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paradise dismissed

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About paradise dismissed

  • Rank
    Muse In Training
  • Birthday 12/17/1991

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Toronto

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    lyrics, aspiring musician
  • Musical Influences?
    too many to mention
  1. thanks neal for running this, and congrats to ron (for a third time!) and jonie! i was really surprised with how my lyric was received, considering i didn't particularily like it myself and entered it last minute because i didn't finish the lyric i was working on. i had 'like it was yesterday' as my top vote, i found it simple and endearing. see you all next month, and i'll try to comment on every lyric from the contest put in the critique forum
  2. people have made some good points in this thread. i guess i was too extreme with my initial post, as there are some places for a bridge (i can't imagine what cats in the cradle would be like without one) however, i still view bridges as something additional and not a requirement.
  3. a bunch of lyrics have duplicate low scores so clearly at least one person would have agreed with bernabby (unfairly assuming the he gave everyone their lowest scores). why is bernabby the only one held responsible?
  4. lyrically, what does a bridge do that a verse couldn't? i'm inclined to agree with alistair in that some songs could use a middle 8 to change up the musical flow a little or for transitions, so i'll take my comment back about bridges being unnecessary musically.
  5. i know what the purposes of bridges are, but here is my philosophy: if you have strong enough verses (and a strong enough chorus) you should never need a bridge. if the verses and chorus don't tie the story together enough by themselves then i view the bridge as a mickey mouse way of fixing a problem. throwing a bridge in there isn't going to fix a song nearly as well as strengthening the verses or chorus. i know my opinion is probably unpopular but i'll certainly give people a chance to defend theirs. just for clarification i am talking more about bridges lyrically, but i also feel they are unnecessary musically. it is one of my pet peeves to hear 'it could use a bridge' as if it is some mandatory thing to have. like i view bridges a as a mickey mouse fix, i view it as a mickey mouse critique to a certain extent. thoughts and comments welcome.
  6. since it is a contest, your marks only matter relative to the competition. if somebody hands out scores evenly from 2-6 what is the difference between that and somebody who hands out scores evenly from 6-10? bernabby seemed to be pretty consistent (ie not giving out 2's and 10's at the same time) so the results shouldn't be skewed. i don't care what scores people who are voting give, as long as they are applying the same scrutiny to every lyric. i don't see the point in taking it personally. neuroron's lyric won the contest and somebody gave him a 4. that's why we have as many voters as we do, so the law of averages will work its magic and the lyrics are generally placed where they belong. as long as non-participants are willing to spend their time to this and be fair with their votes i see no reason to complain. i don't think i've seen anyone complain that they got a 10 because they didn't think they deserved it...
  7. Thanks to Neal for running this contest, as per usual. I couldn't believe I didn't edit one of my mistakes before submitting, oh well. Congrats to ron and phil for coming in the top 2! I had Mike's lyric "You Deserve Fine Linen" as my top lyric. see you all next month
  8. Sorry I saw this from the main page - is your username named after the NHL player or do you coincidentally have the same name?
  9. thanks to both neal and kimberlyinnc for running this (as usual) and congrats to ron and scubed. i loved the last verse of over there, probably my favourite part of the whole contest. thanks also to gordon and mr. charles wolf for their continued individual song analysis, the feedback is much appreciated. as for my lyric, i got kind of lazy with the line (that im sure surprised most people) "i'll kill him". i finished the lyric pretty close to the deadline and wasn't ambitious enough to craft a better fitting line. this laziness isn't fair to the competition or any of its entrants and i promise to put forth the effort that the competition deserves from here on out. Cheers
  10. forever young - bob dylan forever young - alphaville also someone like you by both van morrison and adele
  11. no worries, i did the same thing on my first contest entry. although it didn't matter since i finished near the bottom anyways.
  12. it wasn't just you neuroron, i didn't see any lyrics that particularily stood out, and my scoring range was very tight as well. i gave my top scores to call of the bosun mate and what true love means, congrats to alistair and duane clancy (you should've submitted those scores!) thanks also to neal for running this, this competition gives me incentive to finish my lyrics at a certain date, which is a good exercise i imagine. as for me, back to the drawing board.
  13. it's about the only thing keeping me somewhat sane
  14. i'm with alistair on this one, i am fairly detached from my songs
  15. good response mulls, obviously it is subjective when it comes to perfecting ones art. i was just curious as to what peoples opinions were on how to do so. and i totally agree that practising outside of your comfort zone can only benefit you, as long as you still revert back to what is true when the time comes to write something original. I myself have written lyrics that mimic the likes of dylan and cohen and while i tink they are good, i'm not nearly as proud of them as i am of lyrics that come from no particular influence