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Neal K

March Lyric Contest

58 posts in this topic

TIME TO SUBMIT YOUR SCORES TO ME VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE

- If you enter, you must provide a score or your own lyric will be disqualified.

- Vote for all lyrics except your own on a scale of 1 to 10, whole numbers only (any decimal places or half scores will be rounded down).

- Your lyric gets the average score you gave the others.

- To Be eligible to vote/score in a Muses Muse Lyric contest if you are not a contestant, you must have been an active member for at least 30 days and have a minimum of 10 posts within the previous month.

- Get your scores to me by the end of the day, Friday, March 25

- Winners will be announced on Saturday, March 26, 2011.

Finally, a request to all voters. Please score in keeping with the spirit of the contest. Your votes should reflect not only how you feel a lyric stands up against the competition but how it stands up on its own. In other words, it is not in keeping with the spirit of the contest to isolate a favorite lyric by scoring it very high while scoring all other entries lower than they may deserve.

Here are the lyrics:

Bluebird

Afraid to Open My Eyes

Who Is Free

Love has Room Enough

L'affaire à un café de Paris

Film Noir

Branded by your eyes

I See Now

Love Don't Work That Way

Reckless

The Moon

Tonight I'm Gonna Feel Bad

The River

I Remember Music

Don't tell me things will be OK

It Doesn't touch me

Just a Dream

Sunday Night Song Affair

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Bluebird

Chorus:

If I was a bluebird

Life would be a breeze

Laughing at the people

From the top of the trees

Singing every morning

“It’s a beautiful day”

Then at night my ladybird

And I would fly away

Verse 1:

I wonder why I run so hard toward the finish line

For every step ahead it seems I fall two steps behind

Giving all I’ve got to try and beat the daily grind

And somehow rise above it all to find some peace of mind

Chorus:

If I was a bluebird

Life would be a breeze

Laughing at the people

From the top of the trees

Singing every morning

“It’s a beautiful day”

Then at night my ladybird

And I would fly away

Verse 2:

I wonder why I try so hard and chase after success

For every fool I entertain I find ten unimpressed

Giving in is easier than fighting all the stress

Of searching high and low for twigs to build a bigger nest

Chorus:

If I was a bluebird

Life would be a breeze

Laughing at the people

From the top of the trees

Singing every morning

“It’s a beautiful day”

Then at night my ladybird

And I would fly away

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Afraid To Open My Eyes (in case you disappear)

Verse 1

I still go down to the river

Lie on our soft green bed

But now when shadows fall over me

I'm afraid to turn my head

They may be only clouds

Shielding the summer rays

And not you leaning over me

Tempting with your playful gaze, playful ways

Chorus 1

Afraid to open my eyes

In case you disappear

Although they say it's over

that's still painful to hear

Minutes stretch into hours and

hours I've learned to fear

'Cause each time I open my eyes

you disappear

Verse 2

I still hear the sound of voices

Far off but coming my way

Like when you came to find me

When temper had led me astray

Tempted to turn my head, is it

Strangers on holiday?

Or you calling out to me

To find me like yesterday, how I pray

Chorus 2

Afraid to open my eyes

In case you disappear

Although they say it's over

that's still painful to hear

Minutes stretch into hours and

hours I've learned to fear

'Cause each time I open my eyes

you disappear

Break

This place is me and you

I come here often - do you?

I come here often, to be alone with you

Do you? - do you?

Chorus 3

Afraid to open my eyes

In case you disappear

Although they say it's over

that's still painful to hear

Minutes stretch into hours - oh

Hours I've learned to fear

'Cause each time I open my eyes

Oh each time I open my eyes

You disappear

You disappear

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Who is Free?

V1

while awaiting futures mystic gate to open

the setting sun ends another day

There’s a saddened soul to whom I turn to

who’s out of touch with life and time

Bridge1

as he answers a simple question

he sees no reason nor hears rhyme

Chorus

And he’s unstable on shifting sand

while drowning in changing seas

asking “who knows what I am”

wondering, wondering

who is trapped?

and who ?

who is free?

V2

when life’s project is finally emptied of all meaning

and idle dreams leave lesser souls than mine

I will struggle to find the freedom of ancient times

but in cryptic words meaning can often hide

Bridge2

but within despair we are assaulted

yet our bodies yearn for an escape

Chorus

And he’s unstable on shifting sand

while drowning in changing seas

asking “who knows what I am”

wondering, wondering

who is trapped?

and who ?

who is free?

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Love Has Room Enough

Verse 1

I woke up to bird songs this morning

Mockingbird was singing his repertoire

A concerto of emotion sent waves crashing

Pounding my heart’s eroded shore

Verse 2

I don’t know what kind of game life is playing

Sometimes I don’t know if I can go another day

But I do know there will be celebrating

When time’s tide takes me away

Chorus

Fond memories of you fill my empty spaces

I know the past is not where I should be

I close my eyes and see smiling faces

Love has room enough for you and me

Bridge

I’ll march on until I reach that final hour

For your sake I’ll walk tall and proud

Leaning on the kind mercies of our Savior

Listening for His Trumpet to Sound

Chorus

Fond memories of you fill my empty spaces

I know the past is not where I should be

I close my eyes and see smiling faces

Love has room enough for you and me

Tag

Yes, love has room enough for you and me…

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L'affaire à un café de Paris

V1:

Ten years ago I was living in Paris

Having lunch at a sidewalk café

Then out of nowhere a woman approaches

She asks to sit down, I reply "s'il vous plait"

She picks up the menu and orders

Quiche Lorraine and a modest Chablis

I look at this woman and wonder

Who on earth might she be?

CHORUS 1:

She had aubergine lips and violet eyes

An expression suggesting embarrassed surprise

An irresistible mystery

But why was she sitting with me?

V2:

She toys with her food and takes a small bite

Surveying the tables and chairs

Turning to me, she touches my cheek

Then looks back at her plate and just stares

She opens her mouth, bites her lip

Takes a sip of her wine

I hold my tongue awaiting my moment

Anxiously biding my time

CHORUS 2:

She had aubergine lips and violet eyes

An expression suggesting embarrassed surprise

An irresistible mystery

But why was she sitting with me?

Might she be attracted to me?

BRIDGE:

She catches her breath

Finally speaks

Whispers softly “pardon”

She straightens her dress

Then gets on her feet

And like that she is gone

(Half) V3:

Now I no longer reside there in France

But often think back to that day

And the mademoiselle now haunting my thoughts

My affair at a Paris café

CHORUS 3:

She had aubergine lips and violet eyes

An expression suggesting embarrassed surprise

An irresistible mystery

But why was she sitting with me?

Might she still be thinking of me?

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Film Noir

Camera rolls, Shows the woman’s eyes

Runs out in tears you catch his gaze

you don’t need to hear everything she says

She’s out of there

The musics comes in, he leans back in his chair

Film noir, tired of being the star, film noir

The film goes on, smoke from his cigar

He lowers the blinds, as she drives away

Each scene precise in shades of grey

Seen this part

So many times I’ve learned it off by heart

Film noir, tired of being the star, Film noir

Old movies are best ,watching them alone

shafts of light in the dark

my life portrayed cold and stark

Ceiling fans

these four walls, Cupping my face in my hands

Film noir, tired of being the star

Film noir, tired of being the star

Film noir

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Branded by your eyes

You walked in

I stepped out

On to the edge of darkness

I never knew what love was all about

There you were

Pretty as a picture

From across the room a fixture

That took me by surprise

And stole my heart

Chorus:

Before I could shake it

I wasn’t gonna make it

You had me hooked and mesmerized

And when I saw you staring

I lost all my bearings

And fell victim to

And was branded by your eyes

You had the eyes of Medusa

You could turn a man to stone

With one look I knew I’d never be alone

In my mind I could see

There’s only you and me

And I couldn’t wait until I got you home

You make a hard man easy

I went from tough to tender

I melted right into those eyes of yours

I raised my arms, surrendered

These days I still remember

How I was branded by your eyes by that door

You walked in

I stepped out

On to the edge of darkness

I never knew what love was all about

There you were

Pretty as a picture

From across the room a fixture

That took me by surprise

And stole my heart

Chorus:

Before I could shake it

I wasn’t gonna make it

You had me hooked and mesmerized

And when I saw you staring

I lost all my bearings

And fell victim to

And was branded by your eyes

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I See Now

I was gaining the world, hand over fist

Starving for a reason to exist

Life left me temperamental

And love stopped short of monumental

I was thinking that life was good as is

Blinded to my need for love in it

You changed a determined mind

And cupid’s arrow aligned, just in time

Chorus

I see now

There’s no price tag

On the better things in life

I see now

I deserve

the better things in life

You worked a miracle

Come on, take your bow

‘Cause I see now

I am watching day come to a perfect end

Lying with you as twilight suspends

Now I know it’s elementary

and love is life’s admission fee

Chorus

I see now

There’s no price tag

On the better things in life

I see now

I deserve

the better things in life

You worked a miracle

Come on, take your bow

‘Cause I see now

Bridge

Because of you,

I have a clue to what the hype is all about

feeling foolishly sentimental

Wanna climb on the rooftop and shout…

Yeah, hey, hey, yeah, hey hey, yeah, hey hey, yeah, yeah!

Yeah, hey, hey, yeah, hey hey, yeah, hey hey, yeah, yeah!

Chorus

I see now

There’s no price tag

On the better things in life

I see now

I deserve

the better things in life

You worked a miracle

Come on, take your bow

‘Cause I see now

Outtro

I see now

Yeah, hey, hey, yeah, hey hey, yeah, hey hey, yeah, yeah

(fade out)

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Love Don't Work That Way

Verse 1

Love letters in a shoe box under the bed

One by one I read them like you never left

Butterflies still dance as often as I breathe

Will I ever get you back to needing me?

Chorus

If I could take the wish I wished upon our star that night

I'd let it ride the wind--grab the heart of someone else's life

Turn back the clock of my innocence

And never shake the hand of fate

But love don't work that way

Verse 2

Morning comes--I pry myself from a restless sleep

The jasmine on your pillow lingers from a dream

Coffee's on--I stare into your empty cup

Looking for a way to make this hurtin' stop

Chorus

If I could take the wish I wished upon our star that night

I'd let it ride the wind--grab the heart of someone else's life

Turn back the clock of my innocence

And never shake the hand of fate

But love don't work that way

Bridge

In this little town

There's gossip floatin' all around

Don't they know

That a heart needs time to heal

Chorus

If I could take the wish I wished upon our star that night

I'd let it ride the wind--grab the heart of someone else's life

Turn back the clock of my innocence

And never shake the hand of fate

But love don't work that way

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RECKLESS

I can tear down this church with my bare hands

Curse at my Father and tell him where I stand

But how could I not know my sins

Pray for forgiveness and then do it again

CHORUS 1

I know I’m not there yet

No claim to be perfect

I’m just trying my best

To be a little reckless……

He wakes in the morning with bloodshot eyes

Tells me “I love you, sleep with me tonight”

But I am just too young to know better

I promise myself the world and then I settle

CHORUS 2

I know I’m not over it yet

No claim to be perfect

I’m just trying my best

To be a little reckless….

Maybe one day I will know the truth

The years I spent in hiding, I was hiding from you

And Momma you held me close to your skin

The night my dad left me, left me crying again

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

BRIDGE

There’s no reason why he should go now

Can’t believe I still want him somehow

I wipe away the shame scarred on my face

But there’s never another one to take his place

CHORUS 3

Cause we’re all good kids

No claim to be perfect

We’re just trying our best

To be a little reckless…

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The Moon

The moon is waxing at night

The earth is tilting while

The tide is turning.

Everything's under water but a slight

Perception of your frame

that's emerging.

Only fate, now and us

-----------------------------

The dark that scares the world

is dimmed by the reflection

of the warm ocean

A glimmer of the light that shows your shape

but lets your Secrets escape

into the blackness.

But the future is so bright

---------------------

Chorus

By choosing the moment when the dark is right

I have lost myself but not my night

----------------------------------

The sea is spreading its waves

And in the mighty swell,

Our bodies by inertia

My hand Silhouetted against the moon

is shadowing some places that could be ours soon

In the water,far and near

------------------------

Chorus

By choosing the moment when the dark is right

I have lost myself but not my night

----------------------------------

But now, the sun is rising

The mystery has gone

Everything's clear.

This obviousness is all I fear

All I want to hide from

So I'm waiting

For the darkness, the waves and us

-------------------------

Chorus

By choosing the moment when the dark is right

I have lost myself but not my night

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Tonight, I’m Gonna Feel Bad

Now she’s gone, and all my friends are here

And I thank God for every single one

But an endless string of platitudes

Designed to perk up my attitude

Doesn’t make for a night full of fun

They say there’s other fishes in the sea

And I just have to get back on that horse

But I know exactly what I need

Time to let a broken heart bleed

And let mother nature run her course

(chorus)

One day I’ll be happy

I had a chance to see Trinidad

And one day Napoleon Dynamite

Won’t make me feel so sad

I know life itself ain’t gone

And tomorrow I’ll start working on

All the good times I’m still gonna have

I thank you, friends

But, tonight, I’m gonna feel bad

Experience tells me this won’t go on forever

It’s sad to say, but I’ve been here before

I won’t always feel sorry for myself

I’ll make room for someone else

But, tonight, I’ll embrace the loss I’m crying for

(chorus)

(bridge)

It doesn’t mean I’m giving up

‘Cuz this ain’t just cola in my cup

Hearts seem to know when enough’s enough

But, tonight, I’m gonna feel bad

Yes, someday the sun will shine

And I’ll get past that she was mine

There’s new love waiting down the line

But, tonight, I’m gonna feel bad

(chorus)

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The River

Sometimes he goes crazy

When the sun goes down

He can be so bitter

When he's been on the town

It's just the bourbon talking

But it sets those spirits walking

Haunting her 'til morning

With an old familiar sound

The river will always come between them

No matter how hard they try to hide

The river will rise up and defeat them

Take away the best days of their lives

They settled in Missouri

In nineteen eighty two

Built a home and family

Where the Mississippi grew

Blind to their existence

As it rolled on in the distance

Until the day they realized

What the river always knew

The river will always come between them

No matter how hard they try to hide

The river will rise up and defeat them

Take away the best days of their lives

A boy of three, already

The image of the man

He loved to watch his Daddy

Navigate the boat to land

Standing in the rushes

Where the river nearly touches

How could she fail to notice

He'd let go of her hand?

The river will always come between them

No matter how hard they try to hide

The river will rise up and defeat them

Take away the best days of their lives

She's older now

It's time she left

His drinking and her damned regret

But she can't yet

No, she can't yet

The river will always come between them

No matter how hard they try to hide

The river will rise up and defeat them

Take away the best days of their lives

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I Remember Music

Sounds of singing drifted

From an adjoining room

Like a breath of springtime

In February’s gloom

The crowded party vanished

When we met eye to eye

A gentle whirlwind caught us

And spun us towards the sky

I Remember Music

Around us in the air

I Remember Music

The music is still there

Topsy-turvy giddy

From the thrilling ride

We floated back to earth

And landed side by side

You introduced yourself

Smiled and said hello

Sparks lit up the night

And we were both aglow

I Remember Music

Around us in the air

I Remember Music

The music is still there

I recall the singing

I recall your eyes

When that magic moment

Took us by surprise

Though long years have passed

Since we lit this flame

Through the changing seasons

Love remains the same

I Remember Music

Around us in the air

I Remember Music

The music is still there

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Don’t you tell me things will be OK

1.

I’m sitting down, I’m sick and tired

I’m here in jail again

What comes around will go around

Been true since God knows when

But I’ve been burned and I have learned

That you are not my friend

So don’t you tell me things will be OK

2.

I bottomed out, I don’t get bail

I’m starting to get sick

Barely slept a wink last night

Dreaming of a fix

And I don’t like to think of you

Out there turning tricks

So don’t you tell me things will be OK

Ch.

We’re riding on a carousel

Getting sick and getting well

You and I cannot escape the ride

If I get off, you get back on

I give you hope and then it’s gone

Got no place to run, no place to hide

3.

But you take care of business well

And do what must be done

You do what you always do

Look after number one

No harm, no blame, I’d do the same

You played me and you won

But don’t you tell me things will be OK

Ch.

We’re riding on a carousel

Getting sick and getting well

You and I cannot escape the ride

If I get off, you get back on

I give you hope and then it’s gone

Got no place to run, no place to hide

Br.

Don’t tell me everything will be OK

Don’t tell me you can see the light of day

They’re calling in the markers and it’s more than I can pay

So don’t you tell me things will be OK

Ch.

We’re riding on a carousel

Getting sick and getting well

You and I cannot escape the ride

If I get off, you get back on

I give you hope and then it’s gone

Got no place to run, no place to hide

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It Doesn't Touch Me

V1

Rain pours down

I like the sound

Hits the roof

And then the ground

It's like you

Sometimes around

Oh but it doesn't touch me

V2

Sad story

On my tv

Worst report

In history

Round the globe

The tears run free

Oh but it doesn't touch me

Chorus

I won't let myself feel it

I must be numb to it all

I've climbed up this emotional cliff

If I am moved - I'll fall

V3

Not on trial

Yet in denial

Show the world

My empty smile

Cage the truth

That cold reptile

So it doesn't touch me...

Chorus

I won't let myself feel it

I must be numb to it all

High on this emotional cliff

If I am moved - I'll fall

Bridge

I must remain detached

Keep a lock on my pleasure and pain

If I'm seduced by either noose

I'll lose my head again

Chorus

I won't let myself feel it

I must be numb to it all

High on this emotional cliff

If I am moved - I'll fall

I'll fall, I'll fall.

So I can't let it touch me

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Just a Dream

It was a flawless night

So serene

I remember the stars were shining bright

Cool and clean

Your laughter lingered in the moonlight

Soft and clear

Playing games of Yahtzee

Out on your patio

Sipping margaritas

Singing with the radio

And like a favorite fantasy

That was just a dream

Just a dream

Just a dream

It was a perfect evening

Long ago

I remember your eyes were brightly shining

Indigo

I stood and said I should be leaving

Then you rose

You whispered, “Please don’t go”

Turned down the radio

Tightly you embraced me

Kissing on your patio

And like a fading fantasy

That was just a dream

Just a dream

Just a dream

Now I wake up in this nightmare

Cold and scared

Alone in the dark

All alone

All alone

And I wish that I was still dreaming

Lie back down and drift away

Far away

Returning to that moment

Praying that I never wake

Never wake

Never wake

But like a fleeting fantasy

It was all a dream

Just a dream

Just a dream

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SUNDAY NIGHT SONG AFFAIR

It's been forty-five hundred miles to Nashville

I'm making a few friends down here

Standing outside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

The early show is over

Yet the crowd still hangs around

Can't get enough of that songwriter stuff

Staying late for the original sounds

The line has started forming

Snaking round the parking lot

Anxious faces everywhere

As the doorman opens up a spot

Standing outside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

Yeah I'm

Standing outside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

He lets in that cute little redhead

Sitting by the front door

Says 'I can fit one more'

'But there's only standing room'

So I'm

Standing inside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

Standing inside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

I'm tight against an angel

Sent down from heaven above

Starting to get my hopes up

When they begin a song about love

The big man from Alabama

Gives us 12 tales about a new start

He's singing about a redheaded Susan

How that girl's going to break my heart

Standing inside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

Yeah I'm

Standing inside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

Trying to keep up with the Joneses

So I order another Bourbon Chase

Listening to her pump up the rhythm

On her daddy's ole stand up bass

When in struts the strummer

Heading right for my dreams

Hits on that little angel

Scoots her out of the scene

Standing inside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

Yeah I'm

Standing inside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

The MC keeps it rolling

Puts a smile upon my face

Doorman lets in another angel

I'm right back in the race

Standing inside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

Yeah I'm

Standing inside the Bluebird

Waiting on a Sunday Night Song Affair

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And the winner is..........??????

Let me save some suspense........I don't think it's me :lol:.

A lot of great lyrics this month, no?

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And the winner is..........??????

Let me save some suspense........I don't think it's me :lol:.

A lot of great lyrics this month, no?

I don't think it's me either but I'm damned curious to see if those I thought should win, actually did. :lol:

The suspense is killing me.

(Not really)

I lot of lyrics, period. Great, yes.

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Yes, some very good lyrics this month! My personal winner was Film Noir, with a few others very close.

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Yes, some very good lyrics this month! My personal winner was Film Noir, with a few others very close.

some great lyrics. i found it difficult to score. if i did it again i'd probably get different scores!!! but i did try my best!! my favourites were bluebird and afraid to open my eyes.

andy

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Yes, some very good lyrics this month! My personal winner was Film Noir, with a few others very close.

some great lyrics. i found it difficult to score. if i did it again i'd probably get different scores!!! but i did try my best!! my favourites were bluebird and afraid to open my eyes.

andy

I'll say, Andy. I had finishing in order: It Doesn't Touch Me, Film Noir, then all these ties - Afraid To Open My Eyes, Love Don't Work That Way, The River, Just a Dream, and Sunday Night Song Affair. Good batch, definitely.

Maybe Neal and his better half had an out of town gig these weekend or something.

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Shall we all just claim authorship before the scores are released and start the mutual admiration society meeting early?

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Personally, I think we should wait, because then it will just add additional posts, one for congrats then another for admiration :lol:

Neal...where you at?? :P

Kim

ps..impatient little musers, aren't we? :P

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Sorry for the delay folks. The results are on my office computer, which I forgot to bring home for the weekend. I'll have the results up Monday morning.

Neal

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Once again, I apologize for the delay in getting the results out. Here they are:

1st Place - 123 Points

The River, by Jonie

2nd Place - 119 Points

It Doesn't Touch Me, Starsinmyeyes

3rd Place - 117 Points

I Remember Music, Scubed

Congratulations to the winners and everyone who entered. It was a good turnout this month. Here are the overall scores:

The River, Jonie

7 7 6 8 8 9 5 9 7 6 7 6 8 8 7 8 7 123

It Doesn't touch me, Stars in My Eyes

9 7 7 6 6 8 5 7 7 6 8 7 9 8 7 5 7 119

I Remember Music, Scubed

6 7 6 7 8 6 5 8 7 7 7 6 7 7 10 5 8 117

Film Noir, Fabkebab

8 6 5 6 8 6 4 5 7 7 7 8 8 9 8 6 8 116

Bluebird, Midway

6 7 8 6 9 9 5 6 8 6 7 6 5 6 7 7 7 115

L'affaire à un café de Paris, Neuron

6 6 7 5 7 8 4 5 8 7 7 7 8 8 7 6 9 115

Don't tell me things will be OK, Alistair

6 6 5 6 10 5 5 9 7 9 6 8 6 6 5 6 6 111

Love Don't Work That Way, Zeek

7 6 7 5 6 6 5 7 7 8 8 5 6 6 9 5 7 110

Just a Dream, Gordon

7 7 6 5 6 6 4 6 7 5 8 6 8 5 7 6 9 108

Sunday Night Song Affair, RKG

7 8 7 6 6 6 6 5 8 7 6 6 6 5 6 5 7 107

Reckless, klo

5 5 5 7 6 5 5 6 8 8 6 7 6 7 7 6 6 105

Afraid to Open My Eyes, Andy LeF

7 6 8 5 6 4 5 5 6 5 8 4 8 5 8 6 7 103

Tonight I'm Gonna Feel Bad, Feegis

6 5 4 5 8 4 5 8 7 7 7 5 8 5 7 6 6 103

Love has Room Enough, Graybeard

5 6 6 6 6 5 4 5 8 3 7 5 5 5 7 6 6 95

Branded by your eyes, Mike5877

5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 8 5 7 5 5 6 6 5 7 94

I See Now, Kimberlyinnc

5 5 6 5 6 6 4 6 7 5 7 4 5 5 6 5 6 93

The Moon, Zeligovitch

5 5 6 5 6 6 4 5 6 6 7 3 8 4 7 5 5 93

Who Is Free, BlindCommisioner

5 6 6 5 6 5 4 5 7 4 6 3 6 4 7 5 5 89

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Congratulations to the deserving winners, even if my favourite was Alistair’s lyrics.

So, I’m 17th. I’m doing worse and worse every time in these contests . I should retire and above all contemplate what my English teacher said at school : «learn another language, please!» :D

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Congrats to Jonie

Stars and Scubed!!! :D

Some mighty fine lyrics. :)

I had Tied for first

The River and Don't tell me things will be OK

2nd was Tonight I'm gonna feel bad...

A lot of ties this month, because I didn't want to mark others so darn low to bring up the others, and with so many of them...lots of lyrics this time..

and I had a difficult time scoring, because it could go either way with several of them...

Kimberly

Edited by kimberlyinnc

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Well done Jonie, Stars and Scubed!

Three excellent lady lyricists! The cream always rises to the top! :)

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The cream always rises to the top! :)

I think my milk is sour.

Zeek

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Yes, congratulations!

I had The River at the top, Bluebird next, then a bazillion-way tie for third... i'll be curious to check my "rankings" to see if the scores sifted out similar at all to how i slotted everything! though off the top of my head, i recollect that I had Alistair's "Don't Tell Me..." and Feegis' "Tonight, I'm Gonna..." and Graybeard's "Love Has Room..." up in my upper echelon...

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The cream always rises to the top! :)

I think my milk is sour.

Zeek

Seems my effort was past it's sell by date as well!

Difficult to score this month, every lyric had something going for it :)

My favorite was "Sunday Night Song Affair" - some great ideas there.

Tied 2nd for me were "Bluebird", "The River", "I Remember Music", "It Doesn't Touch Me" and "Just a Dream".

Andy

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Congratulations to this months creme de la creme.

Jonie, really achingly good piece. Stars, I had you pegged on the top this month, so I wasn't far off in the end. Scooby-D, I had you neck and neck with a whole bunch of others, all near the top group. This was probably the hardest month to winnow out the top songs since I started doing these contests. The depth of field really makes you take the extra time to weigh one against another. And that's a good thing, as Martha Stewart would say.

Thanks to Neal for herding this month. And thanks to everyone who voted my piece high enough to keep it in the running.

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I agree, AndyLeF... when i submitted my scores to Neal, i commented that i thought so many of these had SOMETHING i really liked about it, and then maybe a couple few things that maybe could use a little punching or touching up or something... it was very hard to discern and i kept shuffling my rankings considerably...

(and thanks for the nod... i always appreciate hearing that somebody likes something i write... i get a lot of mixed reactions, but that's okay, i'm still new and this was my first sub-200 word effort, I think... actually, who am i kidding, i think this may have been my first sub-300 word effort! :lol: )

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Congratulations, Jonie and Stars! Two terrific lyrics! :D

In fact, there were so many creative and interesting lyrics this month I had a really hard time with scoring. I found something to like in all of the lyrics and a great deal to like in many of them. I had "It Doesn't Touch Me" at the top and "The River" and a number of other lyrics more or less tied for second. (Zeligovitch, you were in my "tied for second" group - I think "The Moon" would work as an art song.)

Thanks so much to those of you who liked "I Remember Music"!

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Well done Jonie - I picked yours as my winner. I also liked Bluebird

Who was voter number 7? They were a bit sour, apparently offering 4 and 5s to everyone!

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Congratulations jonie! As I've said elsewhere, this song flowed so well, I should have known it was yours! And to scubed - You were my top pick this month, that was a wonderful lyric also.

I also loved Film Noir, Love Don't Work That Way, Afraid To Open My Eyes and Tonight I'm Gonna Feel Bad. I enjoyed all the entries - it's fantastic that so many people are submitting lyrics :D !

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congrats to the winner.

as i've said previously my top 2 were bluebird and afraid to open my eyes.

this will help keep my feet on the ground!!! an honary mention in american songwriter last month - bottom of the class this month!!!

we'll have to see how my lyric is recieved as a song - i've got the backing track almost done!!

andy

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Congratulations to the winners!! Excellent lyrics.

I don't think it's me either......

(well.....weren't you proven wrong? :lol: Nice lyric, Jonie.)

There is some great writing throughout the entries. Some of the most consistently solid writing I think I've seen in the contests. Every lyric had something positive.

I had Stars' "It Doesn't Touch Me" and Gordon's "Just A Dream" tied for the lead. I'm always impressed with the writing here, and I'm always flattered when I see someone thought positively of mine.

Best Regards,

Feegis

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This is something that came to me after a few reviews of my lyric on the lyrical comment board.

Would it be something that would be allowed on the upcoming lyrical contests, for a lyricist to add just one line before their lyric as to the genre they hear the song in, or an artist they hear the style in? I think it would help a great deal when scoring a lyric. Though I suppose if it were allowed and I was the only one that did it, it would not work out too good, but if the lyricist were reminded to do it, if that were decided, then it would not make one of us stand out as much...remain unnamed ;)

For instance in my lyric, I See Now

I would have put before it, in the style of Jason Mraz.

Is this something we could consider doing? Would other lyricists be interested in doing this? Is it something we could talk about?

Kimberly

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Kim, my first thought, before I moved on to reading the actual lyric, would be "who is Jason Mraz?" I could go with maybe including a genre (as in, country, rock, jazz, folk, etc) with the observation that people can often guess a genre anyway by looking at the structure and rhythm of the lyric. The other objection I might have is to say that I don't always know what genre my lyric would fit best into. I'd probably find myself labeling everything Americana or Judy Collinsish.

But I'm a good sport and will go with the general consensus. It's not a big deal.

By the way, I think this month's Lyric Contest is a travesty of the highest order. How on earth did I win? Granted, my lyric has some potential but, put up against the likes of Fab's Film Noir, Alistair's Driftwood, Ron's L'affair...klo's Reckless, Tracy's It Doesn't Touch Me - I just don't see how such a thing can happen. :lol:

Congrats Tracy and scubed. A female tour de force.

Thank you to all who liked The River well enough to put it on top.

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As a songwriter first I see/judge a lyric as something I can form a melody to, has cadence, rhythm, and of course, substance--telling a story. A few lyrics were more free form or poetic-heavy and that's ok, but it's just not what I'm used to. It's a mixed bag and that's the point of it I guess. My highest votes went to the ones I thought could be songs.

I think a lyric should not be labeled as "in the style of", etc. I think that if it's strong enough it will stand on its own and cross barriers if need be. I rarely enter lyric contests here but it is fun for sure and it gives me a chance to see this side of the site more. What I absolutely love about the lyric contest is it anonymity. It's almost impossible to do that in the song contest but here it's the real gem behind the scenes, the 12th man as it were. I could probably guess 1 or 2 authors and you guys maybe more as you see this side more often than me, but not knowing who did what is a breath of fresh air for me.

Zeek

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congrats to the winner.

as i've said previously my top 2 were bluebird and afraid to open my eyes.

this will help keep my feet on the ground!!! an honary mention in american songwriter last month - bottom of the class this month!!!

we'll have to see how my lyric is recieved as a song - i've got the backing track almost done!!

andy

Hey Andy, kind of tangential to what you posted here: Which entry of yours made honorary mention in Am. Songwriter last month? I subscribe because I've entered a couple of their contests and have that issue laying around here somewhere. Also, what is your overall impression of the "winners" they tend to choose?

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As a songwriter first I see/judge a lyric as something I can form a melody to, has cadence, rhythm, and of course, substance--telling a story. A few lyrics were more free form or poetic-heavy and that's ok, but it's just not what I'm used to. It's a mixed bag and that's the point of it I guess. My highest votes went to the ones I thought could be songs.

I think a lyric should not be labeled as "in the style of", etc. I think that if it's strong enough it will stand on its own and cross barriers if need be. I rarely enter lyric contests here but it is fun for sure and it gives me a chance to see this side of the site more. What I absolutely love about the lyric contest is it anonymity. It's almost impossible to do that in the song contest but here it's the real gem behind the scenes, the 12th man as it were. I could probably guess 1 or 2 authors and you guys maybe more as you see this side more often than me, but not knowing who did what is a breath of fresh air for me.

Zeek

I agree in large part with Zeek. But I have decided that I have no idea how to quantitatively rate an isolated lyric. My top tier included "Don't say that I'm okay," "film noir," "The River" and "Bluebird" but everything was pretty packed in together and the lowest score I gave was a 5 or 6. Also, as I implied above, don't get either too upset or a too swelled head from my scoring, because as I'm learning it probably isn't worth anything. Two of the lyrics in the contest that I didn't have on the top of my list as I recall, Zeligovitch and Kim's, when I put in time and worked with them after they were posted on the Forum, I really got to like them quite a bit. Specifically, Kim's when I came at it with a reference of Jason Mraz, changed my viewpoint. When you're evaluating a large group of these lyrics, it's difficult to put extensive time working with a lyric to know what's really there. I can tell you right away if lyric has something that engages me enough to want to set it to music, but I can't tell you right away whether something that seems like it's not that good may actually be pretty decent.

I know that when I try to set a lyric in music, ordinarily I prefer not to have any idea what the lyricist had in mind, I would rather engage all possibilities - however my limitations, shouldn't impact the score in the contest. Just like I try not to let my own prejudices about certain kinds of music influence my score. So I think that giving the genre or some kind of orienting remark would be just fine.

Finally, and I know this is easier said than done, but we should probably not take the scores we get too seriously. For me, who has only entered his second lyric contest, I consider this a prompt to write something and I have a kind of morbid curiosity what kind of scores I get. I guess though, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm probably pretty competitive -- at least that's what my wife says, and after all these years I do have enough sense not to contradict her -- and so I can't completely blunt an emotional response to winning or losing. I also use a psychological defense that I don't pretend to be a "real" lyricist, I'm just a tourist here :D -- Ron

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I agree, too.

In fact, the lyric contest is a world all of its own. There are good lyrics that would never "make it" in the contest because of the absence of the music. The contest definitely (to my mind) suits some types of lyrics over others and we choose accordingly.

Indeed, in the past, I have entered (and won with) lyrics that I never intend(ed) to develop into a song - they were just exercises designed for the medium of the competition.

We all have our psychological defences, too! :lol:

Here's one - when we look through the entries, we see some lyrics we like, and a lot that we don't rate highly. Which lyrics fall into which category will vary according to taste. But, guess what? The people who wrote the lyrics you didn't rate are the judges of the contest!

As it turns out, I do think the better lyrics are generally scored at, or near, the top. However, there are often lyrics that I rated but which don't score well, and I am frequently surprised.

I think the best way to look at it is as a bit of fun and maybe a bit of a showcase - but not to take it too seriously. The eventual songs are what matter, after all.

I also think it is worth selecting lyrics that are "contest friendly" to enter - and those may not always be the lyrics you most love to sing!

I see no real harm in letting people have a very short intro to a lyric.. maybe 20 words or so, if they choose. If nothing else, it may make the "guess the writer" game so many of us play that much easier!! :lol:

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I'm not convinced that labelling an entry with a genre or saying “this is in the style of” is a good idea. It would be an unnecessary complication that could lead to requests for other qualifiers to be added to the entries. Where would it end? This is a lyric contest, not a genre contest. Let the words on the page stand (or fall) on their own merit. And remember: it's just for fun.

I remember an episode on Bewitched, where Aunt Clara accidentally brought Shakespeare into the present and she couldn’t figure out how to get him back. To keep him occupied while they sorted out the mess, Samantha enrolled him in a Shakespeare course in a local school. He failed. There’s a point somewhere in this story that relates to these lyric contests.

Neal

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Ok Neal, I was just asking... :P .as a couple of people said to me, if they had known the genre I had in mind /or the singer style, they would have scored my lyric differently...so I thought perhaps it would benefit lyricists to have that opportunity.

On the lyrical forum, we are encouraged to note genre or the style.. so I thought, why not for the contest too...I know on the lyrical board when I critique, knowing that little bit of info helps me to understand the thought behind it and what they intend it to be.

It would not make it a genre contest.

Maybe just make us a more informed scorer. Just my opinion..not only mine, but anyways.. :lol:

Ok..no need to defend this anymore.

:lol:

It's no biggie :) and Neal, I don't have to be reminded it's just for fun. I am not having a mad fit here, I am just asking a question and offering a suggestion.

It won't affect my life either way. Just thought, since it was mentioned to me, I would bring it up.

Have a good day, and thanks for all you do for the contests. :)

Kim--done with adding my 2 cents worth :rolleyes:

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