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Frank79

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About Frank79

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    Muse In Training
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    France
  1. Thank you Chaz, I actually already posted the song a few weeks ago. It's still up for critique here : This song is for you.
  2. Man, it's a really really touching song you have here. And I'm sure most people can relate to the lyrics. I find them perfect. So simple and yet so true. The empty chair, your childhood lessons for living, she showed me how to love and give, I see her in my daughter's eyes, her favourite meal... So powerful. Losing your mother or your father can't be better described. This is a priceless gift you offered her. I wrote a song for thanking some people for everything they've done for me. It's not particulary aimed at someone who died. So in some ways, it's more opened for audience connexions (but I know that's not what you were looking for here). But I can't prevent myself from thinking about my grand-father and my father who both passed away since then when I'm playing it. And I can remember myself trying to find the most relevant words to paint these exactly same ideas you have here. That empty chair, those lessons for living, those good memories you'll never forget, the love she brings to you. You should bother to must produce it ! You must spread it, you must play it live. Any people that helped others growing up as good or better men and women deserve a song. I can't hear any problem in your fingerpicking :)/>/> Man, it's a really really touching song you have here.
  3. I too find this version to have a better rendition than the 1+1 entry. The bass line is definitely adding a lot to that classic rock'n'roll groove. And I can only second Oswlek : where is the electric guitar ? I'd enter in the pre-chorus part ("I never thought she'd leave me for somebody new..."), replacing or dubbing the acoustic with a clean tone. I'd switch with a crunch-type tone for the chorus. Maybe played using power chords. I'd left the bridge without any electric guitar addition to increase that hiatus effect (that is already working well IMHO). I know that's alot of "I'd" and to be honest, I never ever even tried to produce or arrange any track myself... I like the quality of your writing and the production here is very clean. I guess you have a little reverb' or delay effect on your voice; just enough to make it perfectly efficient. And that's hard to achieve.
  4. Hello, The main thing I'm sure about 99% of the musers will want to tell you is that you must take some singing lessons. You sound out of tune, especially in the chorus... and that's too bad because you have a pretty sweet and appealing voice and there's definitely something to do with your songs. Find yourself a teacher. Bring your own material with you so you can work on the vocals. Once you'll get the basics, your songs renditions will sound way way way above average.
  5. This recording has a strong 80's rock feeling to it. Your artist name is "Mothers Talk". I guess it's related to the "Tears for fears", right ? Your vocals at 2:40 sound sooo much Roland Orzabal and the overall melody is sooo Tears for Fears :)/>/>/>/> Very impressive guitar solo ! Main caveat here is that I'm having a hard time understanding the lyrics. Even after a third listen. I'm french and far from being 100% english-fluent. So that might be just me. Maybe you shouldn't pay too much attention in what I'm saying if nobody else tells you the same. Greetings, -Frank Edit: well, I should have read what other said before posting... It seems like I'm not the only one having a hard time understanding your lyrics. Definitely something to work on. Try to give more strenght to certain words by accentuating the sound of letters like "P", "D", "T". Give more energy to your singing. Watch some Tears for Fears (or whatever bands or artists you like) videos and pay attention to the how singers move their mouth or head to reach the notes or give a punchy edge to some syllabs. It can be useful to fix the lyrics so you can focus on how to sing the words. I've got a problem with one of my lyric currently : I'm using a line with the words "true feelings". The idea I'm actually trying to convey is "real feelings". But the word "true" has a "T" in it, which makes it easier to give strenght to it while singing. That particular "True" word is very important melody-wise. It's the punchiest word in the whole verse. Replacing it by the word "Real" might remove some energy. So I don't know... I'm considering changing the whole line just to keep the word "True" in that exact place in the metering. Hope you get what I'm trying to say. Some skilled vocalist that are native english speakers might be more helpful than me...
  6. Thank you ! I joined in 2008 but didn't post that much way back then.
  7. Thank you very much Mortal. I've got two songs already posted for feedbacks, voted for the september 1+1 contest and recently reviewed a dozen of tracks that were up for critique. This place is nice -Frank
  8. Hello Gravedigger and welcome aboard ! Your vocals in the verses are partially covered by the music. You tend to sound off-key at the end of some lines. For the verses, I think it has to do with the lower notes you use, which might be too low for your current vocal range. For the choruses, it might just be because you throw all your energy at the beginning of each line and there's nothing left to finnish the job before you take a new breath. This results in recurrent vocal dropouts. You can use words that include letters like 'D', 'T', 'G' to accentuate pronunciation a give more punch to your vocals. I really like the chorus. The way it begins and the way you sing it. Cool melody. The "ah ah" part is a great addition to the song. And very nice piano outro too ! Great recording I enjoied to give a couple of listens to
  9. Hi everyone, my name is Frank. I'm 35 years old and I'm french. I mainly listen to english-speaking rock artists or bands, so I try my best to write and sing in english. My current favourites are the Rival Sons, The Brew (UK), The Gaslight Anthem, Blues Pills, David Gray... only to name a few. I've been a big fan of Queen, Nirvana, Oasis and a 90's band called +LiVe+ (from York, PA). Those are the bands that inspired me. I play guitar. It's the only instrument I can play so far and I'm a pretty average player. And I sing, but I'm still hurting both my throat and my ears when singing and listening back to my recordings. I have an unexistant knowledge on studio recording techniques... Lots of things left to learn, ha !! I like lyrics to be versatile so that everyone can connect their own experience or thoughts to them. Whatever the meaning you'll find in my songs, as long a they can talk to you. And I like music to be emotional. I prefer technical/killer vocals over technical/killer guitar solos. I hope to get good advices here. I'll try my best to give valuable opinions on other's work as well. Greetings, See ya, -Frank
  10. (What ? Only one reply so far for such a potential smash hit track !!) Hey, to answer your question, yes I would call this rock. Let's say Franz-Ferdinand-type rock. I really like the guitar work (playing , tone) and thought it works well with that Casio sound. Vocals are great too (except maybe for backing vocals which are nice but slightly off-tempo). On the other hand, drums are breaking in exactly when needed. Was that brickwalling effect really wanted ? Or you just overloaded your mics while recording ? You definitely have a great feeling for musical instrumentation. All that's missing here is more work for the mix. I can only tell you to go on with this track. It has way more potential than a simple B-side and I'd really like to hear a cleaner rendition of it. Greetings, -Frank
  11. Hi, I like your lyric. You kept it simple but relevant, which is something hard to achieve. The lead guitar riff is also pretty catchy. Right now, you have a verses melody and a chorus melody. Maybe the song is missing a third variation in the melody. While giving your song a first listen (without paying attention to the lyric), I thought the first chorus was in fact a pre-chorus or kind of a verse variation. I was waiting for a change in the melody right after it, but you break into the second verse. After the second chorus, I was still expecting for a bridge or something different from the verse and the chorus melodies. So why not trying to add an additional piece of salt ? Structure 1 suggestion : verse > pre-chorus > chorus (would be the current missing part) > verse > pre-chorus > chorus (would be the current missing part) Structure 2 suggestion : verse > chorus > verse > chorus > bridge (would be the current missing part) > chorus All in all, I enjoied listening to your song. While you're talking about someone who might have piss you off, I like that peacefully rendition you've managed to bring to us. Great start Keep us updated !
  12. Hello Janice, while giving a listen to your song, I had two young kids in the room that were having a quarel over a toy or whatever. When it came to the first chorus, they suddenly stopped arguing to focus on the music. I think you're the remedy to world-war-level problems. Just wanted to share that. Thank you -Frank
  13. Here's a song I started to write maybe 10 years ago... And this recording already is 4 years old ! I know my vocals are poor and I feel frustrated with my limits. This song should sound full, harsh, but I can't seem to achieve this by now. I'm still hurting my throat while singing and looking for the right key to be at my ease. Any comment is welcome. Just write whatever comes to your mind while listening to the song or reading the lyrics. Thank you ! Going Outside https://soundcloud.com/the-broken-tape/go-take02-21-06-2010 [Verse 01] It's not what she said It's the way she said it Made of endless silence Where an answer would have made more sense [Verse 02] I've seen her in a dream of mine She held me so tight All these feelings seemed so true that I woke up with tears in my eyes [Chorus] So I am going outside So I am changing my mind Giving water to my seeds Something new to feed my needs I'm alive, I'm alive and well [Verse 03] You'd never believe Such a sweet mouth could kill Think about the meaning of "Hang upon her lips" [Verse 04] I've seen her in a dream of mine She held me so tight I swear I could feel her faith and her blood rushing beneath her vains [Chorus] So I am going outside So I am changing my mind Giving water to my seeds Something new to feed my needs I'm alive, I'm alive and well [Verse 05] Tell me how could I've been true or honest with you? While from the beginning I lied to myself too [Verse 06] I've seen her in a dream of mine She held me so tight For she had much to suffer I just focused on how to please her [Chorus] So I am going outside So I am changing my mind Giving water to my seeds Something new to feed my needs I'm alive, I'm alive and well
  14. While listening to your recording was a pretty weird experience, the fact that your vocal line mirrors the guitar riff got me into the song. I listened to it only once and now the chorus is stuck in my mind. You definitely have something catchy here. Maybe you should try to lower the tempo a little bit. Your playing and singing were too fast in my opinion. As a result, you sound like a robot. Give yourself some more room; take the time to lay down your vocals and your guitar. I can see you're from Germany. Glückwünsche for writing your lyrics in english !
  15. Hi Hybrid, I must say I've been impressed by both the solid vocals and the guitar playing on this one. You're pretty much skilled !! On the other hand, I find the lyrics to be too generic. I guess you just wanted some words to fit that great melody you had in mind, but you need at least one catchy line hook. "Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you". I can think about alot of great tunes where lyrics doesn't make any sense, but are catchy enough to fix the melody in the listener's mind forever. You need to come with at least one terrific line and, to me, you'll be good