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  2. Gijs

    Journey (Demo)

    Hi Alex, I think this could be a nice song but it's hard to tell what you are aiming for without the voice being present. Is their a way for you to sing over the song?
  3. This is very well done I think. I like the way you alter the piano accompaniment very subtle to fit the words. If you realy don't know nothing about German than you did a good job with the pronounciation. I hope you can find the time or the person to perform the piano part on a nice piano, because this lied definitly deserves it!
  4. Hi Moptop, thanks. If I find some time I'll work on the mix with all of your suggestions in mind. When I repost it here I'll post the English translation of the lyrics as well.
  5. Today
  6. Willsx13

    In Time

    I made some changes to verse three. What do you think. It's in the second redo.
  7. Neal K

    Angry Words (The Fight)

    A basic beginner's rule to songwriting is to maintain the same point of view throughout the song. So, if it starts in first person, it should remain in first person. If it starts in third person, it should remain in third person. This isn't just picky grammar. Maintaining a consistent point of view is important because it helps the listener understand who the characters are: I, she, you, me, us, etc. The point of view in this song bounces around. In the first verse, the singer is addressing the subject of the song directly: Door slams, you’re leavin’ me alone But in the chorus, the point of view abruptly switches and you are no longer addressing the subject directly: She’s gone, You switch back and forth throughout the song, from calling her "you" to calling her "she." Because you wrote it, you know that you are talking about the same person. But the listener might not. It actually sounds like two different people.
  8. I like it. I love the video. Is it possible for you to post and English translation of the lyrics? I think that would help a lot. My only suggestion is the vocals are too hot and the music needs to come up in the mix. Thanks for sharing. Dominick/Moptop
  9. moptop

    Home is You

    You guy's have outdone yourselves with this one. Absolutely wonderful.!!! Dominick/Moptop
  10. moptop

    Where Were You

    Polly, this is a very sweet song all the way around, vocally and musically. I love the guitar work and your voice is wonderful. Thanks very much for sharing your great song with us. Dominick/Moptop
  11. songbird52

    Where Were You

    Thank you!! You make me feel very encouraged to write more songs!
  12. sumonicky

    Where Were You

    I keep listening to this and it just gets better. Please keep writing and uploading! This is a tough one to follow though- like cyndi's trademark true colors, Stevie's landslide and Joni's both sides now.
  13. Lazz

    Music First

    Repostage: YAY!!!!!! Had to convert the little sucker into a jpeg. Lucky you mentioned we don't ban pictures. Yada yada You do the funky toe and whatever way we go The funky funky toe gets found down round the high low They do the funky toe and ev'rybody you know Are people getting to show their funky toe Put down your foot and tell your baby “No, no!” “Just those in the know can funky toe” Go lose your blues, just move, kick off your shoes And do the funky toe - we wriggle ‘em to and fro The funky funky toe (the whole world, that’s what I heard) Was started long ago: a family memento Now ev’rybody can do the funky toe.
  14. Jimpate

    Angry Words (The Fight)

    Great suggestions 9thSt. Thanks. Angry words exchanged tonight I don't remember why. Slamming door. You're leaving again Cause I’m sorry doesn’t seem to satisfy.
  15. lyD

    September Song Contest

    Time by David Butler There was a time when it was perfect to be there by her side A time when it was worth it to live someone else's life A time when she would hold you as a lover and a friend A time you thought would never end There was a time when you felt wanted You didn't feel afraid A time when you weren't haunted by mistakes that you had made A time when all you needed was to feel her warm embrace A time - a different time and place CHORUS Time takes its toll In time I guess you'll know Why there came a time to let her go There was a time when she was changing right there before your eyes A time when she would blame you as she fell between the highs A time when you felt hopeless; you just couldn't slow her down When time wouldn't hang around CHORUS Time can be a healer. Time can make you see And what once broke your heart becomes a fading memory Time is all that's left then; the time that you both shared Now it's time to start again CHORUS
  16. Yesterday
  17. 9thStLine

    Angry Words (The Fight)

    The music sounds good Jim. A good grinding southern rock vibe, as I hear it. Good guitar work/ tone. Where are the vocals? My only comment on the lyric is that you begin in v1 with both partners exchanging angry words, but the rest of of the lyric it appears its all on the singer. For focus, you could rewrite v1. Line 2 is a well worn cliche anyway. Bonus if you could give some idea why "I'm angry."
  18. the pure

    dag gone

    you know, its funny you say that. the premise of the song was basically your last sentence. i gave the song that title because i feel the world can feel like how the instrumental feels. just a rush, and im trying to convey a message amidst the madness, then here comes my friend. i asked him to freestyle a verse and he came up with that. it kind of countered my first verse and then ended up just spewing madness over the madness, its also his favorite phrase so that just adds to the comic value as an inside joke for us. "a minefield of useless information"
  19. the pure

    Home is You

    great song. delivery could be a little smoother but its fine how it is with a little engineering
  20. the pure

    New demo. Any feedback please

    its a demo so cant really complain about the mixing but its really off. still sounds great though. i would write a song to this. i love this style of production.
  21. the pure

    Where Were You

    i like this a lot. this is a timeless song
  22. the german language seemed too harsh to me at times but this is great. and the music is a bit off as you said but you're right on point with where you're going.
  23. the pure

    pure purple paradise

    that means a lot, really! im aiming to increase the flow of creativity in music. in a productive way
  24. the pure

    pure purple paradise

    noted: sticking with it. thank you☺️
  25. HoboSage

    September Song Contest

    In case you were wondering, the gal in the song by Dave (GocartMoz) posted above, is the sister of the gal I sing about in this song. <heh-heh> Psycho Bitch * If you click on the music player icon that looks like a musical note with horizontal lines to the right of it, you'll bring up the lyric.
  26. Alistair S

    Music First

    I'm flummoxed too! I can see it has uploaded. I can download other pdfs from the same place. It's just this file! I'll keep checking. We don't ban pictures, by the way. Edit: It works for me now. It seems that I didn't have the right permissions to download attachments as an Administrator. Pffft. It would still be nice if a pdf would embed nicely (rather than needing a download). I don't think they can though
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