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Dottie

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    132
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About Dottie

  • Rank
    Active Muse
  • Birthday 08/03/1959

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Atlanta, Ga.
  • Interests
    Writing, music, anything creative. I actually enjoy restoring old cars, but I haven't done that for a while.

Previous Fields

  • Lyricist, Composer or Both?
    Lyricist
  1. I want to thank you all for the prayers and well wishes. As of last week my lung cancer is in remission. As far as the brain tumors I have no idea. I've had all the radiation I can have on my head and all seems to be well. I haven't had another CT scan on my head because I don't see any reason to right now. I feel pretty good and I'm getting ready for a wonderful vacation in Mexico in a little over a week!!! ))) I sincerely thank you all from the bottom of my heart. It' AMAZING how dying can make you feel so alive. I've never been happier! Dottie
  2. Hi All, Thanks for all the prayers, Lord knows I need them. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get on here often but I do think of you all and your kind words and well wishes. I'm feeling a bit better today. I was able to eat with very little pain for the 1st time in what feels like forever! Chemo starts back Monday but this time I'm feeling fortunate to be able to go. It wasn't looking good for a while there. Kim, thank you for always being there, for sharing my pain while dealing with your own. You are a dear friend. Dottie
  3. Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. It's been quite some time since I posted anything or commented on anything. I'm getting a chemo treatment as I type and then they're going to make me glow in the dark. So far I haven't gotten sick but that's beginning to change. On the bright side I won't have to worry about fixing my hair. I've been planning ahead and bought four wigs, for different colors and styles. Again I truly appreciate your concern. 😊 Dotie
  4. Hi Wallwriter, I love the verses...awesome!!! I believe your chorus is the weakest link here and feel that it should be the strongest. You end v1 with A sound and also begin the chorus that way. I'm not sure that's a problem but it could be. Chorus1 You could be here watching the world turn a page I don't feel this line adds anything to the lyric. You should be here. You should be standing on the crest of the wave You could be here, if you2 dared to be brave You would be half as much again.3 I don't understand what this line means. As a new dawn breaks, a new day wakes and it calls you. I think this chorus may feel emotional to you, and if that's all you want it to do so be it. I don't feel a connection to your chorus though. Like I said, I love the verses so I think it's worth digging a little deeper for a great chorus. Dottie
  5. Hi Bossell, Tell us how you really feel lol. I may be wrong but this looks extremely personal. I've been in this situation so I know where you're coming from. I think the 1st verse is much stronger than v2. V1 has imagery whereas v2 is more telling than showing. I would try to find another ending line for the chorus because I don't feel like you're surrendering. :)/> Dottie
  6. Good point.Dottie
  7. This is very powerful Dottie! I added a few ideas to ponder, keep or sweep...so good to see you writing again! Kimberly Thanks for sharing your thoughts Kim! Dottie
  8. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Spanish! They are all good points Dottie
  9. Thanks for you thoughtful critique. Dottie
  10. Mortal, Dino and Gary, I've added the work tape so you'll have a better idea where this is leading. Gary, repeating "no one won" 3 times was meant to fade out, perhaps I should have stated that. Dottie
  11. Lord of the Twilight Gang (This is the one I was referring to as dark) I have to go to a ball game but I'll leave my 2 cents on some lyrics when I return. Thanks! Intro Blood in, blood out Midnight calls the beat V1 He's running from his shadow He's running from his pain He’s running scared and tripping over A life that he can't change V2/rise Forsaken by a fathers love He’s buried deep in hate He's stomping off and barreling to The streets to fuel his rage Chorus Lord of the twilight (gang) No prayer to call his own Roaming round the streets Like a king without a throne Powered by his anger Driven by desire Children of the twilight (gang) Rush to fan the fire (Rush to fan the fire) V3 blood and tattoos on his hands He's cast his youth aside Graffiti painted billboards (A) Reflection of his time V4/rise Eternal pits await his soul His heart is set to blaze Hades holds no sympathy For his tender age Chorus Bridge He's surrounded by his chaos in utter disarray He's burned the bridge of reason in the cold hard light of day Chorus Outro Children of the twilight - Rush to fan the fire Children of the twilight - Rush to fan the fire Dottie Corley Phil Smith
  12. Thanks for your time and thoughts. :)/> Dottie
  13. Thanks for the time and your thoughts. Dottie
  14. Hi Spanish, Thanks for the read, I'm glad you like it. Kim, To me hand/win sound similar enough to work, could just be me! I'm glad you like it. I have the mp3 that Tommy made, I'll have to let you listen and see what you think. Dottie
  15. Hi Cindy, I love this title and much of the lyric. I have a few suggestions below, kos of course. I descended into darkness Troublesdemons are my only friends because we often refer to our addictions as demons. [/color][/color] So many bad choices Too many odds and ends I don't get this line. Maybe something like Framed this guilt I live in? That would support the previous lines well. I descended into hell Tried so hard to climb back out Bottle after bottle Time after time, passing out Chorus I am going to fight this curse I feel like these 1st two lines are a little weak and the rest of the chorus is strong enough to deserve great opening lines. Can't let it get any worse No more vodka, no more Jack I refuse to fade to black...fade to black I descended to the bottom But my addiction I'll now face I just have to find some inner strength And be touched with a little grace It seems like you were just tired of working on this when you came to this point. Maybe something about this place? I don't have a good idea to toss you. Repeat chorus I definitely think this is worth tweaking. Dottie