'll know when you hear them but like i said it takes time to get the vocal delivery down. I listened to it the whole way through so it's a very good song imo that kept me entertained throughout. Great work! Johnny
  10. NuclearWinter

    Looking for cowriting

    Send me some lyrics, and I'll decide if I can do anything with em. Auburndalemail@gmail.com
  11. Hi, This is a good solid music structure that can easily lend itself to any lyric/story that you want to add to it. Having said that please be aware that when writing in this way eg: music structure first then adding lyrics and melody later on. Doing it this way will also mean that your original music structure will change as you add in a vocal. I say this because it is the vocal that dictates what the music backing does. So just be aware of that when you start including your vocal lines. Some parts are very solid in this music structure and other parts are weaker imo. This is normal when songwriting. You are in control of this entire music structure so only YOU know what is weak in places and what is strong in places. So i would keep what you have as it is right now. Save it. BUT then make different versions. eg. ok i'm going to remove all the weak sections only leaving the very strong sections. Doing this you are creating a piece of music that is always going to be strong not only to your ears but to us the listeners ears. Keep weeding out the sections that bring or add nothing to the song and over time you will see that by eliminating the weaker parts you leave yourself open to newer and stronger ideas because you are now forcing yourself to match all the other strong sections in your music rather than saying oh that will do etc... This music is very strong in parts and like i said weak in some other areas. But by cutting out the weaker parts you are going to end up with a very strong song 100% I hope this helps. Johnny
  12. She Divines My Tears ©2018 Robert George BMI When the clock chimes and the Witching Hour starts Shadows of remorse return to stalk my heart The bottle by my chair is like an hourglass Its sand becomes a land without a blade of grass Though the gin is dry It can’t dry my eyes Cos I’m cursed to never forget After all these years, she divines my tears She divines my tears From the dust of regret O if I had not betrayed her magic kiss Then the night would not betray my heart like this Cos she visits me and draws a salty stream From a barren desert of repentant dreams Though the gin is dry It won’t dry my eyes Cos I’m cursed to never forget After all these years, she divines my tears She divines my tears From the dust of regret Sadness is the deepest well When it’s dug by sin Mem’ries cast a spell on me I know time will tell on me When the night rolls in Though the gin is dry It can’t dry my eyes Cos I’m cursed to never forget After all these years, she divines my tears She divines my tears From the dust of regret O she divines my tears She divines my tears…
  13. PaulCanuck

    The Turd That Got Left Behind

    Thanks guys - don't know why this keeps floating to the top
  14. Hi all, Just wrote this song idea - just the 1st verse and chorus added so far. Feedback welcome on what I have so far: MIRROR (Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton) A face in the mirror Looking back at you It’s a poor reflection of What you’re going through It’s tryin’ to tell you Forces propel you Closer to your doom Closer to your tomb You can’t see past your reflection Mirror mirror on the wall Will you find the wherewithall To change the reflection in mirror
  15. spanishbuddha

    Dear Hunter

    Originally I was blinded by the title. At first, I kept seeing....."Deer Hunter" before reading. Then my eyes got a reality check. But I have to ask, a play on words? I don't know if that was your intent, as it sounds as if the main character here is still searching for or longing for this guy despite this being a response in a letter to a guy named Hunter. Clever if it was a play on words. Thus far I like this one the best of the three posts you've shared. I could picture someone like Taylor Swift singing it. The meter is a little different between the verses but I don't see that as a problem as I could be wrong in saying this but I recollect perhaps in one of your other posts an interest in indie songs, but not completely sure that was you. In any event, very nice. It's expressive and sounds heartfelt. A couple of minor suggestions below to use or lose. 1st Chorus: "Cuz I can't keep you off my brain" - Maybe?........... Cuz I can't get you outta my brain or Cuz all you do is fry my brain - Off my brain doesn't sound right. I know it's not literal but still. (Bridge) I've never grown So attached To anyone So fast You'll always stay My long lost friend And maybe one day You'll find me again In place of these lines 4 lines above which state the obvious that has already been suggested in the point of view's continued longing for and interest in Hunter, consider interjected something that explains the context of their time together. Lyric starts off with a guy and gal on a bus ride together during the summer. Is this a school bus? Are they at camp together? Are they hanging out and took a local line to town? This might be a good opportunity to bring that beginning into context by adding more detail to the nature of either their meeting up and or friendship and again in its contexts which is not quite clear other than they shared or spent time together one summer and now the point of view is communicating by letter because of separation or distance that is now between them. She's anxious for a response. It's unclear whether the boy has responded at all and or has not in the past since their time together ended. I guess, what I am saying is.....I would like to know or understand...........feel what it is the main character is feeling. What made that time together with this guy so special? This too can be accomplished in the bridge. Not sure about the outro but I may feel differently about it as I revisit to read again. I often do as even the viewer's perspective can change on something read a second or third time. Anyway, I enjoyed the write. Just a few thoughts. Thanks for sharing
  16. NuclearWinter

    Perfect Moments

    Okay, I only have one problem with this. It should say: I got memorial scars Though I never fought a war Makes it sound better, as well as flow more
  17. NuclearWinter

    Distance

    Hey, BD. Welcome to the Muse. If you want, since you already said you don't write or play music, I could work on something for your lyrics...
  18. ...and a big welcome goes out to new member "PornosexEn"! 👍

    Can't wait to see your contributions to The Muse ;)

  19. NuclearWinter

    Empty Bottles

    This is all I have so far. Please help. I really just need the chorus... Verse: Empty bottles and broken dreams Falling apart at the seams Seem so happy; no one knows You wear that smile just for show Wear long sleeves to hide your wrists And all the marks from his fists Sometimes angels have to fall But please please please don't end it all...
  20. spanishbuddha

    Rhymes 8

    Unanswered messages sent by email Make some wonder if they even got read Maybe the recipient was struck by lightning Hit by a car or in the worst case is dead Next Topic: Toys
  21. fabkebab

    Man Bun

    please let me know when you put this to music! I have a friend who posts secretly taken pictures to a kind of facebook blog "man buns of australia" and I want to post a link to your song!
  22. Onewholovesrock

    Update on Neal James

    For this post I’ll assume you are using other musicians/vocalist beside yourself? Obviously a demo mill provides that service for you. I agree with Neal. They sound like demo mill recordings. Which are horrible in my opinion. If you want original sounding material a local studio is the way to go. But you’ll need to find good musicians. Unless of course you already know some that will offer their services at a reasonable fee. I’m sure a local studio will have some names of good local musicians. Theses studios mostly charge by the hour. So it would be beneficial to have your musicians at least somewhat familiar with your song before the sessions. I don’t know your exact intentions for these demos. But like Alistair mentioned. They should probably be ready for airplay. The best they can be. Then your songs could be used for other things besides demos. Licensing etc. Once you have a great sounding song and if people think it’s good. You’ll have better luck finding musicians that want to work with you. And you’ll probably be able to pull some of their services for free. Good luck! 👍
  23. Mr Distraction

    The Turd That Got Left Behind

    I'm still smiling at this one Paul Hahahaha so friggin addictive I tell ya! Honest I'm ear to ear now 🙂
  24. Mr Distraction

    Dear Hunter

    She does🙂
  25. Mr Distraction

    Distance

    I like this BD, I really can relate to it apart from the good riddance! Personally I mean! I cant offer you advice like these guys but go with your heart on it ok👊 Bailey
  26. Alistair S

    Update on Neal James

    I'm glad he turned out to be OK! I'm not an expert but I'm not sure about the usefulness of "demos" these days. I think, usually, the demo is the actual product and, if you want it placed (in a move, for example) it needs to be ready. If you are looking for an old-fashioned type of contract, having a following already is pretty key. Two thoughts - you could post up one of your songs for feedback in the Feedback Area and see where people think the focus needs to be. You could get in touch with a local studio and give that route a try - they aren't so expensive these days and, even if you don't see yourself using them again, you could learn something in the process?
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